You handled it perfectly. Continue doing the same. If he get increasingly irritated, let him escalate it. At that point you can politely say: FIL I would love to make you feel even more comfortable when you are visiting, but I have two young kids who are very demanding and it's tough to find time and energy. I can teach you how the coffee machine works, or I can teach MIL. And by the way, be prepared for him to be offended no matter how polite you are.

Get a Keurig.

Anonymous wrote:My ILs visited within the first few weeks and I made it clear that we would be ordering food and stocking up with a few basics.

They complained that I never made a proper dinner (dh did some cooking, but he was also sleep deprived and we had a toddler too). They never offered to make or pick up food. I asked MIL to hold the baby so I could shower and she said she was tired. She would yell upstairs when she needed something even though she knew I had just put the baby down.

Some people just suck.

No more visits for them, either. "We know you like your food just so, and your quiet time. You'll be np more comfortable in a hotel. We will meet you at the restaurant for brunch at 10!"

My ILs visited within the first few weeks and I made it clear that we would be ordering food and stocking up with a few basics.

They complained that I never made a proper dinner (dh did some cooking, but he was also sleep deprived and we had a toddler too). They never offered to make or pick up food. I asked MIL to hold the baby so I could shower and she said she was tired. She would yell upstairs when she needed something even though she knew I had just put the baby down.

Some people just suck.

Anonymous wrote:I never engage in passive aggressive behavior, but in this case...

"MIL, DIL, with a baby and a toddler, I just clearly can't meet your standard of hosting. I guess we will just have to hold off on hosting you again until baby is napping on a schedule and sleeping through the night. See you in six months or so!"

Hahahaha...

Make that 8 months

You are a better person than me OP.
I would be on the phone with my husband telling him I'm not leaving my bedroom until he comes home and deals with his parents.
I had a similar situation when my child was born (mine involved actually hearing them complain about how they couldn't believe their son had to help me get out of bed 24 hours after a Csection amongst other nasty things) and I highly highly recommend nipping this in the bud now

Anonymous wrote:WOW. entitled white man. unbelievable!

My answer "There is a starbucks/mcdonalds down the street - i can show you on google maps. "

Or hand him the jar of instant. - If he is as old as he is acting that's what they use to drink in the 60's and 70's.

He treats his FAMILY like this? I shudder to think what this man is like in public.

LOL. Did she say he was white? I think it may be an age versus race thing... So maybe not as entitled as conveniently, helpless. I see that affliction in all groups

np: Would appreciate more advice from those who have dealt with this. In my case, it's my own dad who is like this.

I never engage in passive aggressive behavior, but in this case...

"MIL, DIL, with a baby and a toddler, I just clearly can't meet your standard of hosting. I guess we will just have to hold off on hosting you again until baby is napping on a schedule and sleeping through the night. See you in six months or so!"

Hahahaha...

Have MIL explain to FIL how hard it is for someone who just had a baby. Hopefully, she still remembers.

Anonymous wrote:No more visits. I would not tolerate anyone treating me as a servant in my home. Especially in front of my daughters. And all the "proper hostess police" in here can stuff it-- just an excuse to be a doormat.

+1000

I think this is a strong indication not to have them over again until you're in a position to host (e.g., baby is older).

My FIL is the same way, but Asian in addition so he's actually even more obnoxious (think: planning his birthday lunch and then pouting because I wasn't willing to wake my jetlagged baby up from a nap to go to the restaurant but rather stayed behind and met them as soon as baby woke up). I call it "old man baby syndrome." They are seriously more helpless than newborns and it's gross. I never give in, probably in part because I have an awesome, supportive dad who has always helped when visiting after the birth of my kids!

I'm not surprised that he was hoping you would make it. But the complaining to MIL about it? Ridiculous!

That's crazy egocentric. Think your answer was perfect OP. Keep it up.

So typical, sadly.

WOW. entitled white man. unbelievable!

My answer "There is a starbucks/mcdonalds down the street - i can show you on google maps. "

Or hand him the jar of instant. - If he is as old as he is acting that's what they use to drink in the 60's and 70's.

He treats his FAMILY like this? I shudder to think what this man is like in public.