Anonymous wrote:The next time he says this take it seriously and take him to the ER. I know it's not what you or he would want but he is too depressed to accept the help he needs and if you don't do something radical you may regret it.

Just want to say, be very careful about committing or attempting to commit your child for a mental health hold/arrest. One of my friends went through that in her teens and it really destroyed her trust in her parents and she stopped telling them anything which meant she went without treatment for her severe depression for a very long time. You should absolutely take immediate action if the person is an imminent threat to themselves but it isn't a magic bullet and they are generally released quickly without long term treatment being put in place. The fact that he's letting you know he has these thoughts is huge and it's really important to keep that communication going.

I never said it worked itself out. She had big issues to deal with, which she did. When those got sorted out, they were sorted out.

Uh huh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD went through a phase like this. Turned out she was working through some very personal issues; she refused to talk to the therapist about it, but has sorted things out.

Not the OP. I'm glad that your daughter worked through her issues without a therapist -- but your posting seems to be saying to OP that what *her* son is going through is just a phase. That's the type of diagnosis you can only make in hindsight. Some teens' phases end in suicide. If OP's son is expressing suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, she needs to take that very seriously and get her son psychiatric help immediately. She can't rely on the comfort that "it's just a phase."

PP here. She refused to talk to a therapist, but she was brought to the hospital when she verbalized a plan. The issue she was dealing with was her friends starting to crush on boys, and she was oriented differently. Once she realized what was going on, came out, she has had no repercussions, and is happy again.

NP here - so it wasn't just a 'phase' and your DD didn't just work it out.

I never said it worked itself out. She had big issues to deal with, which she did. When those got sorted out, they were sorted out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD went through a phase like this. Turned out she was working through some very personal issues; she refused to talk to the therapist about it, but has sorted things out.

Not the OP. I'm glad that your daughter worked through her issues without a therapist -- but your posting seems to be saying to OP that what *her* son is going through is just a phase. That's the type of diagnosis you can only make in hindsight. Some teens' phases end in suicide. If OP's son is expressing suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, she needs to take that very seriously and get her son psychiatric help immediately. She can't rely on the comfort that "it's just a phase."

PP here. She refused to talk to a therapist, but she was brought to the hospital when she verbalized a plan. The issue she was dealing with was her friends starting to crush on boys, and she was oriented differently. Once she realized what was going on, came out, she has had no repercussions, and is happy again.

NP here - so it wasn't just a 'phase' and your DD didn't just work it out.

OP my high school son made similar comments. His pediatrician and therapist agreed he was having a major depressive episode and put him on medication. For the first two months he saw his pediatrician every week to make sure the meds were working properly. He is in a much better place, but we are constantly monitoring and checking.

This is a medical situation that I would classify as a life-threatening emergency- as would any doctor or therapist. Your child is 13 and you know about this condition. Therefore you are the only one who can get him the help he needs. A 13 year old doesn't get to make life or death decisions. That's your job. Call his therapist immediately. If that doesn't result in an on-the-spot plan of action and at the bare minimum same-day referral to a psychiatrist then you must get him to a hospital.

Let me repeat: this is a life-threatening medical emergency and YOU are responsible for getting him treatment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD went through a phase like this. Turned out she was working through some very personal issues; she refused to talk to the therapist about it, but has sorted things out.

Not the OP. I'm glad that your daughter worked through her issues without a therapist -- but your posting seems to be saying to OP that what *her* son is going through is just a phase. That's the type of diagnosis you can only make in hindsight. Some teens' phases end in suicide. If OP's son is expressing suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, she needs to take that very seriously and get her son psychiatric help immediately. She can't rely on the comfort that "it's just a phase."

PP here. She refused to talk to a therapist, but she was brought to the hospital when she verbalized a plan. The issue she was dealing with was her friends starting to crush on boys, and she was oriented differently. Once she realized what was going on, came out, she has had no repercussions, and is happy again.

Just need to echo the others here and urge you to take your son seriously when he says he is suicidal. The thought and the urge can turn quickly into an impulsive action, especially in a teenager. When he says he wants to kill himself, if you cannot get an immediate response from a mental health professional, then you need to be with him around the clock at home until he can be seen or take him to the hospital. And you need to come away from either with a treatment plan going forward, so your son can get well and heal from his suffering. Good luck, OP.

Op, my brother died by suicide. This is not about is good his life is. Your son has an illness that is sometimes lethal. He needs medical intervention and a safety plan.

You need to talk very frankly with him and say that you will not let him die from this illness. You will do anything in your power to keep him alive so that he can recover fully. Ask him if he is are tonight. Ask him if he has though of an actual plan. Make him promise that he will not hurt himself tonight. Tell him how much you love him and that you will never, never be better off without him. Get his dad to say the same.

The three of you need to see a psychiatrist together to come up with a treatment plan and a safety plan.

Do some googling about ketamine infusions as a short term treatment for suicidality. There are a lot of studies out of NIH, Yale, and other reputable facilities showing ketamine has 75-80% efficacy at putting depression into remission almost immediately. The effect is short term it it may just bridge him into when another antidepressant that takes longer to work can kick in.

Good luck. Stop at nothing. You are not overreacting.

Anonymous wrote:My DD went through a phase like this. Turned out she was working through some very personal issues; she refused to talk to the therapist about it, but has sorted things out.

How old is your DD? My brothers went through a phase like this and sorted things out as well. One killed himself when he was 20. The other made it to 28.

OP if it ever comes to it, and I hope it doesn't, but most counties have mobile crisis teams that will come to your house. Here is the one for Montgomery County, in case you live here.

http://www3.montgomerycountymd.gov/311/Solutions.aspx?SolutionId=1-4MTMW7

Anonymous wrote:My DD went through a phase like this. Turned out she was working through some very personal issues; she refused to talk to the therapist about it, but has sorted things out.

Not the OP. I'm glad that your daughter worked through her issues without a therapist -- but your posting seems to be saying to OP that what *her* son is going through is just a phase. That's the type of diagnosis you can only make in hindsight. Some teens' phases end in suicide. If OP's son is expressing suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, she needs to take that very seriously and get her son psychiatric help immediately. She can't rely on the comfort that "it's just a phase."

FYI, if you feel you cannot keep your son safe at home, by all means take him to the ER. However, there is not much help to be found there. If he is determined to be a risk, he will be admitted which is crucial. Otherwise, you will not get medication or likely even see a psychiatrist. The psych part of an ER is a pretty terrifying place for a young teen. I would get an URGENT appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible to help you assess the risk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to get him to a psychiatrist. You really do. Do whatever it takes. Take away all privileges and activities. You are the parent of a 13 year old -- it's not like he can drive himself away.

Mental illness has nothing to do with how "good" someone's life is or what real-world problems people have. It's biochemical -- it's an illness and it needs to be treated like an illness. You need to get him to a doctor, just as you would if he had cancer.

So you would take away privileges and activities for a child that has cancer?? Why should she punish him at all??

I think she meant take away the privileges until he will go to see the psychiatrist, when they are teens it's hard to "make" them do something. So I understand what this poster was saying.

Agree. I have posted before about having to force me teen to attend therapy and psychiatry appointments. No phone, no money, no internet, no rides unless he went to each and every appointment. It was a huge battle but critical.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to get him to a psychiatrist. You really do. Do whatever it takes. Take away all privileges and activities. You are the parent of a 13 year old -- it's not like he can drive himself away.

Mental illness has nothing to do with how "good" someone's life is or what real-world problems people have. It's biochemical -- it's an illness and it needs to be treated like an illness. You need to get him to a doctor, just as you would if he had cancer.

This, seriously. I've struggled with depression and it has pretty much nothing to do with how good my life is at any given moment. Depression lies, it tells you things are awful when they're not, that people don't love you when they do, that nothing will ever get better when it will. OP, you sound like you're looking for logical reasons for your son's depression and it just doesn't work like that.

Yes. Get him on medication. If my parents hadn't done that for me, I might not be here today.

Agree. This a decision you have to make as his parent. He's not old enough, educated enough or thinking clearly.