Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 10:21     Subject: Re:DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Melania's appearance is definitely relevant and absolutely fair game. If it weren't for her looks we would never have heard of her.
Her profession and marriage are 100% a result of physical appearance. If you were critical about a friend or neighbor's looks or
judged everyone based on superficial traits, I would get his criticism but this is just silly. I am not imagining him wearing thick rimmed
glasses and a black turtle neck for some reason. He sounds very rigid.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 10:18     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
I think OP is freaked out that DH did find Melania attractive.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 10:17     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone here is defending OP's husband and chastising OP for being petty.

If you can't be a little bit petty with YOUR SPOUSE then when you can *gasp* let your guard down a little bit and *gaaaaasp* have some flaws?

Ridiculous.

And for the record, I don't find it petty to make a comment about Melania Trump's looks. Why? Because she her claim to fame is her looks, and Trump parades her around like some special prize.

So no, it's not petty if someone questions the validity of his "prize." Like "pff what is this guy bragging so hard about?" He brings it on himself. If he didn't, I doubt OP would have felt prompted to comment on her looks.

OP - The way your husband talked to you was not good for your relationship. You need to set some boundaries for yourself. Stick up for yourself.


This post sums up my feelings exactly. I think the negative posters either are projecting wildly, or don't have a close-knit relationship with their spouse.

OP, if this were a one-off, I wouldn't think much about it. But if your husband has a pattern of accusing you of character flaws based on insignificant comments not directed at him, you should talk to him very directly about this or consider therapy.



Therapy-shmerapy. Divorce.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 10:16     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Judging books by their covers is a character flaw. Trashing hot people is pathetic, really. You may say you are hot all you want, but actions will speak louder than words. People with healthy self-esteem don't engage in this nonsense. DH is right, you're "one of those people," and kudos to him for finding it unattractive.


Do you not watch the news? This is totally missing the point. Whether or not Trump's wife is hot is part of a political kerfulffle, as the OP already said. So she was responding to an ongoing ridiculous political moment in which one presidential candidate compared how hot his own wife is to how hot another candidate's wife is. I'm sure millions of people are saying the same thing (or were last week). So it's not judging a book by its cover or trashing hot people -- it's responding to a ridiculous and sad news story with a tiny little comment -- "I don't even agree that she's hot in the first place."

OP, don't let him ruffle you. Just calmly say to your DH, you are mistaken but if this kind of conversation/comment bothers you, I'll have it with someone else next time.


Why is it so damn important to you that some soviet bloc chick not be hot? Sour grapes, people, sour grapes


It's not important to me. that's why i wouldn't waste time comparing her to Ted Cruz's wife. And yet Trump did, so there you go. Conversation starter.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 10:15     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Judging books by their covers is a character flaw. Trashing hot people is pathetic, really. You may say you are hot all you want, but actions will speak louder than words. People with healthy self-esteem don't engage in this nonsense. DH is right, you're "one of those people," and kudos to him for finding it unattractive.


Do you not watch the news? This is totally missing the point. Whether or not Trump's wife is hot is part of a political kerfulffle, as the OP already said. So she was responding to an ongoing ridiculous political moment in which one presidential candidate compared how hot his own wife is to how hot another candidate's wife is. I'm sure millions of people are saying the same thing (or were last week). So it's not judging a book by its cover or trashing hot people -- it's responding to a ridiculous and sad news story with a tiny little comment -- "I don't even agree that she's hot in the first place."

OP, don't let him ruffle you. Just calmly say to your DH, you are mistaken but if this kind of conversation/comment bothers you, I'll have it with someone else next time.


Why is it so damn important to you that some soviet bloc chick not be hot? Sour grapes, people, sour grapes
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 10:11     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone here is defending OP's husband and chastising OP for being petty.

If you can't be a little bit petty with YOUR SPOUSE then when you can *gasp* let your guard down a little bit and *gaaaaasp* have some flaws?

Ridiculous.

And for the record, I don't find it petty to make a comment about Melania Trump's looks. Why? Because she her claim to fame is her looks, and Trump parades her around like some special prize.

So no, it's not petty if someone questions the validity of his "prize." Like "pff what is this guy bragging so hard about?" He brings it on himself. If he didn't, I doubt OP would have felt prompted to comment on her looks.

OP - The way your husband talked to you was not good for your relationship. You need to set some boundaries for yourself. Stick up for yourself.



Many people are *gasp* not petty sh*t heads. I know, incredible, right?
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 08:25     Subject: Re:DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:That would annoy me. My ex would analyze me like that and talk like he is so right. Annoying AF


+1. So glad I found someone better.

Op I doubt you can change him so I'd suggest you learn to cope
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 08:23     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone here is defending OP's husband and chastising OP for being petty.

If you can't be a little bit petty with YOUR SPOUSE then when you can *gasp* let your guard down a little bit and *gaaaaasp* have some flaws?

Ridiculous.

And for the record, I don't find it petty to make a comment about Melania Trump's looks. Why? Because she her claim to fame is her looks, and Trump parades her around like some special prize.

So no, it's not petty if someone questions the validity of his "prize." Like "pff what is this guy bragging so hard about?" He brings it on himself. If he didn't, I doubt OP would have felt prompted to comment on her looks.

OP - The way your husband talked to you was not good for your relationship. You need to set some boundaries for yourself. Stick up for yourself.


This post sums up my feelings exactly. I think the negative posters either are projecting wildly, or don't have a close-knit relationship with their spouse.

OP, if this were a one-off, I wouldn't think much about it. But if your husband has a pattern of accusing you of character flaws based on insignificant comments not directed at him, you should talk to him very directly about this or consider therapy.

Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 08:20     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Judging books by their covers is a character flaw. Trashing hot people is pathetic, really. You may say you are hot all you want, but actions will speak louder than words. People with healthy self-esteem don't engage in this nonsense. DH is right, you're "one of those people," and kudos to him for finding it unattractive.


Do you not watch the news? This is totally missing the point. Whether or not Trump's wife is hot is part of a political kerfulffle, as the OP already said. So she was responding to an ongoing ridiculous political moment in which one presidential candidate compared how hot his own wife is to how hot another candidate's wife is. I'm sure millions of people are saying the same thing (or were last week). So it's not judging a book by its cover or trashing hot people -- it's responding to a ridiculous and sad news story with a tiny little comment -- "I don't even agree that she's hot in the first place."

OP, don't let him ruffle you. Just calmly say to your DH, you are mistaken but if this kind of conversation/comment bothers you, I'll have it with someone else next time.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 08:17     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Saying she is not attractive it's denying the truth due to bias, shame on you
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 08:09     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Team OP here!
Calmly talk to your husband when you're not mad and let him know that you have good self-esteem and aren't insecure. Find out why he escalates things you say into global comments about your personality. It does make me wonder how the rest of your relationship is. Sounds like you might be finding each other annoying and need to break some patterns.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 07:55     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
I can't believe anyone here is defending OP's husband and chastising OP for being petty.

If you can't be a little bit petty with YOUR SPOUSE then when you can *gasp* let your guard down a little bit and *gaaaaasp* have some flaws?

Ridiculous.

And for the record, I don't find it petty to make a comment about Melania Trump's looks. Why? Because she her claim to fame is her looks, and Trump parades her around like some special prize.

So no, it's not petty if someone questions the validity of his "prize." Like "pff what is this guy bragging so hard about?" He brings it on himself. If he didn't, I doubt OP would have felt prompted to comment on her looks.

OP - The way your husband talked to you was not good for your relationship. You need to set some boundaries for yourself. Stick up for yourself.

Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 07:17     Subject: Re:DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:You both sound exhausting.

But since you're asking, I can't grasp why a "liberal" woman would insult a politician's wife's looks. Maybe your husband found it petty.


+1. I am tired from just reading about this argument over nothing.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 07:15     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Judging books by their covers is a character flaw. Trashing hot people is pathetic, really. You may say you are hot all you want, but actions will speak louder than words. People with healthy self-esteem don't engage in this nonsense. DH is right, you're "one of those people," and kudos to him for finding it unattractive.


So what's your excuse?
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2016 07:02     Subject: DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"
Yes. Judging books by their covers is a character flaw. Trashing hot people is pathetic, really. You may say you are hot all you want, but actions will speak louder than words. People with healthy self-esteem don't engage in this nonsense. DH is right, you're "one of those people," and kudos to him for finding it unattractive.