Is he your fiance or are you just living with him?

Anonymous wrote:Don't marry him until this stops.

+1
Good that you're finding this out now, OP. What a pain in the ass he sounds like.

Anonymous wrote:He is a lovely man and that's why we are engaged but this is the one thing that I can't stand. He cares for me, he is loving, he cleans up after himself, and he doesn't leave the seat up, but his one flaw is constantly, abruptly waking me

This reminds me of all of those letters to Ask Carolyn. "Dear Carolyn, I'm married/engaged/dating to a wonderful person, but there is one thing that is a problem, namely that they [thing that, if you do it, you are not a wonderful person]."

If he keeps waking you up after you have explicitly told him not to, and explained why, then he is not a lovely man.

He is a lovely man and that's why we are engaged but this is the one thing that I can't stand. He cares for me, he is loving, he cleans up after himself, and he doesn't leave the seat up, but his one flaw is constantly, abruptly waking me

Really... Overly sensitive?

Leave a pad of paper on the table with a pen, or get a white board and ask him to use those. If it doesn't change then change boyfriends. This will get worse. Doesn't matter who is right or wrong in this situation; whether he's and insensitive jerk or your an overly sensitive drama llama, but the point is you don't match.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I just discussed this.

His take: this guy sounds like an asshole, why is she marrying him?

I have to agree this a much larger issue, especially if you have a chronic condition.

BTW, my husband knew pretty soon after we were dating that is was a no win situation if he woke me up with no reason and without a Starbucks and the New York Times.

I agree with all of this, right down to the no win situation for ANYONE if I get woken up. I don't even have a chronic illness and I will still raise hell if I get woken up for nonsense crap like OPs fiance is pulling.

I seriously can't wrap my head around this. If my fiance did this, I would make it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that he is NOT to do this ever again. If he did, I'd end the relationship. Not that it's worth ending the relationship over, but the blantant disregard for your wishes is.

As an old married - trust me, if stuff like this is driving you crazy now, you are going to be a raving lunatic by year 10.

My husband and I just discussed this.

His take: this guy sounds like an asshole, why is she marrying him?

I have to agree this a much larger issue, especially if you have a chronic condition.

BTW, my husband knew pretty soon after we were dating that is was a no win situation if he woke me up with no reason and without a Starbucks and the New York Times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the problem? He wants to let you know that he is leaving to walk the dog. I don't see anything wrong with that. If you are so unavailable to him then you should rethink getting married. Why do you take a two hour nap after work? Why don't you plow through and get a solid nights sleep and then wake up with your soon to be ex? It sounds like your chronic condition is broken sleep.

Then OP's fiance can wake you up to tell you that. OP does see something wrong with it, and OP is the person who is being woken up.

Op here, Fwiw if I leave the house to run errands or something when he is asleep, I text him on the way out. That way he wakes up to all the information instead of me forcing details through his groggy brain

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the problem? He wants to let you know that he is leaving to walk the dog. I don't see anything wrong with that. If you are so unavailable to him then you should rethink getting married. Why do you take a two hour nap after work? Why don't you plow through and get a solid nights sleep and then wake up with your soon to be ex? It sounds like your chronic condition is broken sleep.

Even a 10-yr-old would realize the best way to do this when someone is sleeping is to leave a note.

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the problem? He wants to let you know that he is leaving to walk the dog. I don't see anything wrong with that. If you are so unavailable to him then you should rethink getting married. Why do you take a two hour nap after work? Why don't you plow through and get a solid nights sleep and then wake up with your soon to be ex? It sounds like your chronic condition is broken sleep.

I told you why I take a nap. I cannot function any longer after my shifts. I need to rest. Sometimes it's not a nap but it is some time just lounging and not doing any hard thinking or processing.

Your fiancé is kind of a jerk. Sleep deprivation is a violation of the Geneva Convention. That's shitty behavior on his part.

Don't marry this man. This lack of respect is indicative of larger problems.

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the problem? He wants to let you know that he is leaving to walk the dog. I don't see anything wrong with that. If you are so unavailable to him then you should rethink getting married. Why do you take a two hour nap after work? Why don't you plow through and get a solid nights sleep and then wake up with your soon to be ex? It sounds like your chronic condition is broken sleep.

Then OP's fiance can wake you up to tell you that. OP does see something wrong with it, and OP is the person who is being woken up.