Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 03:08     Subject: Re:Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Anonymous wrote:My MIL walked into my bedroom (door was closed) right as I was walking out of the bathroom naked. I had just given birth and was sleep deprived so it didn't register at first. Presumably she was looking for a hair dryer. I've tried to put it out of my mind, but this thread brought it back! She's here now, too. It must still be in my subconscious though, because when I showered today I locked both the bedroom and bathroom doors.


This is why all the "it's fine" posters are wrong. Because if she would do it to look at a mirror, she'd do it to look for a hair dryer.

Yikes. Sorry, PP!
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 22:58     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Door was shut? She needed to knock. Open, then it's a bit more questionable. But if it was shut, she was wrong.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 22:54     Subject: Re:Family =/= all-access pass to my home
My MIL walked into my bedroom (door was closed) right as I was walking out of the bathroom naked. I had just given birth and was sleep deprived so it didn't register at first. Presumably she was looking for a hair dryer. I've tried to put it out of my mind, but this thread brought it back! She's here now, too. It must still be in my subconscious though, because when I showered today I locked both the bedroom and bathroom doors.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 22:04     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
OP - you were right. Your MIL needs to learn about boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 21:49     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Op - - why would you ask DCUM? It's called a preference. You are allowed to have a preference. Luckily you and you husband have the same preference. And since MIL has no ownership to this home - it is your home, and in order to respect you as an equal adult, she needs to honor your preference. She just has to. There is no "right" or "wrong" to a preference that involves your property.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:36     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
It's weird. Bedroom is private, especially if the door is closed. I wander around in undies when getting dressed, and I would assume people will knock at a closed door, not just waltz in.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:21     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Anonymous wrote:I love your husband.


So do I! --OP
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:20     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you don't seem to grasp that genuinely was asking for opinions here. My gut is "this is weird," and I wanted a gut check. I do appreciate the range of opinions, but can't you say "it's fine" without also accusing me of being a horrible DIL, etc.?

And I would feel the same if a cousin or my aunt or someone did the same thing. My feeling is not MIL specific.

I'm hoping to gain a general consensus so I can manage my future expectations.


She isn't going through your stuff and just wanted to see a family heirloom. Its not a big deal. Pick your battles and this is not one. My MIL reorganized my son's drawers. I was upset she did not do mine and my husband's. All relative. She did such a nice job (I always told her she is not allowed to cook or clean and just enjoy her grandchild).
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:20     Subject: Re:Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Anonymous wrote:Is the mbr on the main floor of the house or upstairs? Not that it should make a difference but we have had both and found that having an upper floor mbr meant greater privacy. Plus older people hesitate before climbing the stairs.


Upstairs, and the door was shut.--OP
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:19     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Leave some sex toys on the bed next time she is there and I bet she won't sneak in again.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:17     Subject: Re:Family =/= all-access pass to my home
I don't go out of my way to wander into family members' bedrooms, but it wouldn't occur to me that I was violating rules of privacy and decorum if I went into a bedroom for some reason. I think you are being over sensitive OP, and maybe reading other situations where your MIL does overstep onto this situation, which seems benign.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:15     Subject: Re:Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Is the mbr on the main floor of the house or upstairs? Not that it should make a difference but we have had both and found that having an upper floor mbr meant greater privacy. Plus older people hesitate before climbing the stairs.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2015 19:14     Subject: Family =/= all-access pass to my home
Next time I hope she walks in on you guys doing the horizontal mambo!