Most people that I know who divorced took some time to get back in shape before starting to date again. My husband and I both lost 20 pounds that had crept on over the years.

I think it's worth it to get yourself to a place where you feel healthy and good about yourself. It is not about trying to look like a supermodel, but becoming your best self - interesting, healthy, a little fashion forward. Someone with confidence that you would want to date.

Online, people can be very cruel and judgmental about looks. (I feel like I look great, but I'm not doing online dating based on the experiences of some friends - would rather meet people out in the world.) If your looks are average and you are heavy, you are probably best off meeting people in person where they can get to know you.

^Or at least slim

I like my men to be ripped, so that's very important.
I just think men look so unattractive when big. Very womanly. And they feel soft and squishy, which is also feminine.

I am very athletic. I could only date someone who can keep up. My idea of a fun date is a hike up Old Rag Mountain.

Weight does no factor in, but very few heavy people are fit.

For me, not all that important. I wouldn't really want to date an obese woman or severely overweight, but face is much more important, and personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not in the game, but if I were then at first slimness (looks in general) would be important. Over time, as I found my footing again, they would become less important. I'd still always want a pretty face, but I'd be less and less worried about slimness. Significantly overweight -- obese -- would always be an issue though.

I'm in my 50s looking for women my age. Well just one, right? Weight is a thing, but also, they gotta care about how they look. That's more than just weight. If they're not trying - fat, old lady short hairdo, clothes, not smiling for the profile pic - I'm not going to care. So average weight is good; too-typical American overweight not good.

This is a good point. I'm sure that if you dress like Christina Hendricks, you will be more appealing than if you dress like the people of Walmart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thin doesn't matter. Being healthy does.

Bullshit. Looks matter when you're dating. You're deluding yourself.

Looks matter, but not everyone is into "slim." Give me a grizzly bear any day.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not in the game, but if I were then at first slimness (looks in general) would be important. Over time, as I found my footing again, they would become less important. I'd still always want a pretty face, but I'd be less and less worried about slimness. Significantly overweight -- obese -- would always be an issue though.

I'm in my 50s looking for women my age. Well just one, right? Weight is a thing, but also, they gotta care about how they look. That's more than just weight. If they're not trying - fat, old lady short hairdo, clothes, not smiling for the profile pic - I'm not going to care. So average weight is good; too-typical American overweight not good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im sure if you were willing to date an obese balding short poor divorced man you could find plenty of dates.

Nope those guys are looking for slim tall blonde rich chicks.

Vacuous helps too

Ask the guys who prefer thin women if they prefer one with mental and eating disorders but thin or a girl with no issues but overweight and youll know the answer.

What the heck is average? Either a person is fat and has more fat on their body or none and has an easily seem backbone. So what is average and acceptable? I have a big butt but smalller waist and I am short so even 5 pounds on meakes me look like I gained 20.

I'm a woman and lost about 15 pounds. Now i'm pretty fit and skinny. My OLD responses are probably up 10 TIMES what they were previously.

I think that if you manage to get a date with a great guy and show him that you're wonderful, it's okay to be a little overweight. But I've observed it's harder to get that first date if you're not thin.

I wish this wasn't true, but it is. I see it every day.

Thin doesn't matter. Being healthy does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being thin or slim seem so pointless. I'd rather have someone who's fit, in shape, and athletic.

That's nice, but these are euphemisms for thin or slim.

Not in my world - there's a total difference between someone who's slim and skinny, and someone who's strong and fit.

Eh? I am thin, strong and fit. These are not mutually exclusive.

Anonymous wrote:

Being thin or slim seem so pointless. I'd rather have someone who's fit, in shape, and athletic.

That's nice, but these are euphemisms for thin or slim.

Not in my world - there's a total difference between someone who's slim and skinny, and someone who's strong and fit.