Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher too but I did have to do this once. My child was going to another teacher for reading group and was terrified of the teacher. In a perfect world, I would have tried to discuss it with the teacher first. I just couldn't be certain that if I did it wouldn't have a more negative impact on my child. I guess it came down to my not trusting the teacher to be fair and kind. It was unfortunate, but I did what I felt was best. For what it's worth, this was in early elementary.

We had the same issue. Child was very afraid of the teacher and crying about it. You can't talk directly with the teacher about that, it's a managment issue and in our case the Principal handled it swiftly, lightly and very effectively.

We had this issue. My even-tempered kid was suddenly an anxious mess because of a disastrous classroom management strategy on the part of his teacher. The teacher was young and inexperienced, not to mention clearly defensive, and I basically didn't trust her to not make my kid's life harder because of it. So I went to the principal, who dealt with it without making my child the focus of attention.

OP here, thank you for the responses. Seems like most feel it could be a trust issue or one that is bigger than the teacher.
In my case I had written a note about a supply the child needed at school. The parent took the note directly to my principal stating that it had a negative tone. I have since shared my original note with a few colleagues/friends none of whom found it to be negative. The parent never communicates with me beyond the minimum (first day, special meetings, etc.). Full disclosure: the DC is very young, has challenging needs, but adores me. While these situations are par for the course when teaching, it can be disheartening when you work so hard.

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. Interested in a parent's perspective on why a parent would go past the teacher directly to a principal regarding an issue in the classroom/with the teacher?
Hoping to get perspective without specifics but will add more info if necessary.
What would motivate you to do this?

Past experience

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have kids in MS and HS and have had to do this twice-- but same teacher in 4th grade. The first time because I tried to work with the teacher on an issue for some period of time, and she was just not responsive. The second time was because DC brought home a book from her classroom library (property of Tacher X written on it). When I was flipping through it, I discovered that it contained graphic descriptions of group sex scenes. Honestly, I thought that was so beyond the pale that the administration should know.

ha ha very funny trollary.

PP on this and absolutely not a troll. It was a book about of Indian Folklore, which is probably how it ended up in the classroom library. She must have had it donated or got it at something like a library sale and not vetted it. But when I started reading it, there were descriptions of Indian mythological women having sex with two Gods that were so graphic it made me uncomfortable. And yes, I was livid and thought exposing 4th graders to this was something that warranted going over the teacher's head. Plus, DC had already read the book, so that made for an interesting conversation with my 10 year old.

Anonymous wrote:I have kids in MS and HS and have had to do this twice-- but same teacher in 4th grade. The first time because I tried to work with the teacher on an issue for some period of time, and she was just not responsive. The second time was because DC brought home a book from her classroom library (property of Tacher X written on it). When I was flipping through it, I discovered that it contained graphic descriptions of group sex scenes. Honestly, I thought that was so beyond the pale that the administration should know.

What was the book?

Anonymous wrote:I am considering going to the principal. The teacher appears to be targeting my child and has humiliated child inappropriately several times. Teacher is not approachable. I did approach teacher about the issue with my child, child attempted to self-advocate by asking teacher what he could do to improve and if teacher was angry with him about something. Teacher did not react well. Teacher barked at my child in front of me and we walked away.

I think that you should approach the teacher directly first, before you go to the principal. If nothing else, it will help you when you do go to the principal. As the PP said, the principal is the teacher's boss. If this were a workplace situation, and you had a problem with somebody, would you handle it by going straight to that person's supervisor?

Send the teacher an e-mail asking for a conference (without your child present). If the teacher doesn't respond, resend it with a cc to the principal.

Anonymous wrote:I am considering going to the principal. The teacher appears to be targeting my child and has humiliated child inappropriately several times. Teacher is not approachable. I did approach teacher about the issue with my child, child attempted to self-advocate by asking teacher what he could do to improve and if teacher was angry with him about something. Teacher did not react well. Teacher barked at my child in front of me and we walked away.

Stop considering, and do it. And be very kind t your child. That's a big deal to self-advocate and get slammed like that.

I would be gentle, though, and do your best to come off like a nice and approachable person. Remember the principal is the teacher's boss and that has all sorts of implications for how the teacher should handle a situation that involves some hearsay, but also perhaps some information you do not know about. Your goal is to fix this. And get your child's class moved.

Anonymous wrote:I am considering going to the principal. The teacher appears to be targeting my child and has humiliated child inappropriately several times. Teacher is not approachable. I did approach teacher about the issue with my child, child attempted to self-advocate by asking teacher what he could do to improve and if teacher was angry with him about something. Teacher did not react well. Teacher barked at my child in front of me and we walked away.

I find this VERY hard to believe.

Anonymous wrote:I have kids in MS and HS and have had to do this twice-- but same teacher in 4th grade. The first time because I tried to work with the teacher on an issue for some period of time, and she was just not responsive. The second time was because DC brought home a book from her classroom library (property of Tacher X written on it). When I was flipping through it, I discovered that it contained graphic descriptions of group sex scenes. Honestly, I thought that was so beyond the pale that the administration should know.

ha ha very funny trollary.

^^ property of Teacher X

I have kids in MS and HS and have had to do this twice-- but same teacher in 4th grade. The first time because I tried to work with the teacher on an issue for some period of time, and she was just not responsive. The second time was because DC brought home a book from her classroom library (property of Tacher X written on it). When I was flipping through it, I discovered that it contained graphic descriptions of group sex scenes. Honestly, I thought that was so beyond the pale that the administration should know.

I am considering going to the principal. The teacher appears to be targeting my child and has humiliated child inappropriately several times. Teacher is not approachable. I did approach teacher about the issue with my child, child attempted to self-advocate by asking teacher what he could do to improve and if teacher was angry with him about something. Teacher did not react well. Teacher barked at my child in front of me and we walked away.

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. Interested in a parent's perspective on why a parent would go past the teacher directly to a principal regarding an issue in the classroom/with the teacher?
Hoping to get perspective without specifics but will add more info if necessary.
What would motivate you to do this?

If many others have already tried and failed to get point across with teacher.

If the parent is good friends with the principal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a real issue with my child's teacher right now. I think it's a personality thing- and by that j mean my inability to deal with the fact that she doesn't do her job. Her communication is absolutely horrible- she communicates important information both late and incorrectly- and every interaction with her makes me, and the other parents, want to pull our hair out. I started going to her directly with concerns about communication issues but nothing changed. I hate being that mom, but if i say anything else I'm going right to the principal.

It's not her job to communicate with you! It's her job to teach the kids in her class

Teacher here. And, NO, it is ALSO her job to communicate w/ parents------a VERY important part of the job!!!

Didn't you read the thread, teacher? Its been discussed, beyond this point you're making. Catch up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a real issue with my child's teacher right now. I think it's a personality thing- and by that j mean my inability to deal with the fact that she doesn't do her job. Her communication is absolutely horrible- she communicates important information both late and incorrectly- and every interaction with her makes me, and the other parents, want to pull our hair out. I started going to her directly with concerns about communication issues but nothing changed. I hate being that mom, but if i say anything else I'm going right to the principal.

It's not her job to communicate with you! It's her job to teach the kids in her class

Teacher here. And, NO, it is ALSO her job to communicate w/ parents------a VERY important part of the job!!!