Anonymous wrote:My husband is 56. When he turned 25, it was my MIL's 25th anniversary of being a mom. I sent her flowers with some mushy note along the lines of "thank you for the gift you gave me 25 years ago today." I only did it the one time. She is still talking about what an awesome and sweet thing that was.

She probably has been wondering when it will happen again.

This reminds me of When Harry Met Sally. You've just described the "I never take anyone I'm in a relationship with to the airport scenario."

Once you start it, you better not stop!

Anonymous wrote:Dear lord, how stupid!

I agree 1,000,000 %

That is one of the dumbest things I have read on this site (and there are some pretty dumb things written on DCUM).

Anonymous wrote:I think it's cultural. In my culture I congratulate the parents on their even adult child's birthday.

Yep, I do it to too for my family members and close friends - congratulate parents (sometimes I even bring flowers). But we don't say "Thanks for giving birth", it's more like - Congrats to you on that big day - B-Day of your kid (or something along those lines, hard to translate properly)

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 56. When he turned 25, it was my MIL's 25th anniversary of being a mom. I sent her flowers with some mushy note along the lines of "thank you for the gift you gave me 25 years ago today." I only did it the one time. She is still talking about what an awesome and sweet thing that was.

I really like the wording of this PP's card to her MIL. Very nicely done and gracious.

I would feel rather icky writing "thanks for giving birth."

It's not the same thing but since today is my late grandmother's birthday....Every year after my grandmother died at a very ripe old age, I sent my mother flowers on my grandmother's birthday. It was just to remind both her and me what a lovely person her mother was. My mom, who died a few years ago, would never have pressured me about doing it or not doing it, though.

My husband is 56. When he turned 25, it was my MIL's 25th anniversary of being a mom. I sent her flowers with some mushy note along the lines of "thank you for the gift you gave me 25 years ago today." I only did it the one time. She is still talking about what an awesome and sweet thing that was.

Anonymous wrote:"Thanks for pushing my husband out of your vagina".

Jesus. My MIL would puke, as would any right-thinking person if their SIL or DIL tried to pull a stunt like this.

My MIL would laugh at me. She'd like the gift but think it was totally unnecessary.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's cultural. In my culture I congratulate the parents on their even adult child's birthday.

What culture is that?

If your intention is to bank some goodwill to draw from when you next get cranky, believe me, it won't work. If you want to express gratitude and build genuine goodwill, work on managing and pre-empting that crankiness. Grace under pressure.

Pyscho

I remember my MIL on Mother's Day and her birthday with flowers. Sounds like someone is trying too hard to be liked.

I think it's cultural. In my culture I congratulate the parents on their even adult child's birthday.

Dear God, don't go there. You will deeply regret it in years to come when you are handcuffed to this "tradition."

Anonymous wrote:Or why don't hou send her flowers when your baby is born with a "congratulations grandma" and a note about how happy you are to have her as the baby's grandma

This.

And yes, you'll be setting yourself up for failure if you send flowers once and then never again.

I think the sentiment has to be more of a 'thank you for having such a wonderful son, and raising him to be the man I am so lucky to call my husband." I have given my MIL a card with similar sentiment on Mother's Day, and meant it, but don't every year. If you're worried about it becoming expected, I agree with PP to send the flowers at a random time, maybe with a note saying you were just thinking about motherhood, and hope you'll be able to raise your child to be as wonderful as the son she raised, or something equally cheesy and heartfelt. I'd only do it if the sentiment is really heartfelt though. It may earn you some goodwill, but only if there is something genuine to it. Otherwise you just seem crazy.