Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 23:18     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
I would send a card and a gift. But if someone did not send me one, I would not think it is a big deal and would not be hurt.
I don't think anyone in my extended family sent me any kind of graduation gift.
It's a really nice, thoughtful thing to do but does not seem compulsory to me or the height of rudeness to not do it.
I mean, when your son saw them, why didn't he just say, "So I graduated!" as he was chatting with them about what's going on in his life. Why was he waiting for them to verbally acknowledge it? They probably would have said congrats. Or maybe they don't think it's such a huge accomplishment. But I wouldn't see it as something to feel hurt over.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 14:05     Subject: Re:Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. For those who may be confused, I've always sent my nephews and nieces graduation cards and gifts, announcements or not. My husband has a brother who's estranged from the family and haven't seen his kids since they were little (3, 4, 6) and we still sent them a gift when they graduated (as well as birthday cards every year), just to let them know that we were thinking of them and to keep the communication open in case things ever change.

My question is about my husband's other brother and his brother's wife who did not send our son either a card or a present for graduation. This is the only other aunt and uncle my son has, so he was hurt that they didn't acknowledge his graduation AT ALL-not even verbally when we saw them next in person. My husband thinks this is ok, but it was genuinely hurtful to my son and I wondered if others wouldn't send a card or gift in the same circumstances. Thank you to those who answered the question I posed.


Your son was hurt by his uncle, so you are wondering whether or not you should hurt your nephew in retaliation?

Got it.


No, you don't "got it," lol. I was asking if people would do what BIL/SIL did. There is NO retaliation. Good grief.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 12:53     Subject: Re:Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. For those who may be confused, I've always sent my nephews and nieces graduation cards and gifts, announcements or not. My husband has a brother who's estranged from the family and haven't seen his kids since they were little (3, 4, 6) and we still sent them a gift when they graduated (as well as birthday cards every year), just to let them know that we were thinking of them and to keep the communication open in case things ever change.

My question is about my husband's other brother and his brother's wife who did not send our son either a card or a present for graduation. This is the only other aunt and uncle my son has, so he was hurt that they didn't acknowledge his graduation AT ALL-not even verbally when we saw them next in person. My husband thinks this is ok, but it was genuinely hurtful to my son and I wondered if others wouldn't send a card or gift in the same circumstances. Thank you to those who answered the question I posed.


Your son was hurt by his uncle, so you are wondering whether or not you should hurt your nephew in retaliation?

Got it.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 12:33     Subject: Re:Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
OP here. For those who may be confused, I've always sent my nephews and nieces graduation cards and gifts, announcements or not. My husband has a brother who's estranged from the family and haven't seen his kids since they were little (3, 4, 6) and we still sent them a gift when they graduated (as well as birthday cards every year), just to let them know that we were thinking of them and to keep the communication open in case things ever change.

My question is about my husband's other brother and his brother's wife who did not send our son either a card or a present for graduation. This is the only other aunt and uncle my son has, so he was hurt that they didn't acknowledge his graduation AT ALL-not even verbally when we saw them next in person. My husband thinks this is ok, but it was genuinely hurtful to my son and I wondered if others wouldn't send a card or gift in the same circumstances. Thank you to those who answered the question I posed.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 12:16     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:You're so gross, OP. Punish your nephew for BIL's behavior? Petty.


I don't think there's another nephew. OP is looking to feel justified in being angry that her BIL didn't send anything to his nephew, her DS.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 12:06     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
You're so gross, OP. Punish your nephew for BIL's behavior? Petty.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 11:46     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Of course. It's not a transaction! You either want to congratulate him, or you don't.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 11:45     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this even a question?


OP here-it's a question because my DH and I continue to disagree about his brother not acknowleging son's graduation. DH says it's no big deal; my son was very hurt. He was a great student in high school and has since gone on to college and is doing well.


Is the uncle married? I noticed that when my uncles got divorced that I no longer got birthday cards, shower gifts or graduation gifts. It's something their wives would have done, but men just don't seem to do. Not a big deal though.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 11:41     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this even a question?


OP here-it's a question because my DH and I continue to disagree about his brother not acknowleging son's graduation. DH says it's no big deal; my son was very hurt. He was a great student in high school and has since gone on to college and is doing well.


Good time for life lesson on what's important and what's not.

Send the card and gift of money.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2016 11:07     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this even a question?


OP here-it's a question because my DH and I continue to disagree about his brother not acknowleging son's graduation. DH says it's no big deal; my son was very hurt. He was a great student in high school and has since gone on to college and is doing well.


Well now you sound nuts. Your dh is right, this isn't a big deal. It's hard to imagine your DS cares about whether or not his uncle sent a card for his graduation. You sound like you're looking for something to be mad about.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2016 22:57     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this even a question?


OP here-it's a question because my DH and I continue to disagree about his brother not acknowleging son's graduation. DH says it's no big deal; my son was very hurt. He was a great student in high school and has since gone on to college and is doing well.


I'm not sure I would have even noticed that an Uncle failed to send me a graduation card. My parents did announcements and had a small party for me but I was a teenager, it didn't occur to me to keep tabs on who sent cards. I get that YOU care, but how did it come about that your son cares so much? Is there a back story?

Anyway, send the kid a gift. It's about the kid, not you and bil.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2016 19:05     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this even a question?


OP here-it's a question because my DH and I continue to disagree about his brother not acknowleging son's graduation. DH says it's no big deal; my son was very hurt. He was a great student in high school and has since gone on to college and is doing well.



You need to build a bridge and get over it.

My god lady!
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2016 10:53     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:Why is this even a question?


OP here-it's a question because my DH and I continue to disagree about his brother not acknowleging son's graduation. DH says it's no big deal; my son was very hurt. He was a great student in high school and has since gone on to college and is doing well.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2016 09:24     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
Anonymous wrote:I don't get why high school graduation is such a big deal. Isn't it the bare minimum required of a person in a civilized society? It's not a Nobel prize.


Well, no, not everyone graduates from high school. And even if it isn't a huge accomplishment, it's still kind of a rite of passage. And we celebrate rites of passage.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2016 01:22     Subject: Would You Send a Card and/or Gift?
I don't get why high school graduation is such a big deal. Isn't it the bare minimum required of a person in a civilized society? It's not a Nobel prize.