Anonymous wrote:who goes to college, but lives at home with her parents and if she is not in class, spends all of her time at home? (aka no friends, boyfriend, etc.)

I'd think that was 100% fine and that you, for judging her are a total loser.

If she were not my kid, I'd mind my own business.

I lived at home for most of my college years, but mostly was due to financial reasons. I also worked and volunteered a lot. Graduated with zero debt. Agree with a PP, in hindsight, this was a huge bonus and set me up for easier living down the road.

I do think that if she has a lot of free time, she should work, not just for financial reasons, but because there is value in having work experience, even if it is at a starbucks or retail. If I were hiring recent college grads, all things being equal, I would hire a grad that had any work experience vs none at all. Volunteering is also a valuable thing, for personal and professional reasons.

I would think that sounds exactly like me. I live at home and community college I worked and spent most of my time at home. I did have friends and would go out on occasion but I was and still am a homebody. Nothing weird nothing odd about me I preferred to be at home. I lived at home until I was married. I've now been happily married for 15 years.

Anonymous wrote:I would think her parents should have pushed her to live in a dorm and not live at home.

Why? Maybe they respect she's an introvert or maybe she has anxiety or depression OP doesn't know about. Maybe they can afford college because she's not paying for dorms. Maybe she had a bad experience in the dorm she was at and does not want to move into another...

Speculating on what could be going on is dumb. Let the kid be and let her parents make the best decisions for their child.

Is she on the spectrum?

Otherwise if I was her parents I would have her screened for anxiety or depression.

If this is just how she is and she is genuinely ok and/or happy with her life this way then there is nothing wrong.

FWIW I am very introverted but had a blast in college. Being introverted doesn't mean you hide in a house with no friends or social life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of kids who go to George Mason, say, live at home. The no friends part is deeply concerning, though.

True, but there plenty of clubs and other things that one can join.

Perhaps she has friends, and they're like her and so she only sees them on occasion (i.e., they're not blowing up her phone with Snapchats, etc)?

That is possible.

One thing colleges usually say is to find "friends" in a class that are in the same major as you, so as the years go by, you can try to take the same classes and therefore, form study groups.

I would think her parents should have pushed her to live in a dorm and not live at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of kids who go to George Mason, say, live at home. The no friends part is deeply concerning, though.

True, but there plenty of clubs and other things that one can join.

Perhaps she has friends, and they're like her and so she only sees them on occasion (i.e., they're not blowing up her phone with Snapchats, etc)?

Anonymous wrote:Lots of kids who go to George Mason, say, live at home. The no friends part is deeply concerning, though.

True, but there plenty of clubs and other things that one can join.

I actually wish I had done this. I hated the social aspect of college. I hated the parties, the drinking, and the noise. I made only a few friends but have kept them until now. I wish I had been confident enough to just change schools and do what I wanted to do, instead of worrying that I would have seemed "weird" or a failure for leaving my elite (but miserable) university. Good for OP's niece! She probably has friends, she just doesn't need to spend a ton of time with them (and how would one's aunt know that much about their friends anyway).

My DH chose a university close to home and lived with his parents all 4 years of college. (He is actually quite social, so it's a little different. But he never had the dorm experience.) I thought it was a bit of a shame until I realized he went to a private university and ended up with no loans because he lived at home and worked the whole time.

Lots of kids who go to George Madon, say, live at home. The no friends part is deeply concerning, though.

She's probably an introvert. My teen is an introvert. She's quite happy with her social life. If she used to be outgoing and switched to introversion, it would be concerning. She is who she is.

Anonymous wrote:I would wonder why she's not working. Its ok to be an introvert and a homebody but she should be working.

Why should she be working just because she's not in a dorm? She's still in college & has school work.