Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If executor is shady then petition the court to have them removed and appoint yourself or someone else. Note that if the court appoints an independant party the estate will have to pay them.

Independent or not, an executor has the right to be paid.

Exactly. I was the executor of my parent’s estate. I could have given myself a stipend/salary, but I chose not to. There is a limit (some percentage of estate), but the executor has this right.

Thank you. What if the executor claims that "assets were sold when parent was alive to pay for (for example) shopping habit, gambling habit, etc." The executor's claim is made up, but designed such that the executor gets to keep whatever he thinks is "his" (not really). The executor keeps saying that items are missing, stolen, given away, etc. - anything to NOT give me or our siblings one damn worthwhile thing. Maddening. We only wanted one or two items, small in the scheme of what dad had. Not to mention the money that executor stole.....

In other words, the executor has done nothing in good faith; the executor has only performed according to what they deem reasonable to let themselves grieve (and hoard) - without acknowledging anyone else, especially the deceased's wishes.

I am in the process of contacting (emailing) attorneys, and waiting to hear, but I am anxious, understandably.

Request bank records and an accounting of assets?

I will be the executor of my parents' estate. I imagine it will be something along the lines of "The will says you get this bucket and I get that bucket". For the stuff not covered, it will be a fight about who gets to leave with the least amount of crap or who has to take it to goodwill.

I love you mom, just not your damn dishes.

I honestly don't understand people who act this way. My mother has made me the executor of her estate, mainly because we live in the same state so it's easier. I can't imagine doing ANYTHING other than splitting things evenly between me and my siblings. The "stuff" does not matter to any of us. If my sister wants the cabinet in the dining room, great! Take it. If my brother wants the china, awesome! I can't think of a single thing in her house I'd want. Maybe keep a few things that remind me of her and sell/donate/trash the rest.

I just can't imagine fighting a sibling about this. At all. I guess I'm lucky my sibs aren't jerks?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cared for the decendent has no impact on the distribution of assets in an estate. That is based on the will.

Yes, but it may explain the actions of the executor.

Even if it explains the executor's actions, those actions remain a breach of fiduciary responsibility and are actionable. The executor's personal belief as to what is fair and just or right and wrong are irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:Who cared for the decendent has no impact on the distribution of assets in an estate. That is based on the will.

Yes, but it may explain the actions of the executor.

Who cared for the decendent has no impact on the distribution of assets in an estate. That is based on the will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think it is "unfair", you still have to decide whether the "benefit" of fighting the outcome in court exceeds the cost of doing so. Most likely, the costs will exceed the benefits, especially if you look at it in cold, rational terms rather than emotional ones.

If your siblings get "more" of your parents stuff than you think is "fair"... how much do you want to pay a lawyer to get your "fair share"?

OP here. I struggled for months about the relationship with the sibling, who is not acting much of a sibling, at all. The money is secondary, frankly. It is more the principal, at this point.

WHo cared for your dad in the end?

9:47 again.

Remember GIGO? garbage in garbage out? The attorney handling the estate gets info from POA's and executors in many cases.

Anonymous wrote:Beneficiaries (under a will or a trust) have the right to an accounting. How to enforce this right will vary from state to state, but if it is a will, probate court would be the most likely court to be able to issue the order.

Yes, you should seek counsel in the jurisdiction where the person died. They will be able to help. If it is a relatively small amount, you should be able to do it yourself. Since the right to an accounting is just that, a right, there is no real reason to have a lawyer do much other than get you started.

To be sure, if you don't think the accounting is proper when the results are in, you would be well-advised to get a lawyer to challenge it.

As a beneficiary the executor is legally obligated to furnish you with a will, any documents you need for tax purposes, an accounting. In some states there is inheritance tax and you get copies of all filed docs as a beneficiary. If you don't contact that state or a county register of wills.

If you get accountings or copies of filings and see errors send a letter detailing the errors to the attorney handling the estate if there is one. If not send it to the govt . Hopefully the atty will adjust and refile docs and do appropriate adjustments prior to submitting a final accounting to a register of wills. Probate is different in each state but basically follows the same pattern.

If any motor vehicles are involved get VIN numbers while you have access to the vehicles. Those numbers don't change and vehicles are subject to skullduggery IMHE on the part of an executor or POA. Remember executors can be paid fees- also who ever is POA and/or executor might mysteriously cause some records pertinent to distribution of assets to vanish. You need an attorney if you challenge an accounting [final] in probate court. Hopefully if the attorney handling the estate is honorable writing letters expressing your positions will ameliorate some of the dishonesty on the part of POA's or executors. But that attorney is representing the estate hence the executor. The executor might make decisions that really cheat you out of expnses [ie funeral] that should be reimbursed. The executor might include expenses not related to the estate and reimburse himself.

This is a case where you should ask for an accounting. The executor has a fiduciary responsibility and a court will simply order an accounting by a third party. There are costs, but if it isn't too complicated, they shouldn't be that big. And if wrong doing by the executor is shown, the executor will be charged those costs and removed.

Anonymous wrote:If you think it is "unfair", you still have to decide whether the "benefit" of fighting the outcome in court exceeds the cost of doing so. Most likely, the costs will exceed the benefits, especially if you look at it in cold, rational terms rather than emotional ones.

If your siblings get "more" of your parents stuff than you think is "fair"... how much do you want to pay a lawyer to get your "fair share"?

OP here. I struggled for months about the relationship with the sibling, who is not acting much of a sibling, at all. The money is secondary, frankly. It is more the principal, at this point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If executor is shady then petition the court to have them removed and appoint yourself or someone else. Note that if the court appoints an independant party the estate will have to pay them.

Independent or not, an executor has the right to be paid.

Exactly. I was the executor of my parent’s estate. I could have given myself a stipend/salary, but I chose not to. There is a limit (some percentage of estate), but the executor has this right.

Thank you. What if the executor claims that "assets were sold when parent was alive to pay for (for example) shopping habit, gambling habit, etc." The executor's claim is made up, but designed such that the executor gets to keep whatever he thinks is "his" (not really). The executor keeps saying that items are missing, stolen, given away, etc. - anything to NOT give me or our siblings one damn worthwhile thing. Maddening. We only wanted one or two items, small in the scheme of what dad had. Not to mention the money that executor stole.....

In other words, the executor has done nothing in good faith; the executor has only performed according to what they deem reasonable to let themselves grieve (and hoard) - without acknowledging anyone else, especially the deceased's wishes.

I am in the process of contacting (emailing) attorneys, and waiting to hear, but I am anxious, understandably.

If you think it is "unfair", you still have to decide whether the "benefit" of fighting the outcome in court exceeds the cost of doing so. Most likely, the costs will exceed the benefits, especially if you look at it in cold, rational terms rather than emotional ones.

If your siblings get "more" of your parents stuff than you think is "fair"... how much do you want to pay a lawyer to get your "fair share"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If executor is shady then petition the court to have them removed and appoint yourself or someone else. Note that if the court appoints an independant party the estate will have to pay them.

Independent or not, an executor has the right to be paid.

Exactly. I was the executor of my parent’s estate. I could have given myself a stipend/salary, but I chose not to. There is a limit (some percentage of estate), but the executor has this right.

Anonymous wrote:If executor is shady then petition the court to have them removed and appoint yourself or someone else. Note that if the court appoints an independant party the estate will have to pay them.

Independent or not, an executor has the right to be paid.