Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the idea that you can 'have it all' is a myth. Pick your priorities. (signed WOH mom.)

Bingo. These two parents *have* picked their priority, and it ain't the child. Poor thing.

People have to work to make a living, you know.

Anonymous wrote:the idea that you can 'have it all' is a myth. Pick your priorities. (signed WOH mom.)

Bingo. These two parents *have* picked their priority, and it ain't the child. Poor thing.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - Technically 9-5ish; people tend to do 9-6ish plus availability at night. I'm usually in office around 830.

DH can't do pick up. He has no flexibility and works an hour a way. We are locked into a contract for at least 6 months for child care.

I'm thinking shift some hours and get a babysitter a few nights? So I'm not leaving early every day - just 2 out of 5. I just haven't learned the culture yet.

I hate this. I love my kid but childcare sucks.

And you still have it easy. Just wait until they go to real school! I hope you really like the new job, but it sounds like you have chosen the full-time nanny route.

Op here - Technically 9-5ish; people tend to do 9-6ish plus availability at night. I'm usually in office around 830.

DH can't do pick up. He has no flexibility and works an hour a way. We are locked into a contract for at least 6 months for child care.

I'm thinking shift some hours and get a babysitter a few nights? So I'm not leaving early every day - just 2 out of 5. I just haven't learned the culture yet.

I hate this. I love my kid but childcare sucks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helpful tip I got from a mom (who was also a VP at our office).

If you don't set your own boundaries, other people will set it for you.

Exactly. Set your schedule, let say 8-5 and stick to it, you'll be fine.

+1

-1

This only works if your work is completely independent of other people (or if most other people have similar hours). If you work in a collaborative environment and most people are still there after 5, that could be an issue.

I also leave work at 5PM to do pickup. But this is by my choice as our daycare closes at 6:30PM and it's a 15 minute commute. I will often "log on" at night to complete tasks, if necessary.

My boss knows that if I have to stay past 5PM (for a networking happy hour or a late meeting), I request a few day's notice to make alternative arrangements for my kids.

Overall, I get my work done and I am responsive! Does it really matter whether you are unavailable from 5-6PM?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helpful tip I got from a mom (who was also a VP at our office).

If you don't set your own boundaries, other people will set it for you.

Exactly. Set your schedule, let say 8-5 and stick to it, you'll be fine.

+1

I don't think you have mentioned what your hours are. If it's still 5- then can't you leave at 5?

Anonymous wrote:You need to rethink your "fact" that you have to do pick up because it's closer to you.

That may have been logical in the old job when it didn't matter that you left at 5, but if the new job isn't like that, you and DH need to take another view.

If his job is more flexible and your career is going to be negatively affected by leaving early, paired with how much you love this daycare, then those are new facts that could change the pickup.

I agree.

Anonymous wrote:Helpful tip I got from a mom (who was also a VP at our office).

If you don't set your own boundaries, other people will set it for you.

Exactly. Set your schedule, let say 8-5 and stick to it, you'll be fine.

You need to rethink your "fact" that you have to do pick up because it's closer to you.

That may have been logical in the old job when it didn't matter that you left at 5, but if the new job isn't like that, you and DH need to take another view.

If his job is more flexible and your career is going to be negatively affected by leaving early, paired with how much you love this daycare, then those are new facts that could change the pickup.

Anonymous wrote:stagger work hours with your DH so the baby is dropped off at 9:30 and you pick up at 6. 5 really is early to leave a lot of offices. or get a nanny.

I work at home now, but when we both worked outside the home, I did drop off and my husband did pick up. We also staggered our work hours as he was able to go in earlier than I could. If your new job isn't family friendly and 5 is going to be leaving early there, you can't be the one doing drop off and pick up.

I would present it as a problem and a solution:

I need to leave at 5 every day for daycare pickup, so I will be back online again after 8 and will not need any formal lunch for the next 2 months until we get into a new daycare where the pick up can be later.

Or something of the sort that acknowledges
1. This is temporary
2. You know it's an issue
3. You have found solutions

Of course, if once you get the job and realize it's not an issue and is perfectly fine, then carry on with the boundary you have set.
The above applies if it's not the culture and meetings go late, everyone else stays, erc

5 isn't too early to leave. Just get to work at 8 or so. That's a full day, no big deal.

Helpful tip I got from a mom (who was also a VP at our office).

If you don't set your own boundaries, other people will set it for you.