Anonymous wrote:Larla, I've noticed that you've had more time off than usual recently. Is this a temporary issue or will this be on-going? Is there anything I can do to make things better for you? I'd like to ensure that we can plan accordingly around your scheduling and resolve any issues if there are any.

No, no, no. Intrusive. Asks for medical details. Suppose this woman was in chemo? If you want to resolve issues, ask to resolve issues. Period.

No you can't ask. When I was undergoing fertility treatments (two different times and two different jobs), I gave my boss a heads up that I would have more than normal doctor's appointments in the coming weeks/months due to a non-life threatening medical issue. I put the last disclaimer since I didn't want them to worry. Not everyone does this, but they deserve their medical privacy.

If your employer differentiates between sick and annual leave, though, I think it's unethical (and likely a violation of company policy) to use medical issues as an excuse to interview.

Anonymous wrote:I have a direct report who all of a sudden has a bunch of doctor and dentist appointments. I get the sense she is interviewing and would like to know if that's the case, so we can try to address whatever is making her want to leave. But I don't want to pry or overstep any legal boundaries if she really does have a health condition requiring all this time away from work. What's OK to ask and what's not?

OP you know that's not okay. And she has every right to use her lunch or earned PTO for whatever she wants.

Yes, of course you want to know if she is interviewing as you don't want to be left holding the bag with no one to do the work....but please don't mask it as your being concerned about her health.

Why don't you just talk to her. Don't say anything about her appointments, instead just check in with her. Ask her how things are going and if she needs any help with projects etc.

Yep. I got legitimately sick (still am) and have now lost two jobs to having too many doctors appointments. It's not my fault they are only open during business hours.

When I had a whole slew of doctors appointments, I was because I was sick and it took forever to get a diagnosis. Which also sent me anxiety into overdrive, so in addition to multiple appointments for tests, reviewing test results, and adjusting medications, I was also seeing a therapist more than normal. I told my bosses I would have a bunch of appointments, used my sick time, and left it at that. As far as I was concerned, it was no one business but mine WHY the appointments were needed.

My bosses were less than supportive and I overheard one making a snippy remark about me being out "all the damn time."

I wasn't planning on job searching, but you can bet I started after that.

She's probably pregnant or pursuing fertility treatments and doesn't want to tell anyone for obvious reasons. If she's taking time off in accordance with company policy there's nothing you can do about that. If you really think that she's upset and looking to leave and you don't want to lose her, then phrase it as a conversation about are you satisfied working here, what kind of improvements would make your work life better, etc.

Meanwhile you should have an up to date job description, passwords, etc. etc so you are ready if she walks out the door. That's always true.

Larla, I've noticed that you've had more time off than usual recently. Is this a temporary issue or will this be on-going? Is there anything I can do to make things better for you? I'd like to ensure that we can plan accordingly around your scheduling and resolve any issues if there are any.