I was worried I would get bored. Kinda silly I suppose but I was worried about committing to someone for the rest of my life (40ish years) that I had only been dating for 6.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.

Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.

Cut and run, baby.

Yes, She's talking about kids, but there is no way (first not even sure how we could conceive them). I'm thinking I'll just consider this a starter marriage. I need to pull the plug, but I just need to get on it. I don't really care to work on this either. We shouldn't even be having this problem and even it if gets fixed temporarily, clearly sex is not a priority for her and I doubt it will change. I think her goal was just to get married.

If that's the case - ask her you owe her that - then yes cut and run. And I'm a crusty old broad telling you that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.

Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.

Cut and run, baby.

Yes, She's talking about kids, but there is no way (first not even sure how we could conceive them). I'm thinking I'll just consider this a starter marriage. I need to pull the plug, but I just need to get on it. I don't really care to work on this either. We shouldn't even be having this problem and even it if gets fixed temporarily, clearly sex is not a priority for her and I doubt it will change. I think her goal was just to get married.

Op, I'm guessing you are young. A shallow 20 something?

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have any fears leading up to marriage. (Most of my fears involved saying the right thing at the altar and not tripping. hah). Currently my biggest fear is that DH will die. But I'm pregnant now and have a mortgage and rely on both our salaries.

Life insurance, buy some, for both of you.

I didn't have any fears leading up to marriage. (Most of my fears involved saying the right thing at the altar and not tripping. hah). Currently my biggest fear is that DH will die. But I'm pregnant now and have a mortgage and rely on both our salaries.

Anonymous wrote:A woman's biggest fear: Will this man become unemployed/underemployed during our marriage?

A man's biggest fear: Will this woman become fat during our marriage?

That's really what it comes down to. Every other 'risk' is some how rationalized away except for these two.

I'm a woman and that was not my biggest fear when I married the first time. In fact, I married a man who had just earned an advanced degree in a non-lucrative field and had no immediate job prospects. I'm engaged now and it is not my biggest fear this time either. My biggest fear is definitely being widowed because I can't imagine the heartbreak.

My first husband always said that his biggest fear was a chronically ill wife. I was already "fat" by DCUM standards. (Size 12). My fiancé has said that his biggest fear is also being a widower.

My biggest fear is wife having an affair. I would beat the crap out of the other guy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.

Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.

Cut and run, baby.

Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.

Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.

Woman here. My fear would be him having an affair. Or turning into an ass who takes me for granted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A woman's biggest fear: Will this man become unemployed/underemployed during our marriage?

A man's biggest fear: Will this woman become fat during our marriage?

That's really what it comes down to. Every other 'risk' is some how rationalized away except for these two.

That's all I have to do to be a good wife? Not get fat? I'm a smashing success then! That was easy.

Um, this is the thinking of men who are too immature to be married even when they are 50. Though really my relative whines that guy would then complain that the skinny ones were 'dumb'. Omg, I didn't know that there were more of him in the world - how many emotionally stunted guys are out there then? Millions?

That's all I have to do to be a good wife? Not get fat? I'm a smashing success then! 25 years in even. That was easy.

Um, this is the thinking of men who are too immature to be married even when they are 50. Though really my relative who is 'that guy' (same thinking as you) would then complain that the skinny ones were 'dumb'. Omg, I didn't know that there were more of him in the world - how many emotionally stunted guys are out there then? Millions?

As an aside, emotionally stunted 50 year old relation finally married.. She is thin and beautiful and smart. I'm amazed he found someone to tolerate him.

Anonymous wrote:A woman's biggest fear: Will this man become unemployed/underemployed during our marriage?

A man's biggest fear: Will this woman become fat during our marriage?

That's really what it comes down to. Every other 'risk' is some how rationalized away except for these two.

That's all I have to do to be a good wife? Not get fat? I'm a smashing success then! That was easy.

Um, this is the thinking of men who are too immature to be married even when they are 50. Though really my relative whines that guy would then complain that the skinny ones were 'dumb'. Omg, I didn't know that there were more of him in the world - how many emotionally stunted guys are out there then? Millions?

Hmm, we don't have any of these fears. Because we think of ourselves as team. People who can weather the ups and downs of marriage. The sexless times, the fat times, the underemployed times. And we trust each other to not let the sexless times go on forever, to work hard at our employment, and to take care of our bodies.

If these are things you are really worried about, you are with the wrong person and you have the wrong priorities. So yes, please do us all a favor and DO NOT get married. Or have children.

People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.