I do think it's slightly awkward when the cousins don't call the grandparents the same name. MIL always forgets which kids use which name and to me, she IS the name my kids call her, so it's weird when she refers to herself as something else. And when I was growing up we just called my grandfather "grandpa" but then some cousins were born and called him something else and it was, again, just slightly weird (interestingly, my grandpa is still alive and my kids now call him the name my cousins called him).

So in other words, OP, I get why it would occur to you to be put off by this... but don't worry about it. It really isn't a big deal. It's minor.

I'm not sure why a contingent on DCUM can't say this civilly and instead have to call OP crazy, etc.

My nephews all call my MIL "Nanny." Because my DS had a nanny when he started talking, my DH and I thought it was weird for him to call her that. So our kids call her Nanna. Everybody's happy. NBD

If they want to train their kid to call them Pamplemousse and Messerschmitt who cares?

Yes. Way, way too pushy.

Strange, OP. Why do you care?

Let it go. They aren't your kids. From personal experience I will tell you that whatever the new child or your SIL decide will probably quickly fall to the wayside. They will end up calling the grandparents what all the other grandkids do unless they never see them. And even then they might because the grandparents will be used to referring to each other that way around the kids.

My MIL chose some weirdo name for herself when her first grandchild was born. She didn't want to be seen as a grandma. I hated it but my husband hated it even more, so we call her "Grandma FirstName". She calls her husband "Papa" and we consider that a name for a dad, so we call him "Grandpa FirstName". Works fine.

I think SIL is cray for messing actively wanting her kid to mess up an existing tradition.

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you care?

My verbatim thought was: why the hell do you care??

Anonymous wrote:Please let me know if you think I am overreacting. My parents have six wonderful grandkids and are affectionately known as Grandma J and Papa. These names were given to them by the oldest grandchild, and the rest of the grandkids followed suit. However, my sister-in-law wants her kids to be able to call my parents whatever they choose - her son is a year and hasn't started talking yet. I think all the grandkids should refer to my parents by the same name. Am I being too pushy in thinking that?

Yes. You cannot control what other children call your parents...

Haha, you are crazy. How could this possibly matter?

You know what's really awful, OP? Even when you are the grandparent, you won't necesssarily be able to dictate that all your kids call you the same name. Getting over this disappointment now is practice.

So you want to dictate what kids that are not your own actually call their grandparents? Uh yeah you need to calm down. This isn't for you to have a say in.

Where's the Let It Go gif when you need it. For both involved parties. Honestly, SIL's position strikes me as more odd and needlessly confrontational than OP's. If all OP is doing is sitting around and thinking about this to herself, I have to admit, I'd probably be doing the same thing. Then I would let it go.