Anonymous
Post 05/01/2016 16:51     Subject: Sending a Mother's Day card?
I would advise against sending a Mother's Day card---even a Mother at Heart card. Although you have the best intentions at hand, I imagine it might feel like a slap in the face to your friend.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2016 15:32     Subject: Sending a Mother's Day card?
Anonymous wrote:Not sure why but I find it odd there are so many posts from friends trying to be good friends of us (sad pathetic I guess?) infertiles on this board. They spend that much time stalking infertility boards? It's just weird to me for some reason.


OP here. I don't read ("stalk") this board. Not because it's "pathetic" or "sad" but because it doesn't apply to me. I don't read the "special parenting concerns" board either, or the "Maryland school" board for the same reason. They don't have the info I need.

My question didn't make sense on the general parenting board. It made sense here, and I am so thankful for the answers and insight.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2016 11:28     Subject: Sending a Mother's Day card?
Anonymous wrote:Not sure why but I find it odd there are so many posts from friends trying to be good friends of us (sad pathetic I guess?) infertiles on this board. They spend that much time stalking infertility boards? It's just weird to me for some reason.


I'm guessing they read the other boards on dcum and that's how they know about this one. I actually appreciate people asking questions like this.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2016 23:07     Subject: Sending a Mother's Day card?
Not sure why but I find it odd there are so many posts from friends trying to be good friends of us (sad pathetic I guess?) infertiles on this board. They spend that much time stalking infertility boards? It's just weird to me for some reason.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2016 18:34     Subject: Re:Sending a Mother's Day card?
OP, you are a good friend. No mother's day card in this case! But go for dinner or brunch.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2016 12:53     Subject: Sending a Mother's Day card?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know it's heartbreaking for everyone. I'm sorry if that came off as insensitive.

I struggle with how I can be there for her and supportive without reminding her of anything.


Go out to brunch, or lunch, or grab a coffee, or for pedicures, or whatever you both might do together. And, unless she asks or brings it up, don't talk about kids or treatment plans. Just be there. Catch up on things in life that don't revolve around children or IF treatments.
Sometimes it was nice to get out with a friend without any reminders of what I didn't have, or what I was going through to get there.


+ a million. She's the same person she was before. What kind of stuff did you do then? One of the awful things about this experience is the tendency for the rest of life to come to a halt, for everything to revolve around infertility. I know this isn't true of everyone, but I almost feel like I've been in stasis for the last three years.