Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 16:15     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but most of the handwringing on this board over switching schools ends up being about a child going somewhere for PK and then switching for elementary, just as the rest of the country does when they switch from home or daycare to elementary school.


That's fair. I'm a middle school parent and my children have more than a few classmates who have been in 4-5 different schools by 6th grade. Those are the ones I'm thinking of.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 16:05     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Maybe, but most of the handwringing on this board over switching schools ends up being about a child going somewhere for PK and then switching for elementary, just as the rest of the country does when they switch from home or daycare to elementary school.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 15:57     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

I don't mean this in a mean way -- I can certainly see where you are coming from. But I would suggest that if you kind of like the charter you're accepting, don't pull your daughter out to go back to the neighborhood school. I worry that kind of change one year to the next will be tough on kids. it's like we're all shaving for percentages, and they're in the first grade, or PreK. We're also in a neighborhood dcps school that is good enough, not perfect, and decided NOT to play the lottery this time. I wish more people would settle for good enough and help make all schools great.


At some point you do start to put their education at risk. While all schools have to adhere to the common core standards not everyone gets to things in the same order or with the same depth -- especially if you're hopping from Montessori to traditional to expeditionary learning, for example.

There will be some gaps. Whether these are significant or not won't be known until later but moving a child from one school to another and discovering Larlo was behind in XYZ may not tell the whole story, since if Larlo had stayed put it would have been covered in October of the following year.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 15:36     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As long as you remember that it's just luck. The worst are parents who brag about the school that their kid is going to, like it's an accomplishment. We totally struck out two years running, but I'm really okay with that--we're happy with the PK program at our kid's daycare, confident that she is acquiring the skills she will need in kindergarten, and see no reason to begrudge someone else their good luck at getting a spot at a school they are excited about. Don't act like you're superior, or that you feel so sorry for your friends who didn't do so well, like their kids are screwed or something. The nicest thing you could say to people who wanted to get into the school you got into is to express regret that your kids won't be classmates and wish them luck in the next go-round.

People here are so obsessed about schools, when the fact is, most kids of people on these boards are already ahead of the game: they have a stable and safe home, and their parents are well-educated, read to them and talk to them, take them to libraries and museums, and value their education. Unless their school is unsafe or truly failing, they will be fine. People are freaking out about things on the margin.

Yes, I want my kid to get an excellent education, but I don't think that means she has to go to the perfect or "best" school.


My daughter won and got into a school that "white people like." It a nice school and it's dual language, but it also lacks some of the things that our neighborhood school has (plenty of room for specials, a separate gym so kids can have an active indoor recess when weather is bad, a stage. I feel really uncomfortable when friends/neighbors act like we are the luckiest family in the world, because a lot of the love for the charter/hate for the neighborhood school seems tied to the racial demographics of each. For me, accepting the lottery slot wasn't about the lottery school being the best school ever, it's just that this is our only chance to try the charter, while we can always go back to our neighborhood school. If we had equal access to both schools, I would probably start her at the neighborhood school.


I don't mean this in a mean way -- I can certainly see where you are coming from. But I would suggest that if you kind of like the charter you're accepting, don't pull your daughter out to go back to the neighborhood school. I worry that kind of change one year to the next will be tough on kids. it's like we're all shaving for percentages, and they're in the first grade, or PreK. We're also in a neighborhood dcps school that is good enough, not perfect, and decided NOT to play the lottery this time. I wish more people would settle for good enough and help make all schools great.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 09:42     Subject: Re:It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't sweat it - soon you won't be close friends any more, as you delve deeper and deeper into your HRCS clique. True story.


Pretty accurate. They will eventually find a solution they are happy with anyway so no need to throw them a pity party. Feel sad you won't see them regularly because you will eventually drift apart.


Sigh. This has been our experience also...And while we are in a non-HRCS school that we are very happy with, I still feel like these friends pity us, in a way. Which is a disappointment.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 07:32     Subject: Re:It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:Don't sweat it - soon you won't be close friends any more, as you delve deeper and deeper into your HRCS clique. True story.


Pretty accurate. They will eventually find a solution they are happy with anyway so no need to throw them a pity party. Feel sad you won't see them regularly because you will eventually drift apart.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 07:10     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:As long as you remember that it's just luck. The worst are parents who brag about the school that their kid is going to, like it's an accomplishment. We totally struck out two years running, but I'm really okay with that--we're happy with the PK program at our kid's daycare, confident that she is acquiring the skills she will need in kindergarten, and see no reason to begrudge someone else their good luck at getting a spot at a school they are excited about. Don't act like you're superior, or that you feel so sorry for your friends who didn't do so well, like their kids are screwed or something. The nicest thing you could say to people who wanted to get into the school you got into is to express regret that your kids won't be classmates and wish them luck in the next go-round.

People here are so obsessed about schools, when the fact is, most kids of people on these boards are already ahead of the game: they have a stable and safe home, and their parents are well-educated, read to them and talk to them, take them to libraries and museums, and value their education. Unless their school is unsafe or truly failing, they will be fine. People are freaking out about things on the margin.

Yes, I want my kid to get an excellent education, but I don't think that means she has to go to the perfect or "best" school.


My daughter won and got into a school that "white people like." It a nice school and it's dual language, but it also lacks some of the things that our neighborhood school has (plenty of room for specials, a separate gym so kids can have an active indoor recess when weather is bad, a stage. I feel really uncomfortable when friends/neighbors act like we are the luckiest family in the world, because a lot of the love for the charter/hate for the neighborhood school seems tied to the racial demographics of each. For me, accepting the lottery slot wasn't about the lottery school being the best school ever, it's just that this is our only chance to try the charter, while we can always go back to our neighborhood school. If we had equal access to both schools, I would probably start her at the neighborhood school.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2016 07:03     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:As long as you remember that it's just luck. The worst are parents who brag about the school that their kid is going to, like it's an accomplishment. We totally struck out two years running, but I'm really okay with that--we're happy with the PK program at our kid's daycare, confident that she is acquiring the skills she will need in kindergarten, and see no reason to begrudge someone else their good luck at getting a spot at a school they are excited about. Don't act like you're superior, or that you feel so sorry for your friends who didn't do so well, like their kids are screwed or something. The nicest thing you could say to people who wanted to get into the school you got into is to express regret that your kids won't be classmates and wish them luck in the next go-round.

People here are so obsessed about schools, when the fact is, most kids of people on these boards are already ahead of the game: they have a stable and safe home, and their parents are well-educated, read to them and talk to them, take them to libraries and museums, and value their education. Unless their school is unsafe or truly failing, they will be fine. People are freaking out about things on the margin.

Yes, I want my kid to get an excellent education, but I don't think that means she has to go to the perfect or "best" school.


This seems like excellent advice. I am a lottery "winner" and do sometimes not know how to talk with people who feel they "lost."
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2016 23:28     Subject: Re:It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Don't sweat it - soon you won't be close friends any more, as you delve deeper and deeper into your HRCS clique. True story.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2016 10:56     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
As long as you remember that it's just luck. The worst are parents who brag about the school that their kid is going to, like it's an accomplishment. We totally struck out two years running, but I'm really okay with that--we're happy with the PK program at our kid's daycare, confident that she is acquiring the skills she will need in kindergarten, and see no reason to begrudge someone else their good luck at getting a spot at a school they are excited about. Don't act like you're superior, or that you feel so sorry for your friends who didn't do so well, like their kids are screwed or something. The nicest thing you could say to people who wanted to get into the school you got into is to express regret that your kids won't be classmates and wish them luck in the next go-round.

People here are so obsessed about schools, when the fact is, most kids of people on these boards are already ahead of the game: they have a stable and safe home, and their parents are well-educated, read to them and talk to them, take them to libraries and museums, and value their education. Unless their school is unsafe or truly failing, they will be fine. People are freaking out about things on the margin.

Yes, I want my kid to get an excellent education, but I don't think that means she has to go to the perfect or "best" school.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2016 13:04     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I get what you mean. Just try not to talk about it to your friends who feel they haven't done well in the lottery.


We did not win at the MS level. I would hope that my friends would express their disappointment that our children won't be at the same school and that these long-term friendships will end since some (maybe us) will leave the DC area and would show some empathy and understanding that the situations could easily be reversed. I would also hope that they make an effort to continue to be in touch.


Where were you hoping to go?
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2016 11:44     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I get what you mean. Just try not to talk about it to your friends who feel they haven't done well in the lottery.


We did not win at the MS level. I would hope that my friends would express their disappointment that our children won't be at the same school and that these long-term friendships will end since some (maybe us) will leave the DC area and would show some empathy and understanding that the situations could easily be reversed. I would also hope that they make an effort to continue to be in touch.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2016 11:40     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
OP, I get what you mean. Just try not to talk about it to your friends who feel they haven't done well in the lottery.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2016 21:31     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
We wish more peopel would opt out of the lottery and go to their inboundary dcps and help improve them so they are at the level of the hrs. Our EOTP immersion school is great. Sad that so many prek families played the lottery just to spin the wheel.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2016 19:51     Subject: It sucks when you "win" and your friends don't.
No...being the lone friend who strikes out every year sucks.