Anonymous wrote:No one has said anything except DH, and since she's not my relative, I don't feel that I can say anything to her. I guess I'm mostly looking for a way I can be ok with the things she says. I'm not good when people aren't nice,never have been.

SHe's your house guest and she's being rude on a recurring basis, on the same subject. It really doesn't matter what the subject is - what matters is the continuous rudeness. If you don't plan to do anything about it, then there's no use in asking for more advice.

The only way for you to be OK with what she says is to 1) change your mind to her point of view 2) endorse her rudeness - i.e., become rude yourself

Anonymous wrote:No one has said anything except DH, and since she's not my relative, I don't feel that I can say anything to her. I guess I'm mostly looking for a way I can be ok with the things she says. I'm not good when people aren't nice,never have been.

Probably one of the things she dislikes about organized religion is that it's been a cause of division and conflict across human history - yet, she is using the topic of religion to cause division within her own family. Has anyone pointed out the hypocrisy to her in this behavior? Maybe something as simple "You know SIL, I also think that religion should never be a cause of division - let's not allow it to be one here & now. What do you say?" and then change the subject.

I tend to avoid these kinds of conflicts with difficult people by being very interested in what the other person believes. Maybe she feels no one in the family gives her beliefs any due. You can defuse that by asking about her beliefs, the books that helped shape them, etc. Sometimes you can even find a point of common ground.

No one has said anything except DH, and since she's not my relative, I don't feel that I can say anything to her. I guess I'm mostly looking for a way I can be ok with the things she says. I'm not good when people aren't nice,never have been.

If she is ranting and raving to the point another family member is in tears every time -- I'd just stop inviting her to my home and/or ask her to leave. It's unacceptable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.

???? She's not an atheist, and I'm unsure as to why you'd suggest being nasty to her when that's exactly the behavior I don't want around me.

Reread your initial post. Sure sounds like she is an atheist to me, at least according to what was written.

Sorry - should have clarified more that she's against organized group religion.

LOL, atheist here; so she is not against religion, but just the organized aspect of it? This is truly a deranged individual.

I'm not sure how to describe it otherwise. She is pagan, probably Wiccan, but doesn't practice with anyone else, that's why I described it the way I did. She definitely had a problem with the three monotheist religions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.

???? She's not an atheist, and I'm unsure as to why you'd suggest being nasty to her when that's exactly the behavior I don't want around me.

Reread your initial post. Sure sounds like she is an atheist to me, at least according to what was written.

Sorry - should have clarified more that she's against organized group religion.

LOL, atheist here; so she is not against religion, but just the organized aspect of it? This is truly a deranged individual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.

???? She's not an atheist, and I'm unsure as to why you'd suggest being nasty to her when that's exactly the behavior I don't want around me.

Reread your initial post. Sure sounds like she is an atheist to me, at least according to what was written.

Sorry - should have clarified more that she's against organized group religion.

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The next time SIL starts in, bring out some pictures of the Wiccan goat god? "Hey, SIL, isn't Wicca close to paganism? I was wondering what you make of this guy dressed is a robe and goat horns, because it just doesn't resonate with me."

There will be rude people with social problems regardless of whether they believe in a religion or not. Atheism isn't the cause of her rude behaviors, but it has given her a platform to lecture others. Us atheists often point to behaviors like this as a negative aspect of religion, but the motivation is quite different. An atheist's view on religion is like a capitalists's view on socialism in the sense that socialists have come to their conclusion not because they are bad people, but just that they don't have a realistic and accurate world view and have fantastic ideas about the workings of civil human societies. Religious view on other religions and atheism, however, is different in the sense that the non-believers are often regarded as less worthy to varying degrees. I understand there's a lot of new age religion that has watered down this aspect of religion to the point of practical nonexistence, but the core of religion has the demonstrated power to elevate this to extremes and call upon their disciples to act in the most wicked manner, while assuring that their actions are sanctioned by non other than the will of God.

So to summarize, the SIL may be a pain in the ass, but she will never have a voice in her head telling her to exterminate all religious people. She merely have a social problem. Pull her aside, tell her that she is family and welcome to family functions, but she is being a little bitch and that she needs to stop. If not, she won't be invited again and she will wallow alone in the awkwardness that follows because everyone else will be breathing a sigh of relief.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.

???? She's not an atheist, and I'm unsure as to why you'd suggest being nasty to her when that's exactly the behavior I don't want around me.

Reread your initial post. Sure sounds like she is an atheist to me, at least according to what was written.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.

???? She's not an atheist, and I'm unsure as to why you'd suggest being nasty to her when that's exactly the behavior I don't want around me.

It was a joke.
Simply walk away. Every time. Leave the room. Pretty simple.

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.

???? She's not an atheist, and I'm unsure as to why you'd suggest being nasty to her when that's exactly the behavior I don't want around me.

Just tell her that maybe, if she doesn’t verbalize her atheism, that she won’t go to hell after all.