Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I leave at 3 everyday, and start at 8. I officially work (and get paid) only 80% time or whatever it works out to be. It hasn't hurt my advancement, though I sometimes take myself out of the running for projects if I know the intensity will be beyond what I want to do. But occasionally I'll take projects that mean I need to work all hours, and I'll do that. I probably do 2 or 3 of those a year, each one lasting 6 weeks or so. I also still travel and when I do I work more than full time. So I guess the answer is no, the leaving at 3 hasn't hurt me because I make it clear in other ways I am willing to work hard.


What do you do?

Not PP, but I have the same deal (though leave at 3:30). I work at a non-profit that keeps high quality people on measly salaries by offering a ton of flexibility. I've been working 86% time for the last 5 years, telecommuting most days, and just got a major promotion.

Right. You don't make much. For the corporate world, you simply can't leave a full time job at 3:30 daily.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

What hours does your DW work? Why can't she get in early and do the 3:30 pickup? I'd say pay a teenager hourly to watch the kids from 3:30 to 5:30 if you don't want to use aftercare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think facetime is that important. But 3:30 is WAY too early to leave. I still have a lot of meetings in the 4pm hour. I would be upset if my coworkers were all leaving that early. What about putting the kids in aftercare?

This is yet another reason it's ridiculous for the schools to have a significantly shorter day than working parents. Schools need to go until 4 or 4:30 to accommodate parents.

Will you listen to yourself? That is a long day for kids. Why not put an effort into changing the culture of these offices? Everyone is clamoring for "family friendly" but when it comes down to it they want to preserve work at all costs and make kids pay for it. Work should be the flexible one here. It can happen but everyone is to busy being suckers.

Depends on how much money you want to make. I could have boring, extremely family friendly job if I were willing to work for much less.

Depends on the type of career you have, how much you make and how far along you are in your career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It totally depends on the office. I work part time, leaving at 2;30 every day so that I can pick up the kids. My coworkers and bosses have been extremely supportive. I make sure to call in from home and check email when needed, but even that is pretty rare. And I received a promotion about six months ago and still get the assignments/projects that I should be getting.
That said, I worked for this group for 11 years before I went part time, so before I went part time, I'd already proven myself as a reliable member of the team who makes some key contributions.

Are you DW or DH?

I've found such arrangements more likely when the mom asks than the dad, from my experience, which is why I ask.

Anonymous wrote:It totally depends on the office. I work part time, leaving at 2;30 every day so that I can pick up the kids. My coworkers and bosses have been extremely supportive. I make sure to call in from home and check email when needed, but even that is pretty rare. And I received a promotion about six months ago and still get the assignments/projects that I should be getting.
That said, I worked for this group for 11 years before I went part time, so before I went part time, I'd already proven myself as a reliable member of the team who makes some key contributions.

Are you DW or DH?

It totally depends on the office. I work part time, leaving at 2;30 every day so that I can pick up the kids. My coworkers and bosses have been extremely supportive. I make sure to call in from home and check email when needed, but even that is pretty rare. And I received a promotion about six months ago and still get the assignments/projects that I should be getting.
That said, I worked for this group for 11 years before I went part time, so before I went part time, I'd already proven myself as a reliable member of the team who makes some key contributions.

Anonymous wrote:
I leave at 3 everyday, and start at 8. I officially work (and get paid) only 80% time or whatever it works out to be. It hasn't hurt my advancement, though I sometimes take myself out of the running for projects if I know the intensity will be beyond what I want to do. But occasionally I'll take projects that mean I need to work all hours, and I'll do that. I probably do 2 or 3 of those a year, each one lasting 6 weeks or so. I also still travel and when I do I work more than full time. So I guess the answer is no, the leaving at 3 hasn't hurt me because I make it clear in other ways I am willing to work hard.


What do you do?

Not PP, but I have the same deal (though leave at 3:30). I work at a non-profit that keeps high quality people on measly salaries by offering a ton of flexibility. I've been working 86% time for the last 5 years, telecommuting most days, and just got a major promotion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

It's not. tens of thousands of kids do this everyday. Some even to 6pm. Kids often beg to be able to continue playing with their friends even after you show up to pick them up.

Many kids beg to play video games all day and eat as many cookies as possible. I agree that unstructured play is great for kids development, but I think that may be pegging the needle to far away from time with the family, independent quiet time, and just rest. And I say this as working parents, who use aftercare everyday.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

It's not. tens of thousands of kids do this everyday. Some even to 6pm. Kids often beg to be able to continue playing with their friends even after you show up to pick them up.

OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

Totally depends on the office. My husband has a fairly flexible job and a lot of seniority, but there is no way he could leave at 3:30 every day no matter what time he got to the office in the morning. I could (and did) easily walk out at 3:00 every day. As long as I show up to meetings and complete my work on time, no one cares when I come or go. I am always available by email or text if I'm needed.

You need to use aftercare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think facetime is that important. But 3:30 is WAY too early to leave. I still have a lot of meetings in the 4pm hour. I would be upset if my coworkers were all leaving that early. What about putting the kids in aftercare?

This is yet another reason it's ridiculous for the schools to have a significantly shorter day than working parents. Schools need to go until 4 or 4:30 to accommodate parents.

Will you listen to yourself? That is a long day for kids. Why not put an effort into changing the culture of these offices? Everyone is clamoring for "family friendly" but when it comes down to it they want to preserve work at all costs and make kids pay for it. Work should be the flexible one here. It can happen but everyone is to busy being suckers.

In many offices you are talking about a HUGE culture change. In our office we are still trying to push for telecommuting one day per week for the highest execs in the office. Even that is shot down and the people in the office who try to push for more family friendly policies are seen pretty poorly by the boss. Unfortunately unless you are the biggest top guy in your firm, there's not a lot you can do to change the minds at the top. You do what you have to do.
That said I don't think it's the schools job to work around parents. If you have kids one of your jobs is to figure out how to support your family. Whether one stays home, one works part time, someone has a more flexible job, or you do after care, that's up to the family to work out.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think facetime is that important. But 3:30 is WAY too early to leave. I still have a lot of meetings in the 4pm hour. I would be upset if my coworkers were all leaving that early. What about putting the kids in aftercare?

This is yet another reason it's ridiculous for the schools to have a significantly shorter day than working parents. Schools need to go until 4 or 4:30 to accommodate parents.

Will you listen to yourself? That is a long day for kids. Why not put an effort into changing the culture of these offices? Everyone is clamoring for "family friendly" but when it comes down to it they want to preserve work at all costs and make kids pay for it. Work should be the flexible one here. It can happen but everyone is to busy being suckers.