Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 20:30     Subject: Would this bother you?

It would pain me, I have to confess.
However she's old, and probably completely forgot. So for her point of view, nothing's wrong.

Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 20:19     Subject: Would this bother you?
Anonymous wrote:OP it is not your MIL job to celebrate your bday, grow the fuck up! That's up to your parents, kids and/or your husband!

On the other hand, you and your hubby shouldn't be paying for your bil, his spouse and your inlaws meals!


Go away troll and take some Xanax with you Biatch!
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 19:08     Subject: Would this bother you?
OP, if you can afford the dinner, I really don't see why you're so bent out of shape about this. Your husband is excited. This is his family. Let. It. Go.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 18:41     Subject: Re:Would this bother you?

Your MIL is a cheapskate and if she can't afford an upscale restaurant and pay her own way, then she should host something more affordable.

I would not attend because there is no way would I be helping to pay for the extra four relatives, especially when the MIL favors big celebrations for her other two sons and not your DH.

As far as your MIL "forgetting" your birthday, I would just overlook that. She probably only had joint birthday celebrations for you and her other son as a temporary thing.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 18:09     Subject: Would this bother you?
OP it is not your MIL job to celebrate your bday, grow the fuck up! That's up to your parents, kids and/or your husband!

On the other hand, you and your hubby shouldn't be paying for your bil, his spouse and your inlaws meals!
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 13:46     Subject: Would this bother you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What does your dh day about paying for almost everyone?

This is beyond messed up. Im sorry op. They sound really shitty. Fwiw: my inlaws dos the same thing but on purpose. They invited us all out on to my favorite restaurant to celebrate their nieces bday and their anniversary. We all share the same day but they did this on purpose to exclude me. My husband saw right through and declined with me.

Now, while I don't think your in laws are doing this on purpose to you it still is pretty shitty. I would go with your husband since it is his brother and he is excited.

Sorry.


The restaurant happens to be DH favorite too so I think he is mostly excited about going to the restaurant than the celebration. I am tempted to suggest to DH that we go for dinner there the night before the party (just the two of us) and decline to go for the BIL's birthday. My DH can't drive or organize my birthday due to health issues so someone would think they would be thoughtful enough to do a joint birthday party.


That's what I'd do, though not because they've slighted you/missed your birthday. That doesn't seem intentional/spiteful. But I'd do it because no way in hell am I going out to my favorite restaurant and paying for four other people. The BIL, yes. The other 3, no. Hello, tacky.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 13:39     Subject: Would this bother you?
Anonymous wrote:What does your dh day about paying for almost everyone?

This is beyond messed up. Im sorry op. They sound really shitty. Fwiw: my inlaws dos the same thing but on purpose. They invited us all out on to my favorite restaurant to celebrate their nieces bday and their anniversary. We all share the same day but they did this on purpose to exclude me. My husband saw right through and declined with me.

Now, while I don't think your in laws are doing this on purpose to you it still is pretty shitty. I would go with your husband since it is his brother and he is excited.

Sorry.


The restaurant happens to be DH favorite too so I think he is mostly excited about going to the restaurant than the celebration. I am tempted to suggest to DH that we go for dinner there the night before the party (just the two of us) and decline to go for the BIL's birthday. My DH can't drive or organize my birthday due to health issues so someone would think they would be thoughtful enough to do a joint birthday party.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 13:37     Subject: Would this bother you?
It wouldn't bother me at all. I hate when my MIL tries to celebrate my birthday, it feels like she's infantilizing me. I'm a grown woman, I don't need a big party unless I ask for one. I'm happy to celebrate other people's birthdays if they want to but I hate when her stupid traditions are foisted on me.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 13:35     Subject: Would this bother you?
Anonymous wrote:should read: if you are *over* 25


It is always tacky, even if you're under 25.

It is too late to hope that you are going to untack-ify your MIL.

You are paying to preserve family harmony -- whether you want to pay for your meal as well as the others is up to you. If your DH really wants you there, I think you should go. Otherwise, just say you hope he has a great time, but you'd rather have a quiet evening by yourself at home.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 13:34     Subject: Would this bother you?
Anonymous wrote:here is the official rule: after you are 25, it is beyond tacky to ask others to buy your meal to celebrate your birthday. be a grown up and pay for your own meal, or, if you are a true class act, pay for everyone as a celebration of your own birthday.

WTF is wrong with people. if you are an adult no one gives a shit about your birthday. truly. anyone who disagrees with this is at their core, immature and/or selfish.


This. Thank you!
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2016 13:31     Subject: Would this bother you?
should read: if you are *over* 25