My rule is a combination. 8:30 for my middles schooler, 9:30 for high school kid with idea that they can stay up in their rooms and read or whatever (no screens in rooms) until they fall asleep. Both stay away for an hour or so, but it's reading and no screens, so that's good and helps with the recommendation for no screens before bed. But, if they have sports practice or are at a movie or whatever, then they go to bed when they get home. Some weeks, they go to bed lots of nights on time and some are more hectic and lots of late nights. The regular nights are the ones that help kids make up for nights they are up later.

but, I find with both of my kids that each have small special needs, that you need to be consistent when there are no conflicts - so much easier to parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey people - this is not the special needs forum! Stop comparing apples to oranges.

You stop. She is welcome here anytime.

I didn't say she wasn't welcome but you can't compare a special needs bedtime issue with other kids sometimes.

I didn't want to post on SN forum because I'm a SN teacher and I know most of my students (who are anywhere from 16-21) have extremely early bedtimes. Like 7:00 or 8:00 each night. That's not gonna happen in my house.

Anonymous wrote:12:49 here. I have a couple kids with SN and that's one more reason why bedtimes don't vary significantly on the weekends. Our kids do better with routine and consistency. Why aren't you maintaining the routine on the weekends? You really haven't 'controlled' for sleep if bedtimes aren't consistent.

I guess you didn't really read what I wrote. I can't get him to listen to me and go to bed when he's supposed to. He doesn't care about the consequences I give him. He does whatever he wants. He's very smart and manipulative and has even cut his body up with a knife when I have turned off the Internet or taken away his electronics. I'd like for you to have to walk in my shoes for a day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey people - this is not the special needs forum! Stop comparing apples to oranges.

You stop. She is welcome here anytime.

I didn't say she wasn't welcome but you can't compare a special needs bedtime issue with other kids sometimes.

Sure you can. Most the time, parents of NT kids don't realize or want to admit that the issues are the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey people - this is not the special needs forum! Stop comparing apples to oranges.

You stop. She is welcome here anytime.

I didn't say she wasn't welcome but you can't compare a special needs bedtime issue with other kids sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:Hey people - this is not the special needs forum! Stop comparing apples to oranges.

You stop. She is welcome here anytime.

Hey people - this is not the special needs forum! Stop comparing apples to oranges.

12:49 here. I have a couple kids with SN and that's one more reason why bedtimes don't vary significantly on the weekends. Our kids do better with routine and consistency. Why aren't you maintaining the routine on the weekends? You really haven't 'controlled' for sleep if bedtimes aren't consistent.

OP here. I wasn't going to go into the details, but since some of you called me crazy, I'll give you some background. My DS has major mental illness. He is bipolar, on the spectrum, has terrible OCD and anxiety, and has been hospitalized several times in his short life. So while most of you can get your kids to listen to you, depending on my son's mood, I often cannot. I have put his internet on a schedule through the router so it turns off by a certain time every night, but if my DS is really pissed off or angry or depressed, he does not care about the consequences I give him.

I'm a high school teacher and talking to my students, my DS's bedtime is not that uncommon, according to my students. So I was really just asking other parents of teens to see how common/uncommon his bedtime is. I'm trying to figure out if his sleepiness is depression or a side effect of his medication.

Oh, and my DS doesn't get up until 8:00 on school days, so he is still getting 9 hours of sleep. According to a sleep specialist we just saw, the magic number for teens is 9 hours and 15 minutes. I think my DS would still be falling asleep during school even if he had those extra 15 minutes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 yo has an 8:00 bedtime. Yes, I can see your shocked expression. He may not actually fall asleep until 8:30 but he has to be up by 5:50 and if he goes to bed later, it's hard for him to get up. He also has to walk/feed the dog, get his breakfast, make his coffee and clean up his breakfast dishes. We'll let him stay up until 8:30 on weekends (although he may not fall asleep until 9:00) and he gets up on his own within an hour of his regular weekday wakeup time. Expound all you want on how unreasonable that it. It works for us. Good sleep hygiene is important to us. We've all got a lot on our plate and DH and I don't have time to mess around with kids who haven't had enough sleep or aren't getting themselves up in the morning.

I can understand the weekdays if he has to get up that early but 8:30pm on weekends? Doesn't he go out with friends, to the movies, to dances, watch movies? That is bizarre.

Of course if there's a special event he can stay up/out later. But this thread isn't about special occasion bedtimes. Does he go out every weekend? No, he doesn't. He goes, maybe, once a month. But, otherwise, we keep a regular bedtime even on weekends. As the PP noted, the research is conclusive about the importance of sleep. And, importantly, it works for us. Not sure why you think it's 'bizarre'. Once you get more life experience, you'll realize that just because people make different choices for their families than you do, it doesn't mean those choices are wrong or 'bizarre'.

ours is only 12, but will absolutely have a bedtime at 14.

Recent research shows that it's best for everyone (adults too) to go to bed at the same time every night. You do mess up your sleep rythms if you have a later bedtime on weekends.

I wouldn't enforce it too strictly. If there's a special reason for staying up late (sleepover, whatever) on one night that's fine. But I would discourage more than one late night in a weekend.

We moved our son's bedtime an hour earlier over the last year. We had moved it to 10 PM or so for lights out, just because he was taking a long time to fall asleep, and we felt sorry for him. But he was tired all the time, so we slowly moved it to light's out at 9:00. He still takes a long time to fall asleep, but he lives with it, and is much happier/healthier for the earlier bedtime.

Anonymous wrote:My 13 yo has an 8:00 bedtime. Yes, I can see your shocked expression. He may not actually fall asleep until 8:30 but he has to be up by 5:50 and if he goes to bed later, it's hard for him to get up. He also has to walk/feed the dog, get his breakfast, make his coffee and clean up his breakfast dishes. We'll let him stay up until 8:30 on weekends (although he may not fall asleep until 9:00) and he gets up on his own within an hour of his regular weekday wakeup time. Expound all you want on how unreasonable that it. It works for us. Good sleep hygiene is important to us. We've all got a lot on our plate and DH and I don't have time to mess around with kids who haven't had enough sleep or aren't getting themselves up in the morning.

I can understand the weekdays if he has to get up that early but 8:30pm on weekends? Doesn't he go out with friends, to the movies, to dances, watch movies? That is bizarre.

If you regulate the screens, it basically regulates the bedtime.

My 14yr old teen has to turn off devices by 10pm on weekdays and weekends I am more lax but by 11pm or so I say to plug them in. She is usually reading a book and asleep by 10:30-11pm on weeknights and by midnights on weekends. I let her sleep in on any weekend mornings she doesn't have to get up and sometimes she sleeps until noon. Weekdays she has to be up by 7am.

Anonymous wrote:On a school night, bedtime is 9, knowing that my 14 year old may not fall asleep right away. He has to walk at 6:40, so he needs rest. I usually enforce a 12:00am bedtime on the weekends. I'll let him self regulate during the later part of high school.

Same routine in our house.

My 13 yo has an 8:00 bedtime. Yes, I can see your shocked expression. He may not actually fall asleep until 8:30 but he has to be up by 5:50 and if he goes to bed later, it's hard for him to get up. He also has to walk/feed the dog, get his breakfast, make his coffee and clean up his breakfast dishes. We'll let him stay up until 8:30 on weekends (although he may not fall asleep until 9:00) and he gets up on his own within an hour of his regular weekday wakeup time. Expound all you want on how unreasonable that it. It works for us. Good sleep hygiene is important to us. We've all got a lot on our plate and DH and I don't have time to mess around with kids who haven't had enough sleep or aren't getting themselves up in the morning.