What if the kid refuses to do any school-related after school activities?

DC is pretty shy, so we have this issue too. He's gotten much more in sync with classmates from school activities -- sports have helped a lot even though DC isn't exactly a sports superstar. Also did "crew" for school play which DC really loved, and another school club in the fall. Scouts has been a nice addition too, though doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as other non-school activities. I think crew on the school play has been the best.

Anonymous wrote:Granted my girl wound up at a small public charter school for middle so things may be different. I think she can sit with whoever she wants at lunch. She stared sixth grade literally knowing nobody except two boys. At the end of the first day she walked out with one new friend (strangely, a girl so shy it took her a year to talk to me, while DD is the most outgoing person ever). I think at her school there are quite a number of group projects. So she met kids through that. Plus before and after school. Plus she met kids through her elementary school friends. "Oh, you're at Duple School for middle? My friend from ballet Chloe is there!"

As a mom of a very shy girl, you have no idea how much this is appreciated!
I hope the girl and your DD have become very good friends.

Mine is mid yr 6. We moved away from DC last summer, so DC went in knowing no one, new country, new language. The start was rough, but he seems settled & happy now. DS's school has a mid morning break and a 1-h lunch. Kids mingle beyond their year group during those times, as well as during (mandatory) afterschool sports. DS's best two friends are ones that he shares a lot of classes with. They do a lot of group work, which reinforces the friendships. He uses email & FaceTime to stay in touch with his best friends from DC, but tbh, none of them is really adept at the email/FT interface quite yet; I'm sure this will change in a year or two.

Bump

I make my kids join after school activities. If the activity is good they'll make friends else it's hard if your kid is shy. Mine is. It's mid yr 6th. I expect some more friendships. I'm pushing clubs after school.