Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry some of you married such assholes.

Meh, we divorced, and I've been married to a great guy for 11 years.

Anonymous wrote:It was me, not being 100% about what I wanted, and letting his needs come first.

Oh, god, THIS.

I'll add, when I verbalized my needs, he would discount them. He was content being the sole center of our marriage.

Anger issues.

Having a different set of rules/expectations for me, than for him.

Extreme possessiveness and constantly thinking I'm cheating on him.

Getting physical with me.

moody and poutiness....

Anonymous wrote:When he stayed out past 10:30 at his company Christmas party.

LOL

Had a real self-esteem/inferiority complex. Really hung up about things that happened in high school (not getting girls) even though it was 10 years later. Had this need for reassurance all the time and would get really depressed if I rejected him in any way ("don't feel like sex tonight" became me not wanting to have sex with HIM). Most of all he took everything really personally - and any negative thing that happened (somebody not responding to his emails right away, not returning a phone call, someone at work got praise and he didn't) would be because that person had something against HIM. Not maybe because they were busy and have lives of their own.

It didn't seem like a big deal at the time - the instances where this popped up were just occasional so it didn't seem like a real problem.

Fast-forward 15 years and he's buying the sports cars and having affairs = the typical mid life crisis - the need for constant reassurance that he was attractive and worthy from me wasn't enough (was never enough, has never been enough) and any female that gave him the attention he just gravitated towards and did her bidding.

Years of couple therapy and we're separated now - and he's still the same way.

The little things become big things. If you see red flags now...

Catching him in lies, him laughing them off as "silly."

His anger issues that were not directed at me initially eventually were.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanted me to SAH, buys me multiple homes, takes me on luxury trips, and doesn't appreciate my Christmas decorations.

+1 Ha.

+2 lol, hello from the other thread.

Anonymous wrote:Wanted me to SAH, buys me multiple homes, takes me on luxury trips, and doesn't appreciate my Christmas decorations.

+1 Ha.

Wanted me to SAH, buys me multiple homes, takes me on luxury trips, and doesn't appreciate my Christmas decorations.

Large socio-economic status differences -- I came from a wealthy family, he from a poor one. I didn't care nor did my family, but he clearly did, and it didn't start with me and it carried through to other aspects of his life.

Strong history of substance abuse and mental illness in his family (although he himself did not appear to have similar problems until years into our relationship).

Very serious very early on. Talking marriage, kids, moving in together within 6 months.

Low self-esteem.

Lied about small things.

He told me he didn't love his family members, though there was no real reason except disdain (no abuse, etc.).

He was self-righteous.

I'm sorry some of you married such assholes.

Drinking too much.
It was fun to go out in our twenties but i should have realized that he didnt have an off switch once he got going.

Not 1 red flag. He just likes to cheat.