Anonymous wrote:When a teen keeps a messy room it is a smoke screen - a method of communication. Read a parenting book or ask a professional.

Anonymous wrote:Simple:

Everyday, anything left on the floor or purposely not put in the right plave goes in a basket. He needs to do a chore to get each item back (wi flex mirrors, empty dishwasher, vacuum one room.) If something is not claimed in 1 week, it goes to Good Will. No arguing, no negotiations.

No food in the bedroom. Only bottled water.

If he doesn't put clean clothes away in drawers or closets, he does the laundry for a week.


When teens act like toddlers, they get treated like toddlers. And this is not an ADD disorder. This is a TEEN disorder. Don't let his diagnosis be a crutch.

Anonymous wrote:Take everything away, except necessities (i.e. clothing) and pile it neatly in the basement. Each day he gets to pick one thing to take back. As long as his room is neat, he can continue to "shop" his stuff in your basement. If the room gets messy, he loses the last thing he reclaimed. If it stays messy, he loses the previous thing, until he cleans the room or you have all the stuff again.

Anonymous wrote:
My 15 year old will not throw anything out. Anything. His trash can is always empty, but piles and piles of papers, magazines, device cables, devices, books, clothes, food, empty food packages, empty water bottles, pens, pencils, are strewn all over the floor on a regular basis. The only time this is not the case is when the cleaning lady comes. She is a saint and doesn't complain. I usually ask him to pick up before hand, but his approach is to pile all this stuff on top of his desk, which is piled high about 2 feet with books papers and junk and throw any clean clothes on the floor in his closet, rather than fold and put away. He has plenty of shelf space to put books and papers, but he doesn't use it. He will not let me help him organize anymore and will not throw anything out...even old papers from school.

When I do his laundry and ask him to put it away, nothing is put where it belongs, and consequently he can't find something important like a sports jersey or something he really needs. Socks end up on the t-shirt drawer, athletic shorts end up in the pajama drawer...nothing is where it belongs. It is really a problem to the point that i have started putting his stuff away for him because I can't take trying to help him find things or going out to buy new stuff because he lost them. By the way, we did try having him fold and put away, and that was even worse.

Anonymous wrote:Take everything away, except necessities (i.e. clothing) and pile it neatly in the basement. Each day he gets to pick one thing to take back. As long as his room is neat, he can continue to "shop" his stuff in your basement. If the room gets messy, he loses the last thing he reclaimed. If it stays messy, he loses the previous thing, until he cleans the room or you have all the stuff again.

Anonymous wrote:I am ready to get a dumpster and just haul everything out and start all over. Let me start by saying that I have taken many steps to help organize DS. I even labeled the shelves in his closet on where things go, so he can easily find things.

My 15 year old will not throw anything out. Anything. His trash can is always empty, but piles and piles of papers, magazines, device cables, devices, books, clothes, food, empty food packages, empty water bottles, pens, pencils, are strewn all over the floor on a regular basis. The only time this is not the case is when the cleaning lady comes. She is a saint and doesn't complain. I usually ask him to pick up before hand, but his approach is to pile all this stuff on top of his desk, which is piled high about 2 feet with books papers and junk and throw any clean clothes on the floor in his closet, rather than fold and put away. He has plenty of shelf space to put books and papers, but he doesn't use it. He will not let me help him organize anymore and will not throw anything out...even old papers from school.

When I do his laundry and ask him to put it away, nothing is put where it belongs, and consequently he can't find something important like a sports jersey or something he really needs. Socks end up on the t-shirt drawer, athletic shorts end up in the pajama drawer...nothing is where it belongs. It is really a problem to the point that i have started putting his stuff away for him because I can't take trying to help him find things or going out to buy new stuff because he lost them. By the way, we did try having him fold and put away, and that was even worse.

He has ADHD, and not medicated. Bright kid, good student getting mostly As in a challenging curriculum. Can't do meds because of side effects.

Please tell me I am not alone here, and if anyone has any suggestions on how to help this kid (who is beginning to resent me). I worry about how he is going to manage when he leaves home for college in a few years. Is there a professional I can hire to help him get organized? Should I cross post this on kids with special needs, or is this a universal issue among all teen boys?