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Anonymous wrote:No, but I don't get it. Doesn't rat race mean that you had a stressful well-paying job or something like that? Where's the money?
I'm poor but I'll help my boys to pay for college since I have nothing better to do with my income.

Op here. So what happened is we moved when DS was born and I have been unemployed for a year. We are in a lower cost of living area, but lower salaries too. However, the money I saved when working, I'd like to use to buy a house in cash. DH will continue to work FT, and I will try to find a PT job that can cover additional retirement contribution plus vacation/travel and college contributions. I feel like we could have a nice life with this arrangement.

No, but I don't get it. Doesn't rat race mean that you had a stressful well-paying job or something like that? Where's the money?
I'm poor but I'll help my boys to pay for college since I have nothing better to do with my income.

I don't think so. My parents paid for 1/2 of my higher education costs, and I was grateful.

Similar here. Got by with scholarships (undergrad) & loans (law) & work & parents helping out about 30-40% and was grateful too. My parents didn't live lavishly but didn't live frugally either. I don't really understand the absolute entitlement DCUMers seem to think children have to full college costs though. I can't imagine begrudging my parents vacations or a new car once in a while because I couldn't shoulder a good part of the load of *my own education*.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. My parents helped a little, but mostly I paid for college with loans. No regrets. My parents had modest salaries, paid the bills, and we went on vacation once a year. Had an amazing childhood and a great relationship with my parents. Not mad that they didn't save for me.

The difference between us is that your parents made "modest salaries", so you had no problem qualifying for financial aid. My parents made a so much that it was very difficult to find a way to get loans. Financial aid is income-sensitive. OP, please consider this.

PP you quoted. I actually didn't get a lot of aid. I paid $400/month for my loans. I'm not mad about it, it's just a fact of my life. My parents struggled a lot when we were growing up hence not being able to save. However they were making decent income by the time I was in college. Therefore not much aid but also no savings. I know my husband and I will probably be the same as right now we have 2 in daycare, expensive housing costs and are still working our way up in our careers. We really can't save now so it will be make up later or student loans

I never understood the parents that paid for private high school, but then had no money for their college.

No, of course, not. You have to do what you think is right.

You're really only a jerk if you did what my parents did. They spent my whole life 0-16 telling me that I could go anywhere I wanted and such. Once I was looking at schools, the truth comes out that there isn't a dime anywhere for my tuition.

It's about transparency. Don't lead your kids to think that there is this huge golden egg of $$ for them to go to college when really you will have to pay it out of pocket.

No, it doesn't make you a jerk. I paid my own way through undergrad and then grad school. I don't plan to pay for my children's college education either, although when the time comes I'll help them with expenses from time to time when needed.

I'm of the opinion that the value added to your child's life now (in time spent with you) could very well be worth more than you covering his entire college education.

My own parents were not able (due to circumstances, not choice) to pay for my education, but they helped me repay my student loans.

If you dI'd not save for your retirement from your very first salary, you are a bigger jerk.
To live below your means and save and invest for the future is personal finance 101.

I am sure most parents want the best for their children. We saved for college for our kids because that really Gives them and their children advantages in life
We do not live frugally or lavishly. We live within our means and that means Saving first for retirement, then for college and then living on what was left.

I think people do not know what lifestyle they can afford. Most think it is the money they make, but in reality it is the money that is left after they pay for all the necessities. Retirement and college savings should be seen as necessitites too.

We saved for 4 years of undergrad for each child. Since they did well and got full merit scholarships, that money will go towards their graduate school, first car, and maybe first townhouse or apartment.

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 40 and am looking to downsize our life and get out of the rat race with DH. We can put away about 50 percent of DS's need at a public university if we don't go full throttle on our careers. Does this make me a huge jerk?

Depends. If your DS can't come up with the other 50 percent because you earn to much for him to get loans and grants, then yes I would say you're being a selfish jerk.

Just know that the limit on student borrowing is $5500 freshman year, $6500 soph year, and $7500 each year after that, with a total limit of $31k. If your kid will need more than that to finance his/her half, you will have to cosign for it.

Also know that depending on your earnings and assets, your kid may not qualify for financial aid, no matter how little you have saved.

Half of college tuition is a whole helluva lot more money than it was when many of us were paying it.