OP - free babysitting is never ever free. You got greedy, now you have to pay by resolving this situation somehow.

OP again. My mother just turned 66 and is in good health. We are putting our 2yo in FT daycare when her PT preschool is over in late June. Will likely put the newborn in PT or FT daycare at around 5 months old when I go back to work. We are still on waiting lists and we all know it's difficult to find good infant daycare in this area. If not, my MIL offered to help out until we secure a spot. Anyway, I don't think my mother is dangerous, she's very attentive to my DD and spoils her rotten. She is also lonely so I think the one thing that's keeping her spirits up right now is spending time with my DD. I'm honestly trying to be a good daughter but not at the demise of my own marriage and family. I never said I was kicking her out, I could never do something like that. Hope that makes sense.

And yes I do think her behavior did contribute to the demise of her marriage. She's been abandoned 3 times in her life by men.

Writing her a sincere letter is a good idea, thank you. I'm certainly open to helping her find a therapist but am afraid she'll refuse or feel to proud to admit she needs help. Thanks for everyone's thoughts I do appreciate the perspective.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She’s not prepared to move out on her own yet but it’s also not okay for her to live with us for free, especially in this state.

Your mother has a medical disorder and from what I can tell of your post you haven't done much to try to help her. So what are you going to do, leave her mentally ill and untreated and also kick her out? Pretty shitty. You should feel very low.

Fuck you. Not OP.

This is OP. Thank you, I am not going to respond to this PPs comment, but I appreciate the support!