My brother was in private school. I always thought his school day sounded way more fun than mine. Don't have a great relationship with my parents. They clearly played favors.

I've got two in private but thinking about putting the older one in AAP in two years. I never imagined he would think his brother was getting something special because he's in private school. I think it's all how you present it. If you think private is better, the kids will pickup on it.

You truly have no way of knowing whether the younger child "needs" private school at this age. Making a decision to send one to private and another to public based on what is right for each of them is fine, but not if you ultimately can't afford to send the second child if a need arises in the future. Sounds like you are sending one to private based on need, and keeping one in public based on affordability. This is a risky decision.

OP You say that this is a financial stretch for you? I would avoid private if possible. Once you start, it is hard to go back, for many reasons. When you add up the cost of 12 years of private, it is enough to buy many tutors. You have FA now, but what about in the future?

My family did this in high school but I was given the choice to go to private. I would have been really hurt if I heard "my brother" needed private and I didn't. Choice is all the difference. I would have also been bothered if this happened when we were young. There is a huge difference in private/vs public. There is and esp with how privates nurture kids. It is more compassionate and they know your kid better before it is smaller. I would find a smaller and cheaper private and put both kids. Some Catholic schools are smaller and some Christians too are smaller and less expensive. If you are thinking of sending one to a Sidwell and one to the local, then you are really deluding yourself that this will not matter to them. I think a lot of parents are clueless.

I would post this in special needs- they may have some suggestions for your child to help her succeed in public school.

I wouldn't make a huge financial sacrifice on the chance that small class size may be the answer. It sounds like you need more definitive testing and a plan.

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, each child is different and they have different needs. The child with possible learning disabilities will need the smaller class size provided at the private school and the other one may thrive in public.

I have two kids in private and one in public. There has never been any jealousy or rivalry and they are all very close.

It really depends on how you communicate with your children. Let them know you always do what's best for them.

I've told my child in public she's doing an amazing job in public and doesn't need private school. Whereas my other two need more structure.

They are perfectly content all these years and I'm sure your kids will be too.

Good luck.

I wonder if you ask the kids what their perception of all this is. We only hearing from parents who insist everything is fine with the public private set up. It seems to me there are issues when a child has to be told they can't go to private bc they're doing just fine in public. If the kid was ok on being in public on their own, why does this even come up for discussion? So the parent is reinforcing their belief that the kid is ok in public but the child may think differently. I knew 3 siblings where only the son went to private and the 2 daughters went to public. The son that went to private went on to Duke and later a successful career at PWC. The daughters that went to public blame their parents for their lack of academic success on being in an overcrowded public highschool. So for every family that claims there are no issues with this type of arrangement there is also one that has sibling issues. For the OP, I would stay in public given your tight financial situation. Try to find other solutions for helping your daughter.

The way I see it, each child is different and they have different needs. The child with possible learning disabilities will need the smaller class size provided at the private school and the other one may thrive in public.

I have two kids in private and one in public. There has never been any jealousy or rivalry and they are all very close.

It really depends on how you communicate with your children. Let them know you always do what's best for them.

I've told my child in public she's doing an amazing job in public and doesn't need private school. Whereas my other two need more structure.

They are perfectly content all these years and I'm sure your kids will be too.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:We have two daughters--one in K and one who will be entering K this fall. Our current K is struggling tremendously and likely has learning disabilities but is borderline and no one quite knows what she has yet despite extensive testing. She is also extremely socially anxious and doesn't do well wiht the large class size. So FCPS has not been working in her favor this year and she has been lost in the shuffle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of things does the private school do to find and support special needs? In the public school, you can ask for an evaluation to be done by the school. In private (and most likely eventually in public), you will need to do a private evaluation which can cost ~$3,000+.

I would first get her evaluated to see what are the challenges and then figure out if the private school would be able to handle them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The private school has small class sizes. That is all that my DD needs at this point. She's quiet and needs attention that she is not getting at the disgusting mess of a FCPS school. She's been tested privately and by FCPS--and both have reached the conclusion that there is something not clicking but they dont' know what it is because she is too young.

Also, it's true that we have no idea if the younger DD doesn't have a learning disability but what is true is that she functions well socially and retains information like a sponge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you believe your older D's school is "disgusting mess of a school", why on earth would you send your second child there?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because that is where we live and that is what we can afford. The school is fine--just completely overcrowded and run down but is otherwise a well regarded school -- even by DCUM standards. There are 29 kids in my DDs K class and the AC barely works. That might be fine for a socially well adjusted kid but my DD is not only very socially anxious, she is not learning on pace with everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:What did the school say when you submitted the Multi-purpose Referral Form?

Nothing. Should they have said something?

Yes, they should have said something.

I suggest you make use of the resources at the FCPS Parent Resource Center.

http://www.fcps.edu/dss/osp/prc/index.shtml

The Parent Handbook might be a good start:
http://www.fcps.edu/dss/sei/Handbook/index.shtml

We had one in public (now in college) and one in private (still there) because one of our kids really needed small classes. They are closer as a result. Our older son commented that his younger brother became easier to deal with when he switched to private because he was much happier and more successful (and therefore more confident). I know this seems so hard OP, but nothing is permanent and you can always switch back if it doesn't work the way you want it to. I don't think having kids in different schools is an issue. I know tons of people who do it. Good luck and hang in there !!

We have one in kid in private (with FA), and one in public. It is still financially tough for us, but it works great for kids. No rivalry.

Anonymous wrote:I would say ignore people who say it does not matter. They are deluding themselves. Private has more stuff and kids know that esp as they get older. It is one thingbif a child has a serious learning disability but you are not saying this. Every child benefits from smaller classes so I really hate the "my one child will benefit" because they all do.

"Private has more stuff", unless you have a math and science kid. Then not so much. BTDT.

I would say ignore people who say it does not matter. They are deluding themselves. Private has more stuff and kids know that esp as they get older. It is one thingbif a child has a serious learning disability but you are not saying this. Every child benefits from smaller classes so I really hate the "my one child will benefit" because they all do.

Anonymous wrote:We have one child in private and one child in public, for just the reasons you mention. It's a PITA logistically for me, but there's no jealousy on the part of the kids. We frequently talk about how each child goes to the school that is right for them. If anything, my private school kid is jealous of my public school kid's neighborhood friends.

Fair does not mean equal. Not in schools and not in anything else. That's an important concept for kids to understand.

THIS. Put each child in the school that is right for them. Frankly having him in the same school for logistical reasons is unfair, especially to the child that needs more help. I do have a dog in this fight, as I have one child in public and one in private. DS has never seen the inside of a public school because it wasn't the right environment for him. The one in public with thriving until this year. We are pulling her out putting her in a different private school. There has never been any issues of sibling rivalry when it comes to school issues. As a matter of fact they enjoy going to each other schools and meeting the kids for social events. Fwiw, they are also just one grade apart.

OP: Do what you think it's best for each child and your family! Ignore all the posts about jealousy between siblings etc etc. They are assuming that ALL private is better than public and that's simply not true in this area. I have my kids in two different schools because each school offers something great to each child and they are both now in HS. And let me tell you, the top students in HS were mostly coming from area public schools!