This sounds like such a fun new game for your family. Save the tags so that every year you can look back at all the ridiculous ways she'd spell their names.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You are complaining because she sent gifts? Why is she even in charge of sending gifts and not your dad who is the biological grandfather?

Obviously not complaining about the gifts - it feels more like "here is a nice thing" but then "remember you're not really my family and I don't have to make the effort to even spell names correctly, because I care that little about you all." Like I said, maybe reading too much into it, but obviously this isn't about the gifts themselves. And dad isn't well enough to do the shopping and sending.

So an elderly woman, who is dealing with an ill and aging spouse, took the time to go shopping for your kids, and you're complaining that she didn't make enough effort?

Perhaps there is a child named Emylee that she sees all the time, so that's the spelling she has in her mind.

Stop looking for things to pick on. So she messed up your kids' names. My own brother misspells my name, as do all of my in-laws. People tend to misspell one of my kids names with a common alternate spelling. So what?

I'm a new step-grandmother, and have sent a package of gifts to my new step-grandkids and DIL, and if she takes this critical a view of what I sent and how it's presented, it will be sad, because I did the best I could and with love for them all. So the gifts may not be nice enough or exactly what's wanted, or maybe I got the names misspelled or didn't wrap neatly enough.

Life is so much nicer when you let potential offenses slide. I have a horrible MIL myself, and I've learned to let the little things slide, otherwise I'd be annoyed and angry at her all the time.

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother, so my kids' great-grandmother, misspells my daughter's name and doesn't pronounce it quiet right either, but it's not on purpose and the name is in a language she's not familiar with, so I think she's doing well considering her age. No offense taken on my part.

Your situation is different though OP. I don't think I'd do anything about it, or say anything, but surely the kids notice, or will soon, and if they speak up on their own - without prompting - I wouldn't stop them from pointing it out.

Ditto. Our kids have names that are slightly uncommon in English but were a good compromise between my and my partner's cultures. My own parents occasionally misspell one of the names, and it took them months to consistently remember the youngest's. It's not passive aggressive. They are just old and learning something new.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38 and one of my mom's sisters has mis-pronounced my name my entire life. She is bizarre and weird and quirky and all those things. My mom says she corrected her for a few years and just gave up. I don't know how she doesn't hear that everyone else pronounces it
Elizabeth (with the "I" pronounced like "it")
And she insists on saying
Eleeeeezabeth

Maybe this doesn't help your situation but she may just be tone deaf or clueless or really bad with names

Do you use an unusual pronounciation? I have a friend who has an unusual pronunciation of a moderately common name (something akin to Liza instead of Lisa). All of the other people that I know with that name use the common pronunciation. I try hard, but sometimes end up saying the common pronunciation. Pre-kids, I caught myself the infrequent times it would happen and would correct and apologize. With active twin pre-schoolers, my memory in a lot of areas is more shot. It happens slightly more often and I know on at least one occasion, I didn't catch it until signififcantly later thinking "Why did I call her that and not catch myself?" It may be an honest mistake or age-related.

My own grandmother misspelled my name for years. Adding random letters. Might just be old age.

My grandmother, so my kids' great-grandmother, misspells my daughter's name and doesn't pronounce it quiet right either, but it's not on purpose and the name is in a language she's not familiar with, so I think she's doing well considering her age. No offense taken on my part.

Your situation is different though OP. I don't think I'd do anything about it, or say anything, but surely the kids notice, or will soon, and if they speak up on their own - without prompting - I wouldn't stop them from pointing it out.

At least there are gifts and the names attempted! I saw a friend whose grandmother included her two kids in the card as "etc etc"!

I wouldn't care really. If she's not your bff, so what?

Anonymous wrote:I have a step-grandma who is doing the same type of strange things. It took us a while to see she is starting to get dementia, at 90. To be fair, she was always sharp with her words to us but now she has an excuse.

OP here - she's not even 65 yet. My dad remarried a younger woman when I was less than 5. Still, I'm planning to let go of the annoyance part (ignore ignore ignore) but raise it as a joke to my siblings (her children) to see if it gets corrected for the kids' sake.

I have a step-grandma who is doing the same type of strange things. It took us a while to see she is starting to get dementia, at 90. To be fair, she was always sharp with her words to us but now she has an excuse.

If it's truly a mistake/unintentional/age-related, then ignoring the mistake is the kind thing to do.

If it is on purpose/petty/a dig, then you cheerfully ignoring it is absolutely the best "revenge".

So you've got your course of action either way: ignore, ignore, ignore

Anonymous wrote:By way of background, my stepmother of 25+ years and I have to work really hard at getting along, but I thought we were in a good place. Recently, however, she seems to be trying to "poke" at me. For example, she made a few jabs recently about all of the members of "her family" in a way that made it clear that my family (husband and kids) were not included.

We just got a box of Christmas presents. On both it and the card, the names of two of my three children are misspelled. I'm talking pretty basic names that she seems to have made a sudden effort to misspell. Think turning "Johnathan" into "Jonathyne."

Am I reading too much into it by being annoyed?

This is utterly hilarious!!! Enjoy making your way through each holiday party this season with that in your pocket! You'd make me spit my wine!! It's so awful and reflects entirely on her---Classic Passive Aggressive Behavior.

Beautiful. Well done, crazy Step-MawMaw.

I had a friend that kept changing an A in my name to O (more common spelling). I corrected her several times. She kept 'forgetting'. So I started spelling her name Rebecco. She got the point very quickly.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You are complaining because she sent gifts? Why is she even in charge of sending gifts and not your dad who is the biological grandfather?

This is a good point. Step grandma here. Adore all the kids, but leave it to bio-grandpa. This way, any flaw will be blamed on him. I just love and support.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38 and one of my mom's sisters has mis-pronounced my name my entire life. She is bizarre and weird and quirky and all those things. My mom says she corrected her for a few years and just gave up. I don't know how she doesn't hear that everyone else pronounces it
Elizabeth (with the "I" pronounced like "it")
And she insists on saying
Eleeeeezabeth

Maybe this doesn't help your situation but she may just be tone deaf or clueless or really bad with names

You would be surprised how many people can't hear the difference between Laura and Lora.