Anonymous wrote:My son's teacher was straight of Teach For America and it was her first experience with private school recs. I offered that the narrative she provided for his report be used on the rec form. She wrote it while I sat in her classroom but not while I looked over her shoulder. He was accepted at a Big 3 for seventh grade.

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Anonymous wrote:The question is-is there some issue that you are worried that the teacher will be honest about? i disagree that they will put student in best light regardless. If you're child disturbs the class regularly or has serious academic issues they will put that on the form (in a constructive way, of course). They're not going to say you're child is the best student they've ever had and be dishonest. The truth is the best you can do is express to the teacher how much you and your child want this and hope for the best.

OP here. I have had no complaints from teachers. DS has all 3's & 4's and nothing other than the occasional, "I continue to remind him to talk with purpose," or "keep his hands to himself..."

Anonymous wrote:The question is-is there some issue that you are worried that the teacher will be honest about? i disagree that they will put student in best light regardless. If you're child disturbs the class regularly or has serious academic issues they will put that on the form (in a constructive way, of course). They're not going to say you're child is the best student they've ever had and be dishonest. The truth is the best you can do is express to the teacher how much you and your child want this and hope for the best.

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are not going to put their jobs on the line by putting bad things about your kid in writing. It benefits THEM to put your kid in the best light possible. So don't worry.

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Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

PS. My kids have got into every private we've ever applied to, so I think it would take more than this to make them think we were high maintenance and to be avoided. Haha.

Good luck getting getting high school teaches to write a rec without a waiver. Signing the waiver is just about required at DC's top 3 private. The recommendation is less valuable if you have refused your right to see it.

I meant, write a rec for college admissions. Signing the waiver is required by my DC's private, and for good reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

PS. My kids have got into every private we've ever applied to, so I think it would take more than this to make them think we were high maintenance and to be avoided. Haha.

Good luck getting getting high school teaches to write a rec without a waiver. Signing the waiver is just about required at DC's top 3 private. The recommendation is less valuable if you have refused your right to see it.