I think, like women, some do and some don't. The difference is that women are pressured more to believe they should have kids, so many women just grow up with the mindset they'll have kids without thinking about if hey truly want it.

My husband was take it or leave it - didn't feel strongly either way. (But I did.) However, he is an excellent father, super involved (SAHD) and once we had one he wanted more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 38 and pretty sure I don't want kids for a number of reasons (including minor health issues that would make caring for kids more difficult).

But I am trying to date after a long relationship and it just seems like the vast majority of men do want kids. The ones online do, anyway....

Sigh.

I think your best bet is to find one that already has children. That way he has satisfied that urge and may be happy to find a partner that doesn't want anymore. The good news is that you are entering the age range where that option is more likely.

My fiancé has no bio kids, but he continued parenting his former stepson after that divorce. I already have two kids and don't want more. We are content.

My XH definitely wanted kids. I was ambivalent. He even joked about sabotaging my birth control. I learned too late that he didn't intend to actual rear or financially support his kids. He is now engaged and undergoing fertility treatments with his fiancée. I think she's an idiot to see proof that he drops his seed and doesn't actually parent, but she is one of those women who believes her vajayjay is so special that she can change a pig into a prince. I just hope my kid reaches 18 before she kicks him out and goes to court for CS.

I would have never seriously dated or married a woman who didn't want kids. Some of these generalizations you women make about men are pretty funny.

Anonymous wrote:yes most men do.

Men are driven by enduring legacy - very few will be able to carve one out without children.

I and the guys I know have cared a great deal about keeping the wife happy, saving money or spending money on the house, and getting the kids that are here to and from soccer practice. The legacy is the wife and whatever kids she wants. Stop making crap up.

Most men want kids, but most of those men are married off by late 30s and the ones that still want kids at your age are probably looking for younger women. If you look for men 45 and up you will have better dating success.

Anonymous wrote:I am 38 and pretty sure I don't want kids for a number of reasons (including minor health issues that would make caring for kids more difficult).

But I am trying to date after a long relationship and it just seems like the vast majority of men do want kids. The ones online do, anyway....

Sigh.

I think your best bet is to find one that already has children. That way he has satisfied that urge and may be happy to find a partner that doesn't want anymore. The good news is that you are entering the age range where that option is more likely.

Anonymous wrote:Most men are indifferent. They don't really care one way or the other

I think men are indifferent in their 20's and 30's. If they haven't already had children by their 40's, they start to want them. However, the prime time for finding a life partner is in their 20's and 30's. Women are on a differnt timeline for obvious reasons.

I think most people want kids, but I have several married friends in their thirties and early forties who were open about the fact that they did not want kids, and they found a spouse that felt the same way. There are men out there who will agree with you, it'll just take time to find them.

OP you're falling into the dating trap of " most people want X"

How can I possible please them?

You don't need most people or in your case, most guys.

You need one guy who feels the same as you.


But, I don't think you mean most. I think you mean all the hot guy profiles who check off all the boxes for the"perfect man" you've been constructing since you were 21.

Don't do that to yourself. Set your searches only for men that don't want kids.


Keep looking your one guy is out there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men are indifferent. They don't really care one way or the other

I am a man. In my peer group, other men in there 40's and 50's, we all enjoy time with our kids. It is possible that 20somethings don't want kids, but 20somethings (and not millennials, but 20somethings of every generation) tend to be very selfish. In my 20's I did not want kids. In my 30's I wanted kids. It was called growing up.

Can we stop with this line of thought?

It's 2016 lets bury the idea that wantingkids/having kids makes you more of a grown up, more mature, not selfish etc.

If you are meh about it don't do it. Mostly because your relationship has a 50% chance of failure. Then you'll be a single dad or move onto blended family. Fun right !

Anonymous wrote:Most men are indifferent. They don't really care one way or the other

I am a man. In my peer group, other men in there 40's and 50's, we all enjoy time with our kids. It is possible that 20somethings don't want kids, but 20somethings (and not millennials, but 20somethings of every generation) tend to be very selfish. In my 20's I did not want kids. In my 30's I wanted kids. It was called growing up.

Most men are indifferent. They don't really care one way or the other

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm...I don't think most men "want" kids or don't want kids.

What do you mean?

Because of the reasons 23:58 stated.

I think they are indifferent. Not against having kids, but no problems not having kids unless the wife comes up with the idea or is attached to having kids.

I think very few men would have an issue with a woman who openly did not want children, where most women would not be okay with a man who openly never wanted children.

I think men say they want kids because they think it is what women want to hear.

Not for me. I always knew I wanted kids . Would have never married a woman not on the same page. I'd love to have a 3rd, but DW is done at 2.