No. And especially NO if you are the default parent.

If you're making over $100K, no way.

For 20K or 12K net after taxes? $250 a week? No way. Flexibility is worth much more. For $60K more maybe.

No. But our HHI is $240K, so ...

Not for 20K. not worth it. That $ after tax will be eaten up by extra commuting, childcare, and unforeseen expenses. Plus, getting up to speed in a new job can take 1-2 years. You may have to put in extra hours in the beginning. Plus "the grass is always greener" or seems to be until you get there.

I've had several job moves, and the ones with just a $20K increase were more trouble than they were worth.

A couple years ago, I took a much bigger time consuming job for a 40% pay increase (and I have young kids). The first 2 years were really rough, but the pay increase was enough to make it worth it.

I turned down a similar increase because the hours would be different (and in such a way that I would not like long term).

I still wonder if I did the right thing, and sometimes I regret the decision and tell myself I would have adjusted. But part of that regret is based on the reality that some of the flexibility I once had in my current job has gone away (through circumstances I did not anticipate).

I think it all depends.

But the other part of the question is the job itself. Would the job be more interesting or different? In my scenario, the job itself would not have helped me learn new skills. In some ways, it would have been a step down as far as the actual skills I use on a day to day basis.

And that's the thing: I realized that the increase in pay wasn't connected to increased responsibility or management opportunity or even higher level skills. The higher pay had a lot to do with the hours/less flexibility.

I might have felt differently if the position had increased growth potential.

There are no simple answers to these decisions.

With a toddler at home, I would never give up flexibility for 15% raise, I wouldn't even do it for 50% for that matter. But it's just me.