Anonymous
01/01/2016 08:51
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
Anonymous wrote:Both parents and in laws are in the process of downsizing. We are thrilled. The flip side is both seem to have saved every piece of paper, toys, give away, broken furniture etc. from the last three decades. And they want us to take it... And won't take no (or donate/trash) for an answer. They keep showing up with more and more crap. We live in a small house and don't have room for it. We are overflowing as it is cause DH has a similar proclivity (why must one save 18 empty ice cream cartons? Why?!!!)
Advice without hurting feelings? The obvious is to take and then dump, but if it enters our house DH feels obligated to keep it. Our house is full and I'm out of space to put things we actually use.
Ideas?
Hold on: If your DH is saving 18 ice cream cartons and won't get rid of things...read up on hoarding.
Anonymous
01/01/2016 08:49
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
Put a hard stop to it. Don't let it in the door.
Ideally, you would each go to your childhood homes, spend a day or two helping your parents sort things, take what items you wish, make arrangements for any furniture--then say no more.
My DH did this. There was a dumpster involved as they cleaned out a very full basement.
Ideally, you would each go to your childhood homes, spend a day or two helping your parents sort things, take what items you wish, make arrangements for any furniture--then say no more.
My DH did this. There was a dumpster involved as they cleaned out a very full basement.
Anonymous
01/01/2016 00:28
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
Marie Kondo. Read the book. You're welcome.
Anonymous
12/31/2015 23:27
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
My parents just downsized into a condo. They gave us lots of boxes of mostly crap which I took because every tenth item or so was actually something cool/valuable. Since I end up displaying or visibly using a few things in my home, my mom gets the impression I'm utilizing everything when actually I've thrown the rest away! Win-win, sort of.
Anonymous
12/31/2015 22:07
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
You have to check out this amazing company called everything but the house - not sure if they operate in the DC area but we worked with them when my parents downsizes (they live in Ohio) and it was amazing. It's like an online estate sale company but they handle everything for you. It's worth checking out.
Anonymous
12/31/2015 10:47
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
On thing to remember, OP, is that once someone gives you something, they no longer have any right or say in it. It is yours, without strings. So do what YOU want to do with the things your mom gives you, not what she wants you to do. A lot of damage runs through families when people think that their own wishes and desires travel with objects (and money) when they give them away.
Anonymous
12/31/2015 10:46
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
My parents did the same...and then another relative died and my mom can't bear to get rid of her things, either. That relative couldn't bear to get rid of ANYTHING. It just keeps rolling on down. My husband is a clutter bug, and I hate clutter and love to get rid of stuff. So I have an agreement with my mom - I will take the stuff, but I will get rid of it. She gets to "give" it to me, I will ooo and ahh over it for a moment, and then I'll take it home and toss it, for the most part. But if I wasn't a good thrower-outer...no, I don't think I could bring it into the house.
Anonymous
12/31/2015 10:46
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
in addition to the ideas above, make them learn about the different websites that could value their items. This also stops the idea that something has value (outside of sentimental value).
there are also companies out there that help people downsize, but they really work best for homes filled with antiques. We used one for my aunts home (who was an antiques dealer) and it was really cool and a great service. We took what we wanted, and they ran an online auction and took a cut. They were really great people on the emotional side of the memories/value/death clean out drama.
there are also companies out there that help people downsize, but they really work best for homes filled with antiques. We used one for my aunts home (who was an antiques dealer) and it was really cool and a great service. We took what we wanted, and they ran an online auction and took a cut. They were really great people on the emotional side of the memories/value/death clean out drama.
Anonymous
12/31/2015 10:43
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
My mother did this to me when she moved out of the country...it's okay not to keep everything, OP. If there are keepsakes you feel bad about tossing, what about taking pictures and making a photo book of them and then getting rid of the old art projects or whatever it is?
Anonymous
12/31/2015 10:40
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
I put a bunch of stuff on one of those Yardsale sites on Facebook and it got snapped up. It was nice, just not my style or something I had room for (I live in a townhouse).
Anonymous
12/31/2015 10:39
Subject: Downsizing parents = junk for our house
Dump it and say no. I had to repeatedly say to my parents and steps (4 of them with four people's worth of crap), "do not clean your house into my house."