Anonymous wrote:My DS 15 does not have friends (he tells me he socializes during the school day) and likes to read, play computer games, and watch Netflix. His grades are good but not stellar, he does not have much drive to do more than the average academically. I have trouble getting him to leave the house.

He seems very happy though, and therapists have told me that he is fine. It kills me though that he is so isolated. I am out doing things all the time, as is DD. DS tells me that since I'm an extrovert I don't understand him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is like this. He seems to have friends at school, he mentions them occasionally, and one of them works at the same place as well. But we've never met any of them. They've never come to the house and I can count on one hand the number of times this school year he's gone out to meet any of them. He doesn't seem "close" with any if them. He's never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend for that matter).

He does well in school, but isn't having a "punishing" high school experience, at all. He is involved in one school activity that involves once a month meetings and he has a volunteer gig two afternoons a week and a part time job on Sunday afternoons. He goes for a 3 mile run (alone or with me) 3 times a week. Other than that, he's at home. He likes to read, follows politics and current events very closely (reads the NYT and the WaPo cover to cover each day), and enjoys cooking. No gaming. He helps out around the house quite a bit. He seems to really enjoy spending time with his family. He's a model kid in many ways. He seems very happy. I worry, lol.

I'm really hoping he finds his people in college. I worry about this a lot. In fact, it's the only thing I worry about with him. He has an incredibly solid head on his shoulders and is totally *ready* to go to college. I'm just so afraid he will be lonely.

Um how can I make sure my kid turns into yours when he's older? Sounds like such a cool person.

Anonymous wrote:My DS is like this. He seems to have friends at school, he mentions them occasionally, and one of them works at the same place as well. But we've never met any of them. They've never come to the house and I can count on one hand the number of times this school year he's gone out to meet any of them. He doesn't seem "close" with any if them. He's never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend for that matter).

He does well in school, but isn't having a "punishing" high school experience, at all. He is involved in one school activity that involves once a month meetings and he has a volunteer gig two afternoons a week and a part time job on Sunday afternoons. He goes for a 3 mile run (alone or with me) 3 times a week. Other than that, he's at home. He likes to read, follows politics and current events very closely (reads the NYT and the WaPo cover to cover each day), and enjoys cooking. No gaming. He helps out around the house quite a bit. He seems to really enjoy spending time with his family. He's a model kid in many ways. He seems very happy. I worry, lol.

I'm really hoping he finds his people in college. I worry about this a lot. In fact, it's the only thing I worry about with him. He has an incredibly solid head on his shoulders and is totally *ready* to go to college. I'm just so afraid he will be lonely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was like this. Just an introvert/loaner/didn't click with high school kids at my school. Turned out great . Spouse, kids, good profession, etc. Just had to find "my people," which I easily did in college

People who couldn't spell loner, loner?

Anonymous wrote:Hi, Op

Have you asked your kid if they are unhappy? I was that kid in that I was happy to go home and be with my family. I had a long commute to school and had friends at school but preferred to be by myself. Now I am an adult and I have friends that I have lunch/coffee/movies but I still like to be home with my family. If my child was unhappy I would try to help but if they are fine than I wouldn't worry!

Anonymous wrote:Opposite here - my brother had a tight group of neighborhood friends when he was growing up - all through high school they were the coolest super-clique. Everyone envied them. Girls would befriend me just to get near them. Then he moved away for college, had a huge emotional crisis and has never really had friends since high school! Now he's divorced and semi-retired, reads a lot, dines out alone, travels alone - over-sharing with anyone who comes near. But nobody hangs around for long because he's such a priggish bore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, Op

Have you asked your kid if they are unhappy? I was that kid in that I was happy to go home and be with my family. I had a long commute to school and had friends at school but preferred to be by myself. Now I am an adult and I have friends that I have lunch/coffee/movies but I still like to be home with my family. If my child was unhappy I would try to help but if they are fine than I wouldn't worry!

Thanks. (Not OP, but this is my kid). I sometimes struggle to remember that what makes me happy isn't what makes him happy.