I've seen my friend's 6 yo have many meltdowns over the years. I think it's the kid's personality. Honestly, I don't think he can control himself. At times, I've wondered to myself if they should take him to a counselor or someone who might be able to help him work through it.

Anonymous wrote:One of mine could throw some really big fits, the other one never has. Two completely different personalities.

Same here. My older child is very easy going and compliant, almost to the point of being so passive that DH and I worry about her. The younger one is all piss and vinegar and will die on each hill he wants to climb.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think special needs kids have more tantrums? My SN kid has never had one. Ever. Two normal kids -- lots of tantrums.

Because we have a nephew that is autistic and he has many meltdowns that I think are a part of his being on the spectrum. He can't regulate his emotionals as well. Of course not every kid with special needs would be similar. Didn't mean to offend.

It's a personality thing, OP, perhaps facilitated by parenting style. But definitely personality. And not completely abnormal. I have a nephew like this. My sister was visiting once when he had what she called a "meltdown" - which seemed to consist of crying quietly for 5 minutes because his train was broken. Some cuddles from mommy and all was forgotten.

My DD1 is 3, and I swear she had her first full-on meltdown before she turned 1 - screaming and flailing and refusing to be distracted when i took something away from her - a penny, i think. And somewhere around 2.5, she went absolutely haywire for awhile - violent biting shrieking hitting over any restriction at home. Now, at just-turned-three, she seems to be over some sort of hump. She'll still throw one or two tantrums/week but they're not the full violent fits she was having 6 months to a year ago and they're usually pretty predictable (up past her bedtime, refused dinner, etc).

DD2 is more even-keeled, at least at age 16 months. She lets me know when she is mad, to be sure, but i have seen the kind of emotional loss of control we had with DD1 by that age. perhaps she is saving it for her 2s, like a normal kid.

Once when my mom complimented my "unflappability" with DD1, I admitted that i had kind of secretly assumed my kids would be pretty laid back. Because i am. As a mother of 4, she laughed and laughed and laughed.

I'm afraid to jinx myself but my 3yo DD has never thrown a tantrum. She was a mellow baby and is a mellow kid. It's just her nature (which she didn't get from me!).

I remember the 1-2 tantrums my son had b/c they were so unusual. He talked early and often so I don't think he ever lacked the words that sometimes trigger tantrums. I know he was pretty unusual in this so I always feel for parents dealing with tantrums. My son talked non-stop which drove me crazy but I'll take that over tantrums any day.

Anonymous wrote:Is some of this maybe a matter of definition? I think that for some parents/kids the difference between a meltdown and tantrum might be a fine line and many would say their kids had tantrums without their necessarily being hitting and kicking or even screaming.

I am going with the general definition of meltdown and I remember having it myself as a child. My DD does not do this. She is laid back and does not have the extreme emtional tendencies like me. She is just made different.

I've got one kid that sinks into himself when upset, crying, etc. my other one lashed out. First is much more compliant and eager to please.

Why do you think special needs kids have more tantrums? My SN kid has never had one. Ever. Two normal kids -- lots of tantrums.

My youngest is 7.

That is the one who could throw himself on the floor in a tantrum, but only if the floor was very soft. A kid has to have standards.

It is funny to think of it now. I kind of feel bad for those who don't have these memories.

Op I have two older brothers. One brother was a perfect child, played violin, chess club, skipped grades, never caused any trouble. My other brother was a devil's child. Tantrums, fights, smoking, drinking, girls, shoplifting, you name it and my parents suffered through it. The brother who never caused any problems is now a pathological liar with sociopathic tendencies, the other brother is a successful physician in a great marriage with two lovely kids. You don't know what your kids temperament will be like untill they hit teenage years. I bet a tantrum from a 7 year old is a better deal than a screaming match with a 16 year oled who is taller and stronger than you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lucky one - a few at-home meltdowns but never a public tantrum (or even misbehaving...it's like she saves it for home). I know it has nothing to do with me or my parenting style but I will take it and appreciate the sh*t out of it as long as it lasts!!!

OP here. I knew I couldn't be the only lucky one! This is just not the sort of thing you can ask people IRL. Not without sounding really obnoxious!

Are you also OP of parenting credit thread? You have same smug tone. Obnoxious is right.

OP here. No, I am not the OP of that other thread. Sorry I come off as obnoxious. I should have known better than to ask a question like this here.

One of mine could throw some really big fits, the other one never has. Two completely different personalities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lucky one - a few at-home meltdowns but never a public tantrum (or even misbehaving...it's like she saves it for home). I know it has nothing to do with me or my parenting style but I will take it and appreciate the sh*t out of it as long as it lasts!!!

OP here. I knew I couldn't be the only lucky one! This is just not the sort of thing you can ask people IRL. Not without sounding really obnoxious!

Just so you know you sound really obnoxious here too.

Count yourself lucky, OP, but just remember that we all have different problems, so be compassionate because eventually you'll face problems with your kids that won't be so simple to solve.

I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm just saying enjoy times of peace because they usually evaporate when you least expect it.