OP -- do you remember the concept of someone walking along the desert sands and tripping over a tiny stone protrusion? And they keep digging and digging and by the fourth panel the little odd-shaped stone turns out to be the top of a giant buried pyramid?

That's sorta what is happening to you right now. This seems like a tiny stumbling thing, but it's indicative of a vast imbalance in your relationship with your mom.

I stumbled over the same thing with my mom about 4 years ago, and I'm still digging to uncover the full extent of it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are these moms narcissists? Borderline Personality Disorder? I've been told that I ruined her life and that she should have not had me. Most of my childhood she slept - all day, all night. All I can remember is her sleeping. And yes, she is very into everyone else's kids, just not mine. She does not want them in her house because they make noise, lol.

OP, I was just going to post that your mother sounds "off."

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are these moms narcissists? Borderline Personality Disorder? I've been told that I ruined her life and that she should have not had me. Most of my childhood she slept - all day, all night. All I can remember is her sleeping. And yes, she is very into everyone else's kids, just not mine. She does not want them in her house because they make noise, lol.

PP here with the shitty grandmother. Mine isn't a narcissist, but she is so insecure that it has morphed into much the same thing. She's a lot like a teenager, saying that she knows everything about everything and going to the mat on any argument. When she's faced with a situation where she's not an expert, like carrying for a baby for 15 minutes, she'd rather find a way not to do it than ask for help. She couldn't actually ask about the best way to give my kid a bottle so she just refused to try. She's also tremendously ADHD- to the point where it's debilitating. She's failed at so much because of it that it fuels her insecurity.

I had a mom like this. She is dead. I don't miss her.

You are never going to get what you want from her. Let it go and be happy.

Op stop putting yourself out there and expecting anything from her. It's time you move past your childhood. It's hard but she does not care. Limit your exposure and be happy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are these moms narcissists? Borderline Personality Disorder? I've been told that I ruined her life and that she should have not had me. Most of my childhood she slept - all day, all night. All I can remember is her sleeping. And yes, she is very into everyone else's kids, just not mine. She does not want them in her house because they make noise, lol.

Sounds like depression. Maybe she couldn't help it. She sounds like she's missed out on a lot. I'd feel sorry for her more than be angry at her.

Yes, I do feel sorry for her, but mostly because she is so invested in other people and what they have, who they know, their homes, where their children went to school, and what they did on vacation. It's sad.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are these moms narcissists? Borderline Personality Disorder? I've been told that I ruined her life and that she should have not had me. Most of my childhood she slept - all day, all night. All I can remember is her sleeping. And yes, she is very into everyone else's kids, just not mine. She does not want them in her house because they make noise, lol.

Sounds like depression. Maybe she couldn't help it. She sounds like she's missed out on a lot. I'd feel sorry for her more than be angry at her.