Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 18:18     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Def reasonable.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 18:17     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:My aunt is totally loaded and we always pay the cleaning person when we use our beach house. Suits me fine.


*her not our
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 18:16     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
My aunt is totally loaded and we always pay the cleaning person when we use our beach house. Suits me fine.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 18:13     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not rude at all. I would not let anyone who was not a very, very close friend use it so they would understand my financial situation anyway. Can you close up the circle who gets access. Good friends who know you inherited it won't think it's weird at all.


I disagree. Your money is NO ONE's business - not even the closest friends, OP. NO ONE is to itemize your liabilities but you. Period. Anyone who makes assumptions about what I should be paying is certainly NOT going to be using my beach house.


My very close friends know a lot of things about me, including my financial situation, that my marriage isn't perfect, that I have trouble parenting sometimes, etc. Do you have any close friends? Very odd that your CLOSEST friends would not know that you inherited a beach house vs. paid for it. I am talking about people who I have known for 20-30 years.I would not let others use my house any more than I would tell them all my secrets, but isn't the point of having close friends having people you can trust?


Pp, the PP you responsed to was not me, the OP.

Yes my closest friends know, and I assume everyone knows really, but they don't know our personal finances or how much we make, or why the extra costs of running the beach home is not spare change, i.e., we didn't inherit another 2 million in cash.

That is part of why I'm hesitant, but this thread was extremely helpful in sorting this out. I think at the heart of it is that I am uncomfortable with the "status symbol" and new money (equity) and never thought I would be the owner of a million + beachfront property.
I need to work through a lot of this.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:52     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not rude at all. I would not let anyone who was not a very, very close friend use it so they would understand my financial situation anyway. Can you close up the circle who gets access. Good friends who know you inherited it won't think it's weird at all.


I disagree. Your money is NO ONE's business - not even the closest friends, OP. NO ONE is to itemize your liabilities but you. Period. Anyone who makes assumptions about what I should be paying is certainly NOT going to be using my beach house.


My very close friends know a lot of things about me, including my financial situation, that my marriage isn't perfect, that I have trouble parenting sometimes, etc. Do you have any close friends? Very odd that your CLOSEST friends would not know that you inherited a beach house vs. paid for it. I am talking about people who I have known for 20-30 years.I would not let others use my house any more than I would tell them all my secrets, but isn't the point of having close friends having people you can trust?
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:48     Subject: Re:Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Not rude at all.

Very small in comparison to what it would cost them to rent the house. It's very generous to let friends use it for free when you could be making $ off renters instead.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:38     Subject: Re:Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it is tacky. If they stayed there without you for a week, of course they should pay for it to be cleaned. But staying there a day or two with you -- no. You are their guest. You can do the dishes or take the trash out, but other than that -- your house, your responsibility. When you start to make the condition of the house, the cleaning of the house, the maintenance of the house a priority, then the house seems more important that the guests. Next time you come over, could you bring a vacuum cleaner and do some deep cleaning ?? If having guests seems to make the house not work for you, have less guests over.
good grief, learn how to read. She specifically said she wouldn't ask them to pay if they're there too; only when the guests are there alone for a long weekend or week. They'd spend hundreds or thousands for a hotel. If they don't want to pony up $150 for a cleaning fee then stay home!!![/quote]

+10000

Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:38     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:Not rude at all. I would not let anyone who was not a very, very close friend use it so they would understand my financial situation anyway. Can you close up the circle who gets access. Good friends who know you inherited it won't think it's weird at all.


I disagree. Your money is NO ONE's business - not even the closest friends, OP. NO ONE is to itemize your liabilities but you. Period. Anyone who makes assumptions about what I should be paying is certainly NOT going to be using my beach house.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:36     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:We inherited a million dollar beach house in a prime beachfront location. It's paid off and though the maintenance and costs are more than we ever thought,
we can make it work and are obviously grateful to be able to keep it.
(It's relevant that we inherited it, aka we could not afford it on our own, HHI 200k)

We love to entertain and have lovely friends and relatives that have been respectful and gracious guests, both when we are there and when we are not and have let them stay.

The only issue is that we are spending a lot of time and/or money cleaning when they leave. Deep cleaning is necessary with all the sand, wet sand that is now mud, and magnified wear and dirt even with the most careful houseguests with children.

Is it terrible tacky to ask for people to cover the cost of cleaners when they stay when we're not there?
I would never ask when we are there with them since they are our guests, but is it ok when they stay for free?



Ask them to pay for cleaning, at least. I know several people with a beach house (not condos or townhouses - so like you said, they are a lot of work), and they rent them out - *not* out of necessity, but because they did not want freeloading "friends" popping out of the woodwork. That way, the house is rented out, the owners make money, everyone is happy.

But you are far more generous than the people I know with beach houses. Watch that, OP, seriously. If the "friends" are allowed to use the house once, they may come to expect it.

Then again, I know other people who are invited to "vacation" at the beach with their in laws for free, and they decline. Respectfully, of course. LOL.

Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:32     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Not rude at all. I would not let anyone who was not a very, very close friend use it so they would understand my financial situation anyway. Can you close up the circle who gets access. Good friends who know you inherited it won't think it's weird at all.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:30     Subject: Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Yeah, and just to echo what someone else said earlier, it would actually make me feel better about accepting your hospitality if I could contribute in this way. I'd be one of the people who was leaving you bottles of wine or something and I'd much rather be providing you something that you can actually USE on top of that. Rather than have you stop making me this generous offer because it became too expensive or simply too much trouble for you to make it. (Granted, I'd be trying to clean up or offering to pay for cleaning on my own, too -- I'm surprised none of your friends are offering to pay for a cleaning service without being asked, it's such a normal component of staying in a beach house these days.)
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:19     Subject: Re:Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:I think it is tacky. If they stayed there without you for a week, of course they should pay for it to be cleaned. But staying there a day or two with you -- no. You are their guest. You can do the dishes or take the trash out, but other than that -- your house, your responsibility. When you start to make the condition of the house, the cleaning of the house, the maintenance of the house a priority, then the house seems more important that the guests. Next time you come over, could you bring a vacuum cleaner and do some deep cleaning ?? If having guests seems to make the house not work for you, have less guests over.
good grief, learn how to read. She specifically said she wouldn't ask them to pay if they're there too; only when the guests are there alone for a long weekend or week. They'd spend hundreds or thousands for a hotel. If they don't want to pony up $150 for a cleaning fee then stay home!!!
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:18     Subject: Re:Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:I think it is tacky. If they stayed there without you for a week, of course they should pay for it to be cleaned. But staying there a day or two with you -- no. You are their guest. You can do the dishes or take the trash out, but other than that -- your house, your responsibility. When you start to make the condition of the house, the cleaning of the house, the maintenance of the house a priority, then the house seems more important that the guests. Next time you come over, could you bring a vacuum cleaner and do some deep cleaning ?? If having guests seems to make the house not work for you, have less guests over.


Oops misread your post! Of course they should pay for the cleaning if you are not there. Most people would rather pay then clean and that's perfectly acceptable.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:17     Subject: Re:Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
Anonymous wrote:I think it is tacky. If they stayed there without you for a week, of course they should pay for it to be cleaned. But staying there a day or two with you -- no. You are their guest. You can do the dishes or take the trash out, but other than that -- your house, your responsibility. When you start to make the condition of the house, the cleaning of the house, the maintenance of the house a priority, then the house seems more important that the guests. Next time you come over, could you bring a vacuum cleaner and do some deep cleaning ?? If having guests seems to make the house not work for you, have less guests over.


If you read the OP and the follow up, it was clearly stated this would only be for people staying there without the homeowners.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:15     Subject: Re:Ok to ask friends to pay for cleaning when they use our beach house?
...they can do the dishes, not you ...