As PPs have suggested, there are perfectly legitimate reasons for three marriages. But the history of cheating is a major red flag. No way, jose.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he is being upfront and completely honest with you.

I say that is a very good thing in a man.

I would continue dating him.

Because you have no standards.

Sounds like he is being upfront and completely honest with you.

I say that is a very good thing in a man.

I would continue dating him.

Never get involved with a cheater. No excuse why he cheated. Aside from that, after 2 divorces that should be enough to tell you to be a little smarter.

Just date, don't marry him.

Anonymous wrote:First time his wife cheated on him. Second marriage he cheated on his wife. Thoughts?

What is there to think about. He's a loser. He actually told you he cheated....a bright bulb to boot, lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I'm old enough to know better.
Good advice. Thanks.

???

Really? Good advice? Aside from the silliness of asking advice from anon strangers, are you old enough to think for yourself? Frankly, I fail to see how others' experiences are predictive of your own.

OP here. Not, not really, but saying "good advice" was easy. It really should have read "interesting commentary, which is actually exactly what I wanted. No particular agenda. So ...

Go slowly but evaluate the person; don't go by a silly rule.

I have a friend on a third marriage who is awesome.

First marriage - he was a teenager and they got pregnant.

Second marriage - not sure about the details here but it lasted less than a year. He was less than 25 by the time this ended.

Third marriage - she died very young but they had a lovely marriage.

Fourth marriage - they're going on ten years together now. They took it very slowly but are very much in love and all the children involved were happy about the union. It is her first marriage, by the way.

People have pasts and there are no do-overs. Take it slowly but get to know this man and the ramifications his decisions may have on you (alimony, children, child support).

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I'm old enough to know better.
Good advice. Thanks.

???

Really? Good advice? Aside from the silliness of asking advice from anon strangers, are you old enough to think for yourself? Frankly, I fail to see how others' experiences are predictive of your own.

Just a note about some of these "rules" people like to toss out.

I have a good friend who is 49 and on his third wife.

1st was "starter marriage" - a bad idea between a 21 yo and a 19 yo - that resulted largely from a pregnancy.

2nd was a good marriage, but he became a widower due to breast cancer.

3rd marriage is going strong for 8 years now; his youngest is 4; oldest is 24 and he's about to be a grandpa (he is already a step-grandpa to 2nd wife's children's children).

I don't know how he has the energy and how he hasn't keeled over from a heart attack with all that stress, but he is a very good guy, an excellent father, grandfather, husband and son.

The particular details of relationship history matter. There are a lot of terrible, terrible commitment phobic daters/parters out there with 0 on the marriage odometer. The odometer isn't the best indicator.

OP here.
I'm old enough to know better.
Good advice. Thanks.

My dad has been about 15 years with his 3rd wife. He really did learn the error of his ways, I guess. My mom was equally to blame for the divorce (and their marriage was 30 years), and his first wife only lasted a year and that was when they were in college. Also there was a substantial gap in time between all wives, so it's not like he was just avoiding being alone.

So I would be cautious, but this can work out... I think it really depends on the circumstances.

Agree, nope.

Nope. My mother was a 3rd wife and he left her after 3 years. He's single now and 65.

Did he cheat with you?