Anonymous wrote:Genuinely asking as I generally like my FIL and MIL, and the point of this question is to maintain our good relationship. Don't need to be told about your dead MIL and how you miss her, or reminded that I will be MIL someday. TIA.

Every time we see my ILs--every 6-8 weeks or so--they complain about our SUV. Because it's an SUV, it only fits DH and I up front, and the kids in their carseats in the back. MIL in particular insists EVERY time we see her that we get a minivan "so we can go places together as a family." We're not even out and about THAT much when they visit--we usually go to a park, maybe one restaurant, maybe church. And everything is pretty local, so we're talking a 10 minute car trip, tops, and they both know how to use navigation devices, so getting there is never a problem or the point.

She just wants "to spend more time with the kids" and FIL is always shaking his head that we are wasting gas by taking two vehicles. (And yet he doesn't see my point that it would waste MORE gas if I had to drive to work every day in a larger minivan that would consume more gas, and that getting a bigger, "gas-ier" car for the sole purpose of visitors would be overall wasteful.)

Bottom line, of course we're not getting a minivan for this purpose. No thanks, don't want to spend the money, or waste the gas, or drive something a lot clunkier just because you visit a few times a year!

So...do I just ignore this line of conversation? Respond to it with our points/decision each time? Or tell them once and for all "We are not getting a new vechicle to satisfy you, please do not bring this up again, we won't discuss it further?"

I know it's generally harmless, but it is EVERY time, and they honestly seem put out about the whole thing!

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PPs to address this by shifting who rides in what vehicles. Assume they are being honest that they want time with the kids and that there may also be another issue like discomfort with driving in your area, difficulty getting in and out of the SUV, etc. So you and DH just split up to drive the 2 vehicles.

if the SUV is big enough in anyway to fit 3 adults, ideally by putting one carseat in the middle, then just have DH take the SUV with the kids and his parents and you take the other vehicle - you could even leave earlier in the other vehicle to knock out an errand on the way to dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say: We can't really afford a minivan right now. As long as it's somewhat true. My MIL kept bugging me about something similar and after I said this she never mentioned it again.

OP here. That seems like an easy way out, but:
a) It's not true and I won't lie
b) She'll take that as an invitation to discuss our finances
c) She gossips in a "well meaning way" with and about family, and I'm sure word would get out that "Jim and Larla are struggling financially."

Anonymous wrote:I would say: We can't really afford a minivan right now. As long as it's somewhat true. My MIL kept bugging me about something similar and after I said this she never mentioned it again.