Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm nowhere close even considering moving. To answer a few questions though:
1. My job is 100% flexible to change location. His is definitely not.
2. He has a child. I don't. He would obviously have to stay put.
I just want to get to know him. He's pretty amazing.

Sounds like he's tied down. A fling? maybe. A text relationship? Possibly. A future? unlikely.

Go in with eyes open -- both to his limitations and to guys available near you. Think globally, act locally, even in dating.

I married my long-distance r-ship (16 yrs ago) Still in love but still smarting from having to leave a place that I really loved living in.

Anonymous wrote:Also, I'm going to text him today. What the hell do I say?

Say hey, I enjoyed meeting you at the wedding etc. Reference a funny moment or conversation you guys had and than see what his response is. Great thing about texting is that it is location agnostic.

I met dh on a plane; we're from different countries, and lived in different countries at the time. So glad I didn't listen to the "throw him back" types at the time.

Let him text you first please.

Also, I'm going to text him today. What the hell do I say?

OP here. I'm nowhere close even considering moving. To answer a few questions though:
1. My job is 100% flexible to change location. His is definitely not.
2. He has a child. I don't. He would obviously have to stay put.
I just want to get to know him. He's pretty amazing.

Unless one of you was already interested in moving coasts, this is going to create a lot of resentment down the road. Where are both of your families? Where do you want to raise your future children? How far from their grandparents?

Visits.
My brother married just such a gal.

Just talk and text and make use of technology. If it grows into something more, plan a weekend together (you could always stay in a hotel room of your own if you wouldn't be comfortable staying together with him yet). I wouldn't automatically discount him based on location alone. If you're open to moving, or he is, then why not give it a shot?

Anonymous wrote:I was visiting a friend on the west coast and met a fantastic guy at a party we attended.
We were very into each other and had great conversation (despite my jet lag).
We exchanged numbers at the end of the night and made plans to keep in touch.
This could turn into nothing, but it'd be great if it turned into something more. I really like him.
How do you get to know someone from the other side of the country?

This could have been me, except I met the girl when she was visiting my roommate from the west coast. We hung out the night before she left and hit it off. It was instant chemistry and we talked until 5am before I made a move. Next few hours were a blur but we had a nice time. I kept in touch with her via email and a lot of phone calls. This was 10 years ago and she made texting fun. Texting started off from day to day stuff to how did we ended up being together. I visited her a few times and the chemistry was still there. She was getting over a divorce so we didn't end up together for long. Lots of great conversations and memories though. We still text even though we both are married.

This was way to long to just say go for it OP. Technology makes it easy to keep in touch and get to know someone.

Anonymous wrote:Slow down a bit.

You may be jumping the gun here.

First, get to know this guy slowly as a friend way before you begin even processing the idea of a LTR long distance.

Good luck!

Read the OP. It's not about an LTR. It's a question about how to get to know someone long-distance.

Slow down a bit.

You may be jumping the gun here.

First, get to know this guy slowly as a friend way before you begin even processing the idea of a LTR long distance.

Good luck!

There is also the telephone. If you want to pursue this, don't date guys in your area. That will end the relationship with him. That's what happened with my long distance relationship. It lasted like 3 years, but when I went out with a coworker as a friend, he went out with a coworker a week before Valentine's Day and then dumped me to date her. Beware though, because you will fill in the gaps with your own fantasy of what you want him to be, and IRL he's not the fantasy.

My friend who was dating someone across the country would have scheduled wine dates where they would get on skype and have a glass together while talking.