Anonymous wrote:I would ask to take down an unflattering photo. But I'd be ok if she posted just something about the baby.

Why are so many MILs such self-centered, attention-grabbing bitches?!

Why are so many dil's such thin-skinned, whiny, self-absorbed children--oh, and bitches, too. See how that works both ways. Seriously, ladies, you ate acting like children--and no I am not a mil or grandparent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to look at it from a different perspective and then let it go: your mother did not announce that YOU had a baby. She announced that SHE has a grandchild.

It might not seem different to you, but it is. Let her share her joy, and try not to be vain and worried that it is an unflattering picture of you. NOBODY cares, I promise.

In fact, nobody care about this announcement as much as you so I would not worry that she "scooped you."

+1
Let it go.

+2. I am constantly amazed at the things people chose to get miffed at.

You can approach it kindly, and that is what I recommend. "FIL, I know you were just excited about the baby, but we hadn't made any public announcements regarding the pregnancy yet. Again, I know you were just excited and we're not upset but in the future could you please.... Whatever you ideals and limitations are.... Thank you for understanding."

Ask her to take down the unflattering photo and replace with one of HER and the baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it was rude or a breach of etiquette for her to announce that she has a new grandchild. As an older parent, I see a lot of those all the time. I also don't think it's rude to post a photo of the baby. However it is rude to post a photo of the mother without consulting with her.

If you are going to confront her about anything, that's the only thing you really have a leg to stand on. You can tell her that you would prefer that she consult you before posting any photo of you on FB, since the photo that she posted was not flattering to you.

Ding, ding ding!! I think this is exactly right.

I agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

Um, yeah, no, it's up to the parents.

Every time you take pics of your parents do you ask their permission to post pics of them on facebook?

Pretty much, yes. I also know my parents well enough and their Facebook dynamics well enough to know what's ok. OP's mom clearly doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it was rude or a breach of etiquette for her to announce that she has a new grandchild. As an older parent, I see a lot of those all the time. I also don't think it's rude to post a photo of the baby. However it is rude to post a photo of the mother without consulting with her.

If you are going to confront her about anything, that's the only thing you really have a leg to stand on. You can tell her that you would prefer that she consult you before posting any photo of you on FB, since the photo that she posted was not flattering to you.

Ding, ding ding!! I think this is exactly right.

I would ask to take down an unflattering photo. But I'd be ok if she posted just something about the baby.

Why are so many MILs such self-centered, attention-grabbing bitches?!

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for the comments. Still trying to decide if this is worth saying something over. Due to personalities involved, there isn't a way to mention it casually, it will no doubt turn into a confrontation with hurt feelings. Husband is more than happy to say something, but that would spark more of a confrontation than if I said something.

This behavior (clueless re etiquette) is pretty typical and I don't see it changing. She didn't mean any harm, but she just doesn't think and it's all about her. I'm leaning toward not bothering to say anything.

OP, if it's not this, it will be something else. You need to get your mom used to the idea that you and DH are in charge of your child, not her. From your description, it sounds like that *needs* to happen, and sooner rather than later.

"Mom, I am disappointed that you didn't ask us before you posted about our baby's birth on Facebook, let alone posted a picture of me in the hospital without asking permission. I'm going to ask that you not post photos of the baby without checking in with me first."

<<<Mom gets upset>>>

"Mom, this is my child, and these decisions are ours to make. I need you to respect that. You may not like every decision we make for our child, but I need you to respect those decisions regardless."

I don't think it was rude or a breach of etiquette for her to announce that she has a new grandchild. As an older parent, I see a lot of those all the time. I also don't think it's rude to post a photo of the baby. However it is rude to post a photo of the mother without consulting with her.

If you are going to confront her about anything, that's the only thing you really have a leg to stand on. You can tell her that you would prefer that she consult you before posting any photo of you on FB, since the photo that she posted was not flattering to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

Um, yeah, no, it's up to the parents.

Every time you take pics of your parents do you ask their permission to post pics of them on facebook?

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

Um, yeah, no, it's up to the parents.

oh FFS - get over it.

There are going to be PLENTY of real things to get bothered about as a parent.

This isn't one.

FTM are so annoying.

Anonymous wrote:Try to look at it from a different perspective and then let it go: your mother did not announce that YOU had a baby. She announced that SHE has a grandchild.

It might not seem different to you, but it is. Let her share her joy, and try not to be vain and worried that it is an unflattering picture of you. NOBODY cares, I promise.

In fact, nobody care about this announcement as much as you so I would not worry that she "scooped you."

+1. I'm positive the rest of your friends and acquaintances are waiting on an announcement from YOU.

Anonymous wrote:Try to look at it from a different perspective and then let it go: your mother did not announce that YOU had a baby. She announced that SHE has a grandchild.

It might not seem different to you, but it is. Let her share her joy, and try not to be vain and worried that it is an unflattering picture of you. NOBODY cares, I promise.

In fact, nobody care about this announcement as much as you so I would not worry that she "scooped you."

+1
Let it go.