Anonymous wrote:Not much you can do about it now that they are 17/18 years old unless you plan on being controlling like a pp in this thread.

This is something that should have been developed when they were younger, being individuals vs " the twins"

All you can do now is be encouraging. Encourage them to each follow their goals and dreams even if it means doing something different from her sister..

You are making a lot of assumptions here. Whose to say she didn't encourage their individuality? I have always encouraged my identical twins to make their own decisions but 90% of the time they want the same thing. I'm not going to force them to make different choices. I think the PP right above me was right though to make sure they BOTH want the same thing and that one isn't just aquieseing. That, to me, is the hardest part.

I think what we see on this thread is that there is no one right way, other than that you must do what is best for your children. They are adults now, or soon to be, and their opinions are paramount. If they want to go to college together, and the colleges they are considering are places where both can get what they need and be happy (e.g., if one wants to be an engineer and the other wants to be a singer, sending them both to a music conservatory would be a bad idea no matter how much they want to be together; if one is a top-notch student and the other mediocre, it might not be in the better student's best interests to follow her sister to a school where she will not be challenged, etc), then it seems to me you must let them do what they want.

I would, however, make sure that this is what they BOTH want, and not that one wants it and the other is just going along with it. If I felt that it was the latter situation, I would gently but firmly steer them to different schools.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have twins but a friend does. Her twins are actually in different grades right now, one was held back. One is going off to college next year while the other will still be in high school. They are at different high schools currently and it seems will most likely be at different colleges as well. They are identical.

Just out of curiosity was it ever a problem for them having their twins in two separate grades?

Identical twin cousins went to same college.

Have them read "Fangirl" by Rainbow Rowell before they go.

I went to Bucknell, and there were a few sets of identical twins there with me. They still had different friend groups, so I often didn't even know for a while that an acquaintance had a twin.

Ask/require them to be on different freshman floors/halls, and it will all work out.

My friend pulled on of her twins out to a new high school in 9th grade on COSA and said it was the best thing she ever did for them.

I don't have twins but a friend does. Her twins are actually in different grades right now, one was held back. One is going off to college next year while the other will still be in high school. They are at different high schools currently and it seems will most likely be at different colleges as well. They are identical.

I have twins myself; they have twin uncles and I have several twin mom friends. (How did that happen?) anyway, the twin moms I know (they are twins, not they have twins) are very close. They live near each other and the cousins spend a lot of time together. They share vacations. In both cases, they went to different colleges and one is a lot more successful than the other. This was a big upset at the time. They are like sisters that way. My twin brothers, now 45, went to different colleges, because one is much more academic than the other. One also joined the military while the other was in college, so they have different life, different outlook. My twins are in MS. Their cousins went to the same colleges, and I hope they go to the same college, but you never know.

1) Encourage them to go to graduate school in fields like archaeology. They will never find jobs within 500 miles of each other.

2) Seriously, if they are professionally ambitious, this problem will solve itself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Identical twins are very different from fraternal twins. OP, let them choose to do what THEY want as individuals!

I'm a twin. Twins are different. Identical Twin sisters are even more different. Their bond is like nothing you will ever know first hand.

My aunt and her identical twin hate each other. Have since they were teens. Stop making up nonsense. Some siblings are close. Some aren't.

Very sad.

My twin sister is my best friend! We are individuals, and we are also twins. We share a very special bond. I'm very lucky!

Cool story bro

Anonymous wrote:Fyi, GWU offers a 50% tuition discount for enrolled siblings. The former president used to joke "Buy one, get one half off. Buy 2, get one free"

They are also the most expensive college in the United States.

Anonymous wrote:I would say let them be who they are, and have the level of closeness they want. I've known identical twins who fell at all points along the spectrum of togetherness vs separation. It's about their personalities. As long as they're not like this one set of twin sisters at my college, who always roomed together, had the same major, dressed alike, and only hung out with each other, which seemed pretty pathological, I wouldn't worry.

Don't judge

Anonymous wrote:OP it should be "my sister's and my relationship". The way to test the grammar is to ask yourself would you ever say "I relationship?" and the answer would be "no".

NP...

Go away asshat.

I would say let them be who they are, and have the level of closeness they want. I've known identical twins who fell at all points along the spectrum of togetherness vs separation. It's about their personalities. As long as they're not like this one set of twin sisters at my college, who always roomed together, had the same major, dressed alike, and only hung out with each other, which seemed pretty pathological, I wouldn't worry.

OP it should be "my sister's and my relationship". The way to test the grammar is to ask yourself would you ever say "I relationship?" and the answer would be "no".