Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I dislike about telling people to bring donations for XYZ organization or purpose is it feels very White Man's Burden. Like we are all too self-absorbed and ignorant to figure out how to donate to needy organizations on our own, we need Shaylene's birthday party invitation to remind us that there are people far worse off than we who need our help, and Shaylene's mother is the one to pull the wool from our eyes. It's like this one mother at school who sent everyone at email asking us all to "prayerfully consider' donating to Toy for Tots because we need to teach our children to spread wealth and love especially to those who need it at the holidays.

Um, yeah. I know. I do plenty of that in my own home and I don't need you to tell me how to do it like it never occurred to me.

So a six-year-old who understands that she's not the center of the universe (most think they are) and who understands that she can help people who have less than she does, even on a day that society tells her is all about her -- she's somehow shoving "the white man's burden" onto adults? That's a lot of negativity to aim at a first grader who is actually willing to forego a gift grab.

OP's family's idea is about some cans of food and a simple, positive lesson for a child; it's not a statement by this family that the rest of the world isn't donating enough to charities. And it's not automatically an attempt to be holier than thou, though you seem to see any request for donations in that way.

The family in this scenario doesn't seem to have that agenda, yet somehow you believe it's there. Why assume negative or self-righteous intentions in other people?

If a "bring a can of food" party comes up for your own child, please feel free not to send any donation, or not to send your child at all, if you're that offended by the mere request.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate people who force their kids into pushing their causes. They implant the idea and praise their kid and the kid is pressured into going along with it. I bet OP's kid will remember it and overcompensate with her kids by letting them keep all gifts.

Really? You won't give OP the benefit of the doubt that she want her DD to model behavior and reflect their family's values? I think this is more your issue than theirs.

Anonymous wrote:I hate people who force their kids into pushing their causes. They implant the idea and praise their kid and the kid is pressured into going along with it. I bet OP's kid will remember it and overcompensate with her kids by letting them keep all gifts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I dislike about telling people to bring donations for XYZ organization or purpose is it feels very White Man's Burden. Like we are all too self-absorbed and ignorant to figure out how to donate to needy organizations on our own, we need Shaylene's birthday party invitation to remind us that there are people far worse off than we who need our help, and Shaylene's mother is the one to pull the wool from our eyes. It's like this one mother at school who sent everyone at email asking us all to "prayerfully consider' donating to Toy for Tots because we need to teach our children to spread wealth and love especially to those who need it at the holidays.

Um, yeah. I know. I do plenty of that in my own home and I don't need you to tell me how to do it like it never occurred to me.

So a six-year-old who understands that she's not the center of the universe (most think they are) and who understands that she can help people who have less than she does, even on a day that society tells her is all about her -- she's somehow shoving "the white man's burden" onto adults? That's a lot of negativity to aim at a first grader who is actually willing to forego a gift grab.

OP's family's idea is about some cans of food and a simple, positive lesson for a child; it's not a statement by this family that the rest of the world isn't donating enough to charities. And it's not automatically an attempt to be holier than thou, though you seem to see any request for donations in that way.

The family in this scenario doesn't seem to have that agenda, yet somehow you believe it's there. Why assume negative or self-righteous intentions in other people?

If a "bring a can of food" party comes up for your own child, please feel free not to send any donation, or not to send your child at all, if you're that offended by the mere request.

Anonymous wrote:What I dislike about telling people to bring donations for XYZ organization or purpose is it feels very White Man's Burden. Like we are all too self-absorbed and ignorant to figure out how to donate to needy organizations on our own, we need Shaylene's birthday party invitation to remind us that there are people far worse off than we who need our help, and Shaylene's mother is the one to pull the wool from our eyes. It's like this one mother at school who sent everyone at email asking us all to "prayerfully consider' donating to Toy for Tots because we need to teach our children to spread wealth and love especially to those who need it at the holidays.

Um, yeah. I know. I do plenty of that in my own home and I don't need you to tell me how to do it like it never occurred to me.

Anonymous wrote:We've said:

"This is a "no gift" party, but if you'd like to bring food or supplies for XYZ Animal Shelter, we will be making a group donation later this month."

Anonymous wrote:Donate the gifts. Don't tell people what to buy. Manage your stuff better. My son is 10 and his bday is in November, so every year I anticipate having to deal with the birthday gifts and then Christmas. It was worse when he was younger, but now he gets less bc the stuff he's interested in has changed. Just keep what you want & donate what you don't want. But don't turn your kid's bday into a fundraiser. Most people agree that it's inappropriate.