Anonymous wrote:Went to high school (one of the "W" schools in MoCo) with a bunch of kids like this. The Asian kids going after straight A's often burned out later. The B-average kids, usually white but also well-rounded, did pretty well career-wise. Most of the people at my 20-year reunion last year who owned successful businesses were the B-average kids. I think entrepreneurship requires a very broad range of skills.

No, they just like going to high school reunions. That proves nothing.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, the pressure to do too many activities and AP classes has left kids without time to get a job. I think kids should have to work. I rather their be a"work" requirement, in addition to the volunteer hours.

+1 My HS DCs do not remotely have time to have a job.

Went to high school (one of the "W" schools in MoCo) with a bunch of kids like this. The Asian kids going after straight A's often burned out later. The B-average kids, usually white but also well-rounded, did pretty well career-wise. Most of the people at my 20-year reunion last year who owned successful businesses were the B-average kids. I think entrepreneurship requires a very broad range of skills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behold white privilege.

It's not a bad place to be, if you want to know the truth. As a white lady with a white son, I refuse to apologize to my fellow parents with more melanin because my white son's mental health is the biggest worry for him. I'm really glad that he has such great higher education prospects ahead of him, and I take pleasure in guiding him through his middle and high school years while making good choices for his mental health and his academic future. I do feel privileged to be his mom with the abundance of opportunities spread out before us.

Ok ... Sounds like a good thing for him to write about in his college admissions essays!

Anonymous wrote:I work in mental health and see far too many young adults and teens who aren't functioning well because of academic stress and a culture that seems to favor striving and image management.

If I told you how many of my clients are Asian I bet you'd be surprised. Something is wrong if so many young Asian students are having depression, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts because they don't earn an A average or get into an Ivy college, top medical school or T14 law school. Parents of these kids may think that level of pressure is needed for success. The truth is many kids will rise to the pressure and do well, but many will not.

The three tiger kids I knew (2 Chinese and 1 Jewish) all had horrible relationships with their parents as children, and always seems very close to a breakdown. Interestingly I went to a very accomplished (public) high school in a college town so it wasn't like it wasn't full of ambitious families ... Just you could tell the difference between the ones who were under that kind of pressure and the ones who were not. The tiger kids all did well enough by conventional standards, but two of them way underachieved their potential. And of course there were plenty of other kids in my class who did extremely well in life without having to be perpetually harassed by their parents as teens.

Anonymous wrote:In mclean there are rental houses that are shared by asian families so they can have an address in langley district.

and the mothers NEVER interact with anyone in neighborhood. Fathers play golf periodically. Kids never play in neighborhood. Only for going to school.

And you know that I went to China, the schools would NEVER allow this and I would never find a comparable job in that culture..

True. Over there you'd be hobbled by Chinese privilege.

In mclean there are rental houses that are shared by asian families so they can have an address in langley district.

and the mothers NEVER interact with anyone in neighborhood. Fathers play golf periodically. Kids never play in neighborhood. Only for going to school.

And you know that I went to China, the schools would NEVER allow this and I would never find a comparable job in that culture..

I work in mental health and see far too many young adults and teens who aren't functioning well because of academic stress and a culture that seems to favor striving and image management.

If I told you how many of my clients are Asian I bet you'd be surprised. Something is wrong if so many young Asian students are having depression, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts because they don't earn an A average or get into an Ivy college, top medical school or T14 law school. Parents of these kids may think that level of pressure is needed for success. The truth is many kids will rise to the pressure and do well, but many will not.

Anonymous wrote:If you're interested in this battle, then you need to read this:
http://chronicle.com/article/The-Trouble-With-Tiger-Culture/144267/

I'm an academic and I read it when it came out last year. I was really shocked by some of the author's claims. He essentially says that childhood is a western concept that people from other cultures don't buy into. He says that Asians think of kids as 'miniature adults' and that they have no problem with assigning a 3 year old homework because that's his job.

It really highlights the cultural divide. I find it troubling that so many people don't believe in childhood. It can't be healthy.

I'm an academic too and have always embraced "childhood" as a social construct. What is a "teenager" anyway? It only came about very recently. There's plenty of literature on it. I've found it quite helpful as a parent too, the idea that childhood looks very different depending on historical period and location. It's interesting.

Anonymous wrote:Behold white privilege.

It's not a bad place to be, if you want to know the truth. As a white lady with a white son, I refuse to apologize to my fellow parents with more melanin because my white son's mental health is the biggest worry for him. I'm really glad that he has such great higher education prospects ahead of him, and I take pleasure in guiding him through his middle and high school years while making good choices for his mental health and his academic future. I do feel privileged to be his mom with the abundance of opportunities spread out before us.

he Ivy League is very popular for undergrad education in Asia. More creative thinking!?! You have got to be kidding.

And exactly what kind of thinking do you supposed happens within those hallowed, ivy-covered walls of Harvard, Yale and Princeton?


a) rote memorization and data regurgitation that can be quantified

b) creative thinking and critical analysis


The rich and/or striving Asians aren't killing themselves to put Cheng Zhang into Princeton so he can continue puking back math facts.

Anonymous wrote:Behold white privilege.

If we were talking about sports than the parents in that article would not be protesting about all the pressure to make it to the NBA or whatever. The Asian parents are shooting for HYPS and MIT.

Different strokes.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is solely about immigrant anxiety and white privilege (although it is partially that.) I think it is about different models of education and concepts about what it means to be educated. Traditionally in the US we value things like creativity, personal development, thinking outside the box, and independent analysis. Asian education is more focused on rote learning that can be objectively judged through things like competitions and testing. Interestingly I have heard accounts of Chinese elites sending their kids to the US precisely to get access to the more creative thinking that they see lacking in their own institutions.

No. The Chinese elite send their kids to elite private schools in the US so that they learn English and go to HYP for undergrad. The Ivy League is very popular for undergrad education in Asia. More creative thinking!?! You have got to be kidding.

If Americans went to China or Korea (which we dont; notice the immigration is all the other way), we would run smack into Chinese privilege or Korean priviledge. This might be offset by cheating or outright bribery, which is not unknown in those countries.

I don't think this is solely about immigrant anxiety and white privilege (although it is partially that.) I think it is about different models of education and concepts about what it means to be educated. Traditionally in the US we value things like creativity, personal development, thinking outside the box, and independent analysis. Asian education is more focused on rote learning that can be objectively judged through things like competitions and testing. Interestingly I have heard accounts of Chinese elites sending their kids to the US precisely to get access to the more creative thinking that they see lacking in their own institutions.