Anonymous wrote:OP, here's what I would say:

"Thank you SO much for taking care of Larlo while we are away. Here is his bag, here are the emergency contacts, and here is a list of the foods that he can't eat yet. One of the ones on here that is really important is popcorn. I never would have known this before our pediatrician told us, but popcorn is one of the top 5 choking hazards for children Larlo's age. I was even skeptical of that as a real risk until my nephew Sam choked on popcorn last year. He survived, but he aspirated some and had to be hospitalized. We are so lucky it wasn't worse, but some kids have died and others have gotten irreversible brain damage from choking on popcorn. Larlo mentioned he had some here last week so I just wanted to make sure you were aware. I totally understand that you didn't know beforehand - it never would have occurred to me, either. But it's really important to us that you avoid popcorn as well as the other choking hazards on this list."

Even better if your DH will deliver the news.

Op Here. Thank you. I think I will do a miX of yours and pps. I'll forward Dh the email and he sends it

Anonymous wrote:For my family (who are DS' only other babysitters) it's a known thing that little kids don't get popcorn after what Happened with my nephew .

"Barbara, I'm not sure if you remember that my nephew had a choking incident, which still terrifies me to this day. Here's the list of choking hazards that we request you avoid with Larlo."

OP, here's what I would say:

"Thank you SO much for taking care of Larlo while we are away. Here is his bag, here are the emergency contacts, and here is a list of the foods that he can't eat yet. One of the ones on here that is really important is popcorn. I never would have known this before our pediatrician told us, but popcorn is one of the top 5 choking hazards for children Larlo's age. I was even skeptical of that as a real risk until my nephew Sam choked on popcorn last year. He survived, but he aspirated some and had to be hospitalized. We are so lucky it wasn't worse, but some kids have died and others have gotten irreversible brain damage from choking on popcorn. Larlo mentioned he had some here last week so I just wanted to make sure you were aware. I totally understand that you didn't know beforehand - it never would have occurred to me, either. But it's really important to us that you avoid popcorn as well as the other choking hazards on this list."

Even better if your DH will deliver the news.

Anonymous wrote:"Barbara, it's so wonderful you're willing to take Larlo for the weekend. Here's a list of information:

1. Larlo goes to bed at 8:00, so we usually start getting ready at 7:30.

2. Larlo still sometimes wets the bed, so please put him in a pull-up.

3. He likes eating most everything except for spinach, so we don't require him to eat that. We're still cutting up choking hazards (hotdogs, grapes) and not letting him have popcorn yet, since that's surprisingly dangerous for kids his age.

Thanks so much!"

Op here!! Thank you thank you! I was so focused on bringing up the fact that she gave him popcorn I didn't see the easiest way to say something was just like this!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he have popcorn?

Not OP but popcorn carries a choking risk in kids under 4. It's right up there with grapes and hot dogs. We don't feed it to our toddler either.

oP Here. Was coming back to post this. My nephew choked on popcorn when he was 2.5 and aspirated some. Ended up in the hospital. We also cut up his grapes still for this reason. It's just a personal thing and out of everything that we don't make a big deal out of not having popcorn is the one thing I do feel strongly about.

Well I guess you should have made that more clear to MIL or not leave him in her care.

Op Here,
Well yes, that's why I posted. I'm certainly not mad at her for giving him popcorn. Just wanted a good way to phrase it since she does tend to be a bit sensitive if she feels you tell her she's doing something wrong. For my family (who are DS' only other babysitters) it's a known thing that little kids don't get popcorn after what Happened with my nephew . Sometimes I forget that other people don't feel that way

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are wonderful but are also of the mind set of "if it was ok for my kids growing up, it's ok for yours". MIL gets offended if she feels you are telling her her way is wrong. I know when they watch DS ( about once a month), he watches more TV and eats more junk than I would prefer. BUt it isn't a hill I want to die on and I'm appreciative that they babysit. Anyways, they babysat saturday and last night DS asked for popcorn. I said he couldn't have popcorn because he was too little and he responded with "well Grammy gave me some!!" So I asked him if he had popcorn at Grammy's and he said They had it while watching a movie. Now I know 3 year olds like to tell stories but I don't know where else he would have had popcorn and he's never asked for it before. DH and I are going away for a couple of Days and they are watching him. I'm trying to figure out a polite way to go over foods DS absolutely cannot have without offending her.

Your MIL feeling offended is better than a dead grandson. Tell her they are choking hazards and so you will not allow your kids to eat such foods, period. If she doesn't agree, don't let her watch your kids anymore.

According to the CDC:

Leading causes of death

1-4 years of age

Accidents (unintentional injuries)
Congenital malformations, deformations and chromosomal abnormalities
Assault (Homicide)

5-14 years of age
Accidents (unintentional injuries)
Cancer
Intentional self-harm (suicide)

"Barbara, it's so wonderful you're willing to take Larlo for the weekend. Here's a list of information:

1. Larlo goes to bed at 8:00, so we usually start getting ready at 7:30.

2. Larlo still sometimes wets the bed, so please put him in a pull-up.

3. He likes eating most everything except for spinach, so we don't require him to eat that. We're still cutting up choking hazards (hotdogs, grapes) and not letting him have popcorn yet, since that's surprisingly dangerous for kids his age.

Thanks so much!"

Anonymous wrote:I would bring it up - and remind them about the toddler who recently died in DC because he choked on a grape.

I would also tell your child the list of "No" foods.

Op here She knows about grapes as I've seen her cut them up. Haha I wish the "no" foods would work on Ds but since he gets food at the grandparents that he doesn't get at home, thiS would likely confuse him

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he have popcorn?

Not OP but popcorn carries a choking risk in kids under 4. It's right up there with grapes and hot dogs. We don't feed it to our toddler either.

oP Here. Was coming back to post this. My nephew choked on popcorn when he was 2.5 and aspirated some. Ended up in the hospital. We also cut up his grapes still for this reason. It's just a personal thing and out of everything that we don't make a big deal out of not having popcorn is the one thing I do feel strongly about.

Well I guess you should have made that more clear to MIL or not leave him in her care.

Op here,

Don't want to turn this into a thread about whether you should or shouldn't. I'm sure all of us have foods we would rather our DC not eat. Whether rational or not, the image of my nephew choking is imprinted in my brain and I'm just not comfortable with DS having popcorn. Will just tell them about my nephew and mention that it's considered a choking hazard

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are wonderful but are also of the mind set of "if it was ok for my kids growing up, it's ok for yours". MIL gets offended if she feels you are telling her her way is wrong. I know when they watch DS ( about once a month), he watches more TV and eats more junk than I would prefer. BUt it isn't a hill I want to die on and I'm appreciative that they babysit. Anyways, they babysat saturday and last night DS asked for popcorn. I said he couldn't have popcorn because he was too little and he responded with "well Grammy gave me some!!" So I asked him if he had popcorn at Grammy's and he said They had it while watching a movie. Now I know 3 year olds like to tell stories but I don't know where else he would have had popcorn and he's never asked for it before. DH and I are going away for a couple of Days and they are watching him. I'm trying to figure out a polite way to go over foods DS absolutely cannot have without offending her.

Have DH review the foods that are a choking hazard with his parents and have them on a written list. Don't make a big deal about junk food other than to respectfully ask they balance it with healthy food. He can couch the choking hazards in terms like he (your DH) didn't even know this until the pediatrician mentioned this, the daycare had the list, whatever way he found out so he figured they may not know. Mention that it isn't just that they can choke but it is harder to dislodge the items at that age. Assume that they don't know and of course now that they know they wouldn't want to take that risk. I personally didn't know the age was 4 until looking this up right now. I had guessed age 3 based on all the toys being age 3 and up due to choking hazards.

If it seems like his parents won't respect safety things then you can't leave your child with them until he/she is older. As you said the more junk food and the more TV aren't going to be the types of things you can reasonably enforce with inlaws helping you out and I chalk that up to grandparents spoiling grandkids and having the TV to help give them a break. However, if it is a safety thing and could put my child's life in immediate danger and it's clear that they are willing to take the risk and give my child something they know they shouldn't, then I feel I would be irresponsible leaving my kids with them alone.

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are wonderful but are also of the mind set of "if it was ok for my kids growing up, it's ok for yours". MIL gets offended if she feels you are telling her her way is wrong. I know when they watch DS ( about once a month), he watches more TV and eats more junk than I would prefer. BUt it isn't a hill I want to die on and I'm appreciative that they babysit. Anyways, they babysat saturday and last night DS asked for popcorn. I said he couldn't have popcorn because he was too little and he responded with "well Grammy gave me some!!" So I asked him if he had popcorn at Grammy's and he said They had it while watching a movie. Now I know 3 year olds like to tell stories but I don't know where else he would have had popcorn and he's never asked for it before. DH and I are going away for a couple of Days and they are watching him. I'm trying to figure out a polite way to go over foods DS absolutely cannot have without offending her.

Your MIL feeling offended is better than a dead grandson. Tell her they are choking hazards and so you will not allow your kids to eat such foods, period. If she doesn't agree, don't let her watch your kids anymore.

I would bring it up - and remind them about the toddler who recently died in DC because he choked on a grape.

I would also tell your child the list of "No" foods.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he have popcorn?

Not OP but popcorn carries a choking risk in kids under 4. It's right up there with grapes and hot dogs. We don't feed it to our toddler either.

I think that these items are fine to eat in the company of adults at home. I wouldn't hand my 3-year old a bag of popcorn to eat while I'm driving her around, but I'll let her eat it with me at home. Same with grapes and hot dogs. My kids have eaten these things since at least age 2.

Did you even bother to read the article?

The pediatrics group says that while vigilance is important, parents cannot always prevent choking. “I see the parents when they bring their children into the E.R.,” Dr. Smith said. “Virtually every time they say, ‘I can’t believe this happened to my child — I was standing right there.’ ”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he have popcorn?

Not OP but popcorn carries a choking risk in kids under 4. It's right up there with grapes and hot dogs. We don't feed it to our toddler either.

I think that these items are fine to eat in the company of adults at home. I wouldn't hand my 3-year old a bag of popcorn to eat while I'm driving her around, but I'll let her eat it with me at home. Same with grapes and hot dogs. My kids have eaten these things since at least age 2.

NP. Fine for you, but kids choke on these foods in the presence of adults all the time (including, sadly, recently in DC). We also do not feed our 3 yo any of the top 5 choking hazards.