Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's probably because they feel you have little in common and don't want to invest their time on new friendships. It is uncool, however, for them to be unfriendly and intentionally exclude you. The lifestyle and mentality of a lean healthy person is very different than an overweight person, in general. I see this firsthand when my overweight family members visit our ski vacation home, and it trickles down to the kids. Every detail of our day is affected from how we eat to what we do during the day. Having said that, this is not a private school issue, rather a cultural issue. I'm guessing you're a kind and smart person, in which case it'll just take a little more time for people to see what's underneath an want to have you as their friend.

Are you serious? This is funny! I'm overweight and I probably spend more time at the gym than you do. I hike and run and travel extensively. What activities do you engage in as a thin person that others don't? Do you assume that every fat person spends all day sitting on the couch watching OPrah and eating cake?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's probably because they feel you have little in common and don't want to invest their time on new friendships. It is uncool, however, for them to be unfriendly and intentionally exclude you. The lifestyle and mentality of a lean healthy person is very different than an overweight person, in general. I see this firsthand when my overweight family members visit our ski vacation home, and it trickles down to the kids. Every detail of our day is affected from how we eat to what we do during the day. Having said that, this is not a private school issue, rather a cultural issue. I'm guessing you're a kind and smart person, in which case it'll just take a little more time for people to see what's underneath an want to have you as their friend.

Are you serious? This is funny! I'm overweight and I probably spend more time at the gym than you do. I hike and run and travel extensively. What activities do you engage in as a thin person that others don't? Do you assume that every fat person spends all day sitting on the couch watching OPrah and eating cake?

Anonymous wrote:It's probably because they feel you have little in common and don't want to invest their time on new friendships. It is uncool, however, for them to be unfriendly and intentionally exclude you. The lifestyle and mentality of a lean healthy person is very different than an overweight person, in general. I see this firsthand when my overweight family members visit our ski vacation home, and it trickles down to the kids. Every detail of our day is affected from how we eat to what we do during the day. Having said that, this is not a private school issue, rather a cultural issue. I'm guessing you're a kind and smart person, in which case it'll just take a little more time for people to see what's underneath an want to have you as their friend.

Anonymous wrote:It's probably because they feel you have little in common and don't want to invest their time on new friendships. It is uncool, however, for them to be unfriendly and intentionally exclude you. The lifestyle and mentality of a lean healthy person is very different than an overweight person, in general. I see this firsthand when my overweight family members visit our ski vacation home, and it trickles down to the kids. Every detail of our day is affected from how we eat to what we do during the day. Having said that, this is not a private school issue, rather a cultural issue. I'm guessing you're a kind and smart person, in which case it'll just take a little more time for people to see what's underneath an want to have you as their friend.

Anonymous wrote:People in DC are generally socially awkward because they are either really nerdy so they don't really understand how to exchange pleasantries or they are wannabe posers from nowhere who suddenly think they made it so excluding the fat person makes them feel superior. If you were really rich, that would be different, they would kiss your ass. But cheer up, they don't only exclude fat people, they also exclude people based on race. I'm an average looking south Asian at VA private, we're both doctors and beyond birthday parties for the kids the skinny wasp blondes never invite me for after drop off coffee get togethers.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need your child's classmates' parents for a social life? You seem like a pleasant thoughtful person. I'm sure you have lots of friends, neighbors, and colleagues to socialize with. It's hard enough for me to find time for the people in my life who I enjoy. Unless those other parents have an effect on your child's friendships and education, don't bother with them.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need your child's classmates' parents for a social life? You seem like a pleasant thoughtful person. I'm sure you have lots of friends, neighbors, and colleagues to socialize with. It's hard enough for me to find time for the people in my life who I enjoy. Unless those other parents have an effect on your child's friendships and education, don't bother with them.

Anonymous wrote:So one of my kids started at a new school this year. We've had kids at other privates, and the communities have been different but generally friendly.

This school is different in another way. Moms who are at home with their kids wear high heels, full make-up, and designer clothes to drop off their children. Not that there's anything wrong with any of these things, but the prevalence of moms like this is new in my experience.

The other thing about this school is that it's been very hard to break the ice and get to know other moms. Even my DH, who is usually oblivious, commented that people seem rather cliquish. Our repeated overtures for play dates and get-togethers have been rebuffed. We are down-to-earth people who generally don't care much about material things. We're not wealthy, but we're comfortable and paying private school tuition is not a challenge. We're both outgoing and have lots of friends from other contexts.

This may sound like a dumb question, but it is a genuine one. I'm wondering if some of the social ostracism has to do with the fact that I'm fat and not very trendy? While I'm not slovenly, I'm not the kind of do drop-off in heels. I'm also about 60 lbs overweight. Could it be real that in this particular elite school, someone's weight and the clothes she wears could be a factor in forming friendships? I haven't experienced this since high school, and it kind of blows my mind. What made me begin to wonder about this is that the only mom who has been open and friendly is also overweight. I noticed that she is also not "included" by the other moms.

Has anyone else experienced this?

If you were in an environment where people were judged on the size of their bodies, rather than the content of their character, would you stay if your child was happy? DC has had a great experience inside the classroom, loves the teachers, and is very happy there.