You know, my SIL is similar but not a teacher and doesn't say those things to our faces. Usually. She does roll her eyes and did complain about all the child proofing at her parent's home relentlessly when our kids were very small. She basically ignores our kids except for a birthday and Christmas gift. No calls, ever.

I hate it and it makes me downright sad. But she has her own demons. I know she doesn't love kids and isn't cutesy, but I think deep down her anorexia and fear of fatness has prevented her from wanting to have a child since she was a young teen. I have lots of other observations, all kinda sad. So I let it go, and the door is always open.

I'd be like "Wow! How can anyone be a good teacher if they don't like kids. You must be the worst. I bet they call you The Cooler."

You could have left out the part about skipping the birthday parties and the 1 gift to share. Who cares? Is everyone supposed to go to your kids' parties?
I love kids, I'm a parent, but I don't feel the need to attend to every relative's kids or attend all of their parties and sometimes I give siblings a gift they can share, sometimes I do this at Christmas. Who gives a f***?

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not one to respond in the moment, so I wouldn't have said anything. And I don't think this is a situation where you need to get angry - clearly SIL is a grouch, and she won't change. I would limit contact, and not worry about it at all.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000
She's cranky and does not like little kids, why take it personally?
Now, if she kept repeating that in front of my kids, then I would need to give a curt reminder her to be aware of her audience, other than that, let.it.go

Anonymous wrote:Why in the world would you ask her about Grandparents Day when you know 1.) she doesn't have kids 2.)she doesn't work with little kids and 3.) I assume your kids don't go to her school so what were you trying to get at?

If someone doesn't have kids you don't ask them if their school has Grandparents Day. It sounds rude and seems as though you were rude to her and she was rude right back.

Her SIL is teacher of older children. It was a fair question since there is a grandparent visiting day at some schools. My DS had one in 7th grade at his new middle school. I feel sorry for SIL's pupils; she must be a pill to them, too.

Anonymous wrote:I would have said okay and then told my husband and kids let's go. I would tell my husband if he wanted to go from now on, he could go alone.

WHY?

Why in the world would you ask her about Grandparents Day when you know 1.) she doesn't have kids 2.)she doesn't work with little kids and 3.) I assume your kids don't go to her school so what were you trying to get at?

If someone doesn't have kids you don't ask them if their school has Grandparents Day. It sounds rude and seems as though you were rude to her and she was rude right back.

Nothing to say, she hates kids and she owns it. Live in your truth. No reason for her to be fake.

You know, your in laws might not be that crazy about a daughter in law who hates kids so much that she doesn't want to give them grandchildren. I bet they're on your side here and changed the subject in order to draw attention away from your SIL's rudeness. Seems like your parents-in-law have your back, anyway, and that's a big plus for you. Better, maybe, that you didn't say anything and showed some patience with your SIL. If she keeps up this kind of rude commentary on young kids, I think it would be okay to say in the future something like, "SIL, I totally understand that you don't like young kids, but many people like me do, and it's insulting to constantly denigrate my choices right in front of me, and especially right in front of them. Please stop doing that."

OP, SIL doesn't like kids. You know she doesn't like kids. Why on earth won't you talk about something else other than "cutesy stuff" at a dinner table? I am not child-free, and I still can't stand the cutesy shit and other moms going on and on and on about it. NBD. Definitely not worth ruminating about.

I agree about asking other parents in your child's daycare. Also ask around to friends in the neighborhood even if their kids aren't the same age. And finally, you might ask if the daycare teachers can recommend someone or pass on your request to someone they know, even if it isn't they themselves.

She was making a jab at your kids and you gave her the perfect opportunity to do so by bringing up grandparents' day. I had a teacher in high school from the UK who was a wonderful math teacher. Someone asked him if he had children and he said he didn't like young children but he enjoyed them when they got older (like us). Most of us were quite shocked, having never met a person, let alone a teacher, who didn't like children. You know now that she finds your children annoying (and probably you, too) so do not engage her by asking her any questions.

What could you say that wouldn't make you also look bad? Nothing. Some people don't like little kids. That's okay.

Anonymous wrote:"Well, I'M not a fan of intolerant, rude adults who don't take the feelings of others, particularly their family members, into consideration."

"By the way, while you may not be able to stand little kids, they are the future and if you care about things like social security and Medicare you'll recognize that least WE'RE doing OUR part by producing tax payers to replace the two of us."

Wow. I'm not a fan of the rude SIL, but I don't get the moral superiority of having two kids. She's a teacher; she's probably doing her part also.

I would have said okay and then told my husband and kids let's go. I would tell my husband if he wanted to go from now on, he could go alone.