Anonymous wrote:She has issues and I would break up with her once I found out. There comes a point in your life where you need to grow up and she clearly hasn't.

+11000010011010

Lmao sounds like a horrible person. NOPE!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is attractive to him, and seems to have things together now, he'll probably be willing to overlook it. I think this is a case where men tend to be more forgiving.

+1 but if she were a man, women probably wouldn't be so forgiving. It would certainly be a deal breaker for me.

OP here. I would not be able to date a man who lived above his means and spent so recklessly that he could not pay his credit card bills. That would be a huge turn off for me if I found out.

I have been married for 10 years and sometimes complain how frugal DH is. I guess that is better since we have a ton of savings.

I almost dated a guy in a 20's. He went to Wharton, just moved to Manhattan. I thought it was a HUGE turn off that he could not drive. We went on a road trip and I had to drive because he didn't know how. At the same time, I have several girlfriends in NYC who just never learned to drive because they didn't have access to a car. That doesn't seem like it is as big of a deal. Definitely double standards.

The friend mentioned in the OP grew up in the suburbs and had a license. Her license was suspended so that is a different situation.

Anonymous wrote:If she is attractive to him, and seems to have things together now, he'll probably be willing to overlook it. I think this is a case where men tend to be more forgiving.

+1 but if she were a man, women probably wouldn't be so forgiving. It would certainly be a deal breaker for me.

She has issues and I would break up with her once I found out. There comes a point in your life where you need to grow up and she clearly hasn't.

Could be lots of things. I have known quite a few people who gave never learned to drive. City people (NYC, London, Paris) who just never felt the need.

Bad credit can result from many things too. Not just irresponsible financial behavior.

I would simply ask about it and then the real test is the honest answer. People who found themselves in trouble for legitimate reasons are far more likely to just own up to it . . . its the excuses and vagueness that would be more problematic. Everything else can be dealt with.

Of course, these are also harbingers of addiction. So keep an eye out.

Bipolar disorder? This spending pattern reminds me of this.

How long ago was this? Unsecured debt is removed from your credit in 7 years. Have her check in report for outdated things that can be disputed.

Now, she needs to pay whatever fine to reinstate her license.

Not necessarily a deadbeat.

I have awful credit and no license.
Awful credit because charged living expenses when husband lost his job.
No license because always live close to metro, and always had more time than money, so metro suits me.

I'm not trying to date so don't know if that's a problem or not, but I wouldn't call self a deadbeat and hope someone wouldn't write me off just because of that. If they do, so be it.

If she's hot, I'd date and sleep with her anyway. But marry her? No way -- not with that background and that drama. Her problems would become my problems. No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If her irresponsibility was limited to her 20s why does she have a suspended license in her 30s?

A fine that she has never paid to the DMV perhaps?

To the OP's question.....are the debts still on the credit report? Does the woman have a stable job?

Her credit is bad. I want to say it is 480. She tried to get an apartment but was denied. Her mom tried to cosign for her but the mom also has bad credit. Her uncle ultimately cosigned for her. For her last apartment, she had to pay 6 months upfront because of her bad credit and it was a sublease. Her mom asked all her relatives for money.

I'm surprised about her difficulty getting an apartment- did she previously run out on a lease or something? Even if you have bad credit you usually can get an apartment without s cosigner if you have good rental history and a job.

The apartment was never under her name. She lived with roommates or at home or at her boyfriend's.

I'm pretty laid back and I would probably run for the hills. Too much drama going on here.

If she had a good explanation for her problems, I might cut her some slack. Nobody's perfect, but those are definitely some red flags.

Wouldn't work for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If her irresponsibility was limited to her 20s why does she have a suspended license in her 30s?

A fine that she has never paid to the DMV perhaps?

To the OP's question.....are the debts still on the credit report? Does the woman have a stable job?

Her credit is bad. I want to say it is 480. She tried to get an apartment but was denied. Her mom tried to cosign for her but the mom also has bad credit. Her uncle ultimately cosigned for her. For her last apartment, she had to pay 6 months upfront because of her bad credit and it was a sublease. Her mom asked all her relatives for money.

I'm surprised about her difficulty getting an apartment- did she previously run out on a lease or something? Even if you have bad credit you usually can get an apartment without s cosigner if you have good rental history and a job.

The apartment was never under her name. She lived with roommates or at home or at her boyfriend's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If her irresponsibility was limited to her 20s why does she have a suspended license in her 30s?

A fine that she has never paid to the DMV perhaps?

To the OP's question.....are the debts still on the credit report? Does the woman have a stable job?

Her credit is bad. I want to say it is 480. She tried to get an apartment but was denied. Her mom tried to cosign for her but the mom also has bad credit. Her uncle ultimately cosigned for her. For her last apartment, she had to pay 6 months upfront because of her bad credit and it was a sublease. Her mom asked all her relatives for money.

I'm surprised about her difficulty getting an apartment- did she previously run out on a lease or something? Even if you have bad credit you usually can get an apartment without s cosigner if you have good rental history and a job.

Irresponsible and she won't change-run!