Anonymous wrote:Wife and I love our family. They love us, and our new baby. They can't stop giving gifts. Not to be ungrateful, but it is mostly clothes that we dont need. Any recommendations on how to redirect their spending energy to either visiting more often or buying things from our wishlist? We dont want to be wasteful by taking on things that we dont need.

"Mom (Dad, Aunt Larla, Uncle Duke, Sis), we are drowning in stuff. I think we need to put a hold on more purchases for a while."

"But I want to do something."

Say: "Well, We have opened a 529 for Little Sue...." Or " A membership to the Baltimore Aquarium would be fabulous." Or " Little Myrtle would love to go to Gymboree with you every week, how about you give that to her for her half birthday." Or " You know what would really help us? Babysit twice a month and for the whole weekend once a year." Or "Little Lynn's X is coming up, why don't you buy her her outfit for that."

Or you just swap out an outfit for an outfit and a toy for a toy. Net stuff = zero. Donate donate donate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put my mom on the hunt. I was like "look, what we really need is about 5 t-shirts in such-and-such size for the summer. Larla is super into dinosaurs and butterflies right now, and her favorite colors are purple and green. Can you help us find these things?"

You are a smart lady.

OP try this and donate or pass onto friends.

I did the same thing!! Worked like a charm and my mother is happy and so am I! Win win!

Anonymous wrote:She loves to shop. She loves to look at baby clothes and feel them and buy them. She loves to wrap them and send them.
It's what she likes to do.

If you can just donate them and say she outgrew them, j do t see what the big deal is. With babies that is basically what happens to clothes you love too.

What you can't do well (and there have been a bunch of threads on this) is ask for something else without seeming ungrateful. Even a "please no more clothes, but we would love a college fund donation" is off putting and comes off rude even with the best intentions. See paragraph 1: she loves to shop and give gifts, she doesn't want to write a chela for a college fund.
I read into your post that you want to redirect the funds and you can do that unless asked.

+1 She is reliving the baby phase without the trouble of the baby. And it is just rude to say "and I donated most of it because it is just clutter to me"

Anonymous wrote:I put my mom on the hunt. I was like "look, what we really need is about 5 t-shirts in such-and-such size for the summer. Larla is super into dinosaurs and butterflies right now, and her favorite colors are purple and green. Can you help us find these things?"

You are a smart lady.

OP try this and donate or pass onto friends.

2 words: regift pile

I kept a ton of unused baby clothes that still had the tags on to give to friends for their baby showers. Yes, I know it's cheap, but seemed like the best solution.

How hard is it to donate this stuff? C'mon. Spread it around. We receive phone calls every week from Amvets, Children's Charities, and other organizations asking for clothing and other items.

Anonymous wrote:I put my mom on the hunt. I was like "look, what we really need is about 5 t-shirts in such-and-such size for the summer. Larla is super into dinosaurs and butterflies right now, and her favorite colors are purple and green. Can you help us find these things?"

I do this too. It works incredibly well. I call them Mom Missions. If you don't give her a mission, you get stuff you don't need.

I put my mom on the hunt. I was like "look, what we really need is about 5 t-shirts in such-and-such size for the summer. Larla is super into dinosaurs and butterflies right now, and her favorite colors are purple and green. Can you help us find these things?"

Anonymous wrote:Wife and I love our family. They love us, and our new baby. They can't stop giving gifts. Not to be ungrateful, but it is mostly clothes that we dont need. Any recommendations on how to redirect their spending energy to either visiting more often or buying things from our wishlist? We dont want to be wasteful by taking on things that we dont need.

Donate! Or take to a consignment shop.
In my experience, the # of gifts slows as the child grows older.

Good luck. I've been fighting this battle for 10 years with my family. They just buy too much stuff. I've begged them to just get 1 present per child. I tell them I will likely return most things. I say young kids appreciate the first gift they open, then they just get overwhelmed.

You just can't teach massive overconsumers not to overconsume.

This is what ThredUp is for. They don't pay much, but if things are new with tags it's not bad, and it's very easy to do.

Try to redirect them to more expensive things like shoes and winter jackets. My DD is an October birthday and my MIL always gets her a nice jacket, snow pants, mittens, hat, and boots, and I make a big show of thankfulness. Which is easy because I am actually thankful, that stuff is expensive. Also, ask for art supplies and stickers.

If you are talking about parents and siblings, the spouse related to the person in question (i.e. you handle your parents, she handles hers) should just thank them and tell them that you don't need any more clothes for the foreseeable future. If they want to instead buy you things you do want/need, they'll ask what you would like instead. I wouldn't couch it in "can you get us xyz instead" since that can seem like a present grab.

For extended family, I wouldn't bother with the conversation and would donate per PPs suggestions. IME, with extended family, there is a higher risk of them taking offense since the relationship isn't as close.

Anonymous wrote:
To the posters who tell OP to say nothing -

Wouldn't you prefer to buy something that's appreciated and used by the intended recipient, instead of benefiting other people you don't know?

Charity is all well and good, but we're talking about relatives who buy repeatedly for a specific baby. A one time unwanted gift, stay mum. Giving regularly stuff that's not wanted - well, you really have to say something.

I get it, but for an excited grandma, saying "no more cute bows and dresses, here are the diapers we want and a link to a nose Frieda" is not what a shopaholic grandma who loves her baby girl wants to be sent to the store for. There is fun and excitement in being a proud Grandma in Baby Gap and not so much in being a source of funds for butt paste and wipes

I want them to buy things I need so I wont have to.

She loves to shop. She loves to look at baby clothes and feel them and buy them. She loves to wrap them and send them.
It's what she likes to do.

If you can just donate them and say she outgrew them, j do t see what the big deal is. With babies that is basically what happens to clothes you love too.

What you can't do well (and there have been a bunch of threads on this) is ask for something else without seeming ungrateful. Even a "please no more clothes, but we would love a college fund donation" is off putting and comes off rude even with the best intentions. See paragraph 1: she loves to shop and give gifts, she doesn't want to write a chela for a college fund.
I read into your post that you want to redirect the funds and you can do that unless asked.