Wow, your brother is a piece of work. Your poor SIL.
I'm not sure your mother needs to move to the US at her age, if health care will cost more here than where she lives. You need to think about that, if your brother has taken most of her money...

You should have power of attorney on all accounts, so that he can't get at it. She can sell or give away some of the things in her house, so that he won't take them.

Yeah, I echo the people who are telling you to have her moved to the US asap. Once my parents were in their late seventies, it was kind of too late to uproot them and move them closer to us -- they got very set in their ways and used to things a certain way. Try to move her closer to you if you can. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I am not selfish, I do not care about my moms money!! I have a job and my own condo and do not need assistance. My brother told my mom he would pay her back for the apt, if she bought it he would pay the mortgage. He never did. His wife's wages were about to get garnishes because of his back taxes and my brother begged my mom for the 100k because his wife was pregnant and threatening to divorce him.

I have not ever, not once asked my mom for a hand out. She is the one who is worried about her finances and not trusting my brother.

Thank you to the helpful people who have suggested power of attorney, my mom is looking into that.

OP, ignore the obvious troll. Time to lawyer up and get power of attorney NOW. Identify a good elder care lawyer in Australia and an immigration attorney here.

OP here- I am not selfish, I do not care about my moms money!! I have a job and my own condo and do not need assistance. My brother told my mom he would pay her back for the apt, if she bought it he would pay the mortgage. He never did. His wife's wages were about to get garnishes because of his back taxes and my brother begged my mom for the 100k because his wife was pregnant and threatening to divorce him.

I have not ever, not once asked my mom for a hand out. She is the one who is worried about her finances and not trusting my brother.

Thank you to the helpful people who have suggested power of attorney, my mom is looking into that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, executorship is when someone is dead, and actually, it probably will be a nightmare to do from abroad, if you are even allowed to under the rules of whatever country it is.

You all sound very dramatic. There's is nothing inherently evil about being in a "home", and as long as your mom is competent, she can decide where she lives. What she cannot do is try to force your brother to take her in, so if that was her plan, it's probably a good thing he told her his thinking now. If he's not repaying her money, she should stop lending it to him. She's a grown up. All the crying and carrying on is ridiculous.

You clearly have not dealt with elderly people. It's not that black and white re. being put in a home and/or lending money. Elderly become like children. You'll understand when your parents get there.

You are very presumptuous. I HAVE been there. OP, you are clearly jealous of your brother getting money which you think is your due. No 2 ways around it. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Your mom is giving away her money to your brother. He isn't taking it she is giving it to him. Why is she doing that? Is he maybe using the money to prepare this apartment for her to use in her old age?

That is a ton of money that she has been handing over to him btw. Can she explain why she is doing that?

Op here- Thank you for the advice. My brother manipulated my mom into buying him a $800k apt the first time she had cancer, and after her stroke he convinced her to pay off his back taxes to the tune of over $100k. I posted about a year ago about my sister in law finding out my brother was a liar re:money because she had no idea my mom paid for everything he has, she thought he was a hard worker. I guess he does work hard, at manipulating my mom!

My mom called me last night in tears, worried that my brother will take everything and asking what paintings I want etc. I told her I don't want her stuff, I want her!! She wants to try to move to the US and buy a house, so I can help her. The saddest thing is now thanks to my brother it's harder because she has much less money now also the Australian dollar is low compared to the USD. He's pilfered about 1.5 million dollars from my mom since she had her first cancer 7 years ago.

My mom was talking about bringing all the heirlooms here because she's worried I won't get anything. I do not care at all about the stuff but I'm worried about my mom living in a home and my brother just taking her money. She's not poor, but the way my brother 'works' her she will be left with nothing if he's in charge.

It keeps me up at night thinking about my mom being sick and my brother just taking her money. Thank you for the suggestion of power of attorney, we will look into that. I have my mom a deadline of April 1st to call a lawyer and if it's not done by then I'm going to find one for her.