I think the parents will be really annoyed that they took the time to get there 20 minutes early to do things for your party and you couldn't bother to do the same. They're showing up for your kid, it's already kind of a hassle, cause let's be real, birthday parties are hassles for the parents, and then you're not even there. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't even have the aunt, because that still looks like you didn't care enough to show up when they had to.

Everyone goes to Kid 1's thing. You leave with older son in time to get to the party by 4:40 and greet everyone and answer questions and handle check in. Dad stays til the end of Kid 1's thing and Ubers it over to the party afterward. Kid 1 probably won't know or care you weren't there til the very end as long as you're there for some.

Or, you move Kid 2's party to a later hour/different day.

You can't change he date or time of the birthday party? Call and ask!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But people will be looking for the parent that they know.

Older son is turning 8 - I'm assuming he and his friends will be able to see/find each other. I'm not sure I've met all the parents anyway. When we've attended these things, I say we are here for xyz's party and the person at the counter tells me where to go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, thanks.

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late? No, younger son is not being knighted but it's his very first "thing" and he's got an individual part, so he is excited and wants both parents to be there and we both want to be there too. I think older son wants to see younger son, too, but he'd rather go to his birthday party if he had a choice.

That's better, but still not actually good. The kid DEFINITELY has to be there.

What do you mean? This option has the birthday kid there but younger sib and parents (DH and I) may be late. Did I miss something?

I think the PP meant that it's sub-optimal that neither you nor your husband will be there to greet people.

I think an extroverted Aunt would be fine - Hi, welcome, come on in, I'm his Aunt Alice, his parents are at Younger Son's play and will be here shortly.

By this time, the guest and the birthday boy will be off doing whatever it is they are doing (bowling, laser tag, trampoline, bounce house).

But Aunt needs to be outgoing and willing and able to do this. I am. Not everyone is - you know your sister (or DH's sister)

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late?

It would be ok, but not great. As long as the birthday child himself is there, it is acceptable, but it would be better if a parent could be there as well.

Anonymous wrote:
But people will be looking for the parent that they know.

Older son is turning 8 - I'm assuming he and his friends will be able to see/find each other. I'm not sure I've met all the parents anyway. When we've attended these things, I say we are here for xyz's party and the person at the counter tells me where to go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, thanks.

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late? No, younger son is not being knighted but it's his very first "thing" and he's got an individual part, so he is excited and wants both parents to be there and we both want to be there too. I think older son wants to see younger son, too, but he'd rather go to his birthday party if he had a choice.

That's better, but still not actually good. The kid DEFINITELY has to be there.

What do you mean? This option has the birthday kid there but younger sib and parents (DH and I) may be late. Did I miss something?

No, you cannot do this as you planned. If younger child (YC)'s play/concert/event is so important and everyone needs to be there, then you cancel/postpone/reschedule older child (OC)'s party.

Otherwise, divide and conquer. You rent or borrow a car and all go to YC's event, one parent and OC leave at 4:10 and get to the party venue at 4:40. Other parent stays and congratulates YC on his participation and takes YC to the party arriving at 5:10. Mom, Dad and OC can all congratulate and compliment YC on his performance when everyone goes home after the birthday party. Does the beloved aunt/uncle have a second car that they can lend you for the day? Might save on renting a car.

One parent and birthday boy to the birthday party.
Aunt, other parent, and younger sibling to the younger sibling event.

You say you didn't over-schedule, but you did. You knew the possibility might arise, but didn't take it seriously. Surely, the younger sibs event, which is so important that you think the whole family should be there, didn't arise completely out of the blue.

Yes, you should rent another car or get an uber.

Anonymous wrote:OK, thanks.

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late? No, younger son is not being knighted but it's his very first "thing" and he's got an individual part, so he is excited and wants both parents to be there and we both want to be there too. I think older son wants to see younger son, too, but he'd rather go to his birthday party if he had a choice.

That's better, but still not actually good. The kid DEFINITELY has to be there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, thanks.

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late? No, younger son is not being knighted but it's his very first "thing" and he's got an individual part, so he is excited and wants both parents to be there and we both want to be there too. I think older son wants to see younger son, too, but he'd rather go to his birthday party if he had a choice.

Yes, this is fine. If the aunt will be the host and the birthday boy is there from the very start, you're fine. People will understand if you're a little late as long as there's a family member in charge.

But people will be looking for the parent that they know.

Anonymous wrote:What event is so important to sibling?

Take 2 cars. No big deal. Leave a little early and be on time for the birthday party. One parent can be slightly late with sibling while other parent is at party to be a host.

THIS. Send Aunt + Birthday child to arrive at 4:20. You leave younger son's event and make sure you're at the party venue at 4:40, and DH and younger sibling can arrive at 5:15.

We are a one car family.

Alright, maybe the answer is renting a second car. I hadn't thought about that. Thanks

Anonymous wrote:OK, thanks.

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late? No, younger son is not being knighted but it's his very first "thing" and he's got an individual part, so he is excited and wants both parents to be there and we both want to be there too. I think older son wants to see younger son, too, but he'd rather go to his birthday party if he had a choice.

Yes, this is fine. If the aunt will be the host and the birthday boy is there from the very start, you're fine. People will understand if you're a little late as long as there's a family member in charge.

What event is so important to sibling?

Take 2 cars. No big deal. Leave a little early and be on time for the birthday party. One parent can be slightly late with sibling while other parent is at party to be a host.

Anonymous wrote:You over scheduled.

Huh? We just got notice of the date of younger son's activity but had already reserved a party place for older son. There's a conflict, but not because of too many activities.